I resist the idea of setting down a list of my likes and dislikes, as most of what we do and pursue in life is acquired and not central to who, and what, we are. I much prefer to explore the philosophy that underlies the way I look at life and what it is in that life I want to share with that someone who will be, I hope, the most wonderful person I've ever known.
As such, this is that philosophy, boiled down to eight hopeful paragraphs:
Boston-born, New York suburbs-raised writer in L. A. for 31 years seeks curious, smart, witty compassionate woman who appreciates the humor and new experiences that make life worth living.
It seems that everybody writes about a fondness for long walks on the beach, candle-lit dinners and rosy-fingered sunsets, but I'd love to find someone who also appreciates the simple, fulfilling pleasures of undertaking even the most mundane tasks with the one you love. The helping and sharing whose cumulative effect is incalculable. I honestly feel that if one can't find romance in the mundane (that, after all, accounts for, oh, 98% of the time couples spend together), then all the big romantic things celebrated in song and story won't begin to compensate for its absence.
Now, what sort of woman am I looking for? Ferociously intelligent, curious, compassionate, independent, possessed of the proverbial "sparkling wit." Someone who's resisted every attempt to persuade her to hide any part of her light under a bushel. A woman with an acute, refined sense of the absurd, prepared at a moment's notice to trade banter with me worthy of a classic Howard Hawks movie, who delights in debates, both profound and giddy, and who's grateful every day for having been given a life to live.
I could write more, but want to keep this fairly short. We are, in the end, the sum of our philosophies, not our acquired tastes. As with good expository dialogue in a movie, details as to my likes and dislikes are best doled out gradually and naturally in happy conversation.
I do believe strongly that though we've little control over much in our lives, we do have complete control as to how we treat others, so there's no excuse if we fail to do so. Noble sentiments are fine, but talk is cheap; I believe that promises made must be promises kept.
Real happiness is, in the end, not so much about what one does, but the company one keeps while doing it.
Lastly, I'm looking for that special woman to be the centerpiece of my life for what sometimes seems the most selfish of reasons: making her happy is the only thing that will make ME happy.
PS: I feel compelled to mention that I lied about my height. It's actually 6' 1 1/2," but we can list only in 1" increments. The only honorable thing, then, is to be 1/2" taller than advertised, rather than, on that first date, found to be 1/2" shorter.
Oh, by the way: like me, you've probably browsed through hundreds, if not thousands, of profiles on this site. Certain phrases come up frequently, most of them cliches, one of them being "hopeless romantic." Please know that there's no such thing -- to be a romantic is to be endlessly filled with hope.
There are, of course, a million things that a man and woman can do on a first date. Some of them are unusual and exotic; others routine and unimaginative. What they do is, in the end, irrelevant and futile if one or both fails to fascinate the other; that fascination is the product of a mysterious and magical alchemy -- not "chemistry" (a word all too common in dating profiles), which is rational and logical and speaks of experiments that yield the exact same result each time -- that somehow creates a whole greater than the sum of its parts.
There's nothing more exciting than to see in the eyes of your date a sincere interest. I have little control over how interesting I'm perceived to be, but I do have 100% control over how much attention I give my date, so it's always 100%).
That said, I like good food (especially Japanese, Thai, Greek and Mexican), an absorbing (and preferably old) movie and, most importantly, unhurried conversation in which my date tells me what it is about her that makes HER unique, and if she's more interested in IDEAS than things. Because each of us is, in the end, not a thing but a unique idea the mind of the Universe.