Hello fellow fish. So, you checked out my pics and decided to read the profile! Hahaha! Yeah, I know how it works. Enjoy the read. It's long, but filled with good information.
My life is not perfect, but it's pretty good. I have very little to complain about (mostly just stupid f-ing people!!). I think I have a good sense of humor, and I do my best to stay positive (well, except when i'm talking about stupid f-ing people!). I'm independent and self sufficient, and I guess I consider myself "successful" (though I haven't won the lottery yet. I'm told I have to play to win. Hm.) Staying active and healthy is important to me, though I’m not in shape (this is my disclaimer) and I'm definitely not consistent with the whole exercise thing. However, I enjoy working on it. I recently re-discovered my bicycle and I love it! I'm hoping to find somebody with a similar mind set. All in all I'd have to say I'm pretty happy.
I like to goof around and be silly, and I crack myself up sometimes with the inappropriate things that come out of my mouth. Hopefully you're not easily offended. I enjoy a variety of things; some of my favorites being hiking, road trips with no destination in mind, working in my yard, watching movies (but only if I have somebody to cuddle up with), park days (I still love the swings and playing frisbee), music festivals (though I don't care much for concerts), camping, and playing catch with the football. Yes, camping and playing catch with the football. All you insecure dudes out there who think girls can't possibly enjoy outdoor activities, getting dirty, camping and sports, GET OVER YOURSELF! I also enjoy just hanging at home, lighting a fire on a winter day and snuggling up with a good book. I don't like being cold, and I hate the rain, but I love a good storm. The ocean is... well, just that. It's the ocean. It's pretty to look at, but I much prefer a mountain covered with every shade of green and a beautiful rocky river. Let me be clear here... The ocean is just OK; it is NOT my dream to live by the ocean, ever! So, if this is your dream, we're not a match. I love doing projects around my house, and I don’t mind getting dirty or sweaty (and no, I don't "glisten", I sweat, among other things, just like you do). Mornings are my very favorite part of each day, along with a cup of coffee or two, and I'm usually an early riser (but willing to hang in bed if there's a reason to...hm?). I’m not a bar or club kinda girl, and I'm not really into the "night life". I prefer a down home bbq or just getting together at somebody's house. I don't mind going out for dinner or a drink once in a while but I much prefer to play during the day and come home to cuddle up for the evening. I like many types of music, including country and yes, RAP! OMG, SHOCKING!! (come on, some of it is really funny!) I'm mostly a jeans and flip flops kinda girl, but I clean up nice when necessary (emphasis on “necessary”), and I can do it pretty quickly without spending hours in front of the mirror. I consider myself pretty average in looks, but I'm told I'm cute. I wear very little make-up, and have no problem leaving the house with a clean face and my hair thrown up on my head. And finally, I cannot tell the difference between a gucci handbag and a Walmart handbag, and frankly, couldn't care less.
Now, about the relationship, and the guy... Respect and communication are most important to me. My guy should have my back at all times, no matter what. I'm looking for a guy who can be himself in all situations, and express himself clearly. If you're afraid of intimate conversations, can't give a compliment, or accept one gracefully, you're not my guy. Eventually, we should be able to talk about anything and everything. I like a humble man. If you know it all, and have done and seen it all, or have a better one than anybody else, we're definitely not right for each other. I like a man who is still able to learn and follow, as well as lead when necessary. I like a guy with a great sense of humor, who likes to laugh at himself, and of course, not be offended if I laugh at him too (because I will, Ha!). We don’t have to like all the same stuff, but if we can’t hang out and play together, what’s the point? We should also be able to just hang quietly together, he doing his thing, me doing mine. We would not be each other's only source of entertainment; however, I would be his first choice, as he would be mine. And finally, I’d like to meet a guy who lives relatively nearby. If we can’t be at one another’s door within a short amount of time, it probably won’t work. I do not want a long distance relationship. Seriously, San Francisco, Napa... COLORADO, TOO FAR!
Now, here's the deal. A lot of people have baggage, including myself. At 47 years old, I've seen and experienced my share of sh!t. You might even have a little baggage too. Get over yourself! As long as we’re not tripping over it every day, I don't see the problem. On the other hand, if you’re looking for that girl who’s just happy happy happy all the frickin time, good luck with that. I consider myself a pretty up-beat kind of girl, but I don't walk around with a smile pasted on my face, and I do have a bad day now and then. And, you might just p!ss me off now and then, and i might just wanna poke your eyeballs out! Put on your big boy goggles, and deal with it. You can either rise to the challenge of putting a smile on my face (trust me, it's not hard) or run like a coward; your choice.
And now, with all that said, here are a few things for you to consider if you want me to respond to you.
1. Have a CURRENT picture that CLEARLY SHOWS YOUR FACE. Remove the stupid sunglasses and be close enough to the camera to be visible. No blind dates! Isn't that the purpose here?
2. Don't lie about your height and body type. Deal breaker! That's deceitful, and false advertisement. And really, do you think I won't notice the difference between the 5'10" you claimed to be, and the 5'7" you really are? (not that there's anything wrong with 5'7", but as i stated above, NO BLIND DATES!)
3. Do not refer to me as sweetie, cutie, baby, hon, doll, dear or any other creepy something before we've even met. Ew, slimy. And when we do meet, keep your hands off! It's our first meeting, geez!
4. After a few emails, we should be planning to meet, or exchanging phone numbers at least. I am NOT looking for an email buddy.
5. VERY IMPORTANT! The point of my headline. If I give you my phone number, I'm expecting that you will use it to CALL me. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT text me. I prefer the good old fashioned PHONE CALL (shocking, right?) and the anticipation of the next, and the next. Save the texting for your friends or your kids. And, seriously, I WILL NOT think it's cute if you send me even a sweet little "have a nice day" text. I will think you're a complete idiot.