Hello fellow fish. So, you checked out my pics and decided to read the profile! Hahaha! Yeah, I know how it works. Enjoy the read. It's long, but it's good.
So, life is not perfect, but it's pretty good. I have very little to complain about at the moment (well, except the dog down the street that never shuts the hell up! Grrrr.... Oh, and that dumb sh!t who stops in a right hand turn lane when there is 500 feet of merge lane ahead! WTF! Just drive!!). I have a good sense of humor, and I do my best to stay positive (does talking crap about dumb drivers negate being positive? hmmm...). Anyway, I like to think of myself as successful, independent and self sufficient. Staying active and healthy is important to me, though I’m not in shape and not always consistent with the whole exercise thing. However, I enjoy working on it. I recently started cycling and I love it! I didn't realize how much I've missed riding my bike. I'm hoping to find somebody with a similar mind set. All in all I have a good job, good friends and for the most part, I'm happy.
Well, Ok, FINE! The truth is... I'm really just a miserable, bitter, shrew and I hope the neighbor's dog croaks! Ha! Ok, just kidding. I'm not a shrew. Hee hee hee hee hee hee
I like to goof around and be silly, and I crack myself up sometimes with the totally inappropriate things that come out of my mouth. I enjoy a variety of things, but how often I enjoy some of them depends on my current situation. Some of my favorite things include hiking, road trips with no destination in mind, working in my yard, watching movies (but only if I have somebody to cuddle up with), park days (I still love the swings and playing frisbee), music festivals (though I don't care for concerts), camping, and playing catch with the football. Yes, camping and playing catch with the football! So, all you insecure dudes out there who think girls can't possibly enjoy outdoor activities, camping and sports, BITE ME! You're just afraid we'll do it better than you! I also enjoy just hanging at home, lighting a fire and snuggling up with a good book. I don't mind the cold as long as the sun is shining. I hate the rain, but I love a good storm. The ocean is... well, the ocean. It's just ok. I much prefer a mountain covered with every shade of green. Now, I want to be very clear here... The ocean is just OK, and it is NOT my dream to live by the ocean, ever! I love doing projects around my house, and I don’t mind getting dirty or sweaty (and no, I don't "glisten", I sweat, among other things, just like you do). Mornings are my very favorite part of each day, along with a cup of coffee, and I'm usually an early riser (but willing to hang in bed if there's a reason to...hm?). I’m not a bar or club kinda girl, and I'm not really into the "night life". I prefer the down home bbq or just getting together at somebody's house. I don't mind going out for dinner or a drink once in a while but I much prefer playing during the day and coming home to cuddle up for the evening. I like many types of music, including country and yes, RAP! OMG!! (come on, some of it is really funny!) I'm mostly a jeans and flip flops kinda girl, but I clean up nice when necessary (emphasis on “necessary”), and I can do it pretty quickly and don't need to spend hours in front of the mirror. I consider myself pretty average in looks, but I'm told I'm cute. I wear very little make-up, and have no problem leaving the house with a clean face and my hair thrown up in a pony. And finally, I cannot tell the difference between a gucci handbag and a Walmart handbag, and frankly, couldn't care less.
Now, about the relationship... Respect and communication are most important to me. My guy should have my back at all times. I'm looking for a guy who can be himself in all situations. He should be able to express himself clearly and we should be able to talk about anything and everything. We don’t have to like all the same stuff, but if we can’t hang out and play together, what’s the point? We should also be able to just hang quietly together, he doing his thing, me doing mine. We would not be each other's only source of entertainment; however, I would be his first choice, as he would be mine. I like a humble man. If you know it all, and have done and seen it all, we're probably not right for each other. I need a guy with a great sense of humor, who likes to laugh at himself, and of course, not be offended if I laugh at him too (because I will, Ha!). I’d like to meet a guy who lives relatively nearby. If we can’t be at one another’s door within a short amount of time, it probably won’t work. I do not want a long distance relationship. Seriously, San Francisco, Napa... Colorado, TOO FAR!
Now, here's the deal. A lot of people have baggage, including myself and chances are, you might have some too. Get over yourself! As long as we’re not tripping over it every day, I don't see the problem. But please, if you’re looking for that chick who’s just happy happy happy all the frickin time, good luck. I consider myself a pretty up-beat kind of girl, but I have a bad day now and then, and there may be a time or two when I just wanna poke your eyeballs out. Put on your big boy goggles, and deal with it. You can either rise to the challenge of putting a smile back on my face (trust me, it's not hard) or run like a coward; your choice.
And now, with all that said, here are a few things for you to consider if you want me to respond to you.
1. Have a CURRENT picture that CLEARLY SHOWS YOUR FACE. Remove the stupid sunglasses and be close enough to the camera to be visible.
2. Don't lie about your height and body type. Deal breaker! Do you really think I won't notice the difference between the 5'10" you claimed, and the 5'7" you are?
3. Do not call me sweetie, cutie, baby, hon, doll, dear or any other creepy something before we've even met. Ewww! And when we do meet, keep your hands off! It's our first meeting, geez!
4. After a few emails, we should be planning to meet, or exchanging numbers. I am NOT looking for an email buddy.
5. MOST IMPORTANT! The point of my headline. If I give you my phone number, I'm expecting that you will use it to CALL me. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT send me a text message, not even to ask me when you can call. I prefer the good old fashioned PHONE CALL (shocking, right?) and the anticipation of the next, and the next. I do not need, nor want, the CONSTANT contact via text. I don't need to know your every move and thought RIGHT NOW! Save the texting for your friends or your kids. And seriously, I WILL NOT think it's cute if you send me even a sweet little "have a nice day" text. I will instead think you're a complete idiot.
Well, I think that pretty much covers it. I've given you more than enough information. if you're still reading and not totally offended, well, you might just be the man i'm look