I'm looking for a true gentleman. What is A True Gentleman?
A man may be able to put across a great image, but it could simply be a cover for hidden shortcomings, or he could just be totally faking it to ‘get the girl.’
I'm paraphrasing below what a True Gentleman is:
A true gentleman values more than just my looks.
Is every compliment from you about a different body part? It doesn’t matter how creative you can be, if your sole focus is on how I look, or ‘talking dirty,’ I see it as a red flag. A real man will value my personality, my kindness, my intelligence, and who I am as a person, in general. The things you make me feel good about will be things that I control, not just results of getting lucky in the gene pool.
A true gentleman will not be intimidated by my motivation.
A man who has goals for himself, will want to be with a woman who has goals for her own life, too. He should not feel intimidated or threatened by a woman who goes after what she wants. He will want to be part of a power couple, rather than a dictatorship.
A true gentleman will have more interests than just me.
I should, of course, be a priority in your life – but you need to have a life as well. Interests, friends, aspirations. If a man works his entire life around me, it’s another red flag – relationships should be a great part of my life, but not encompass my whole life.
A true gentleman will give me answers.
No matter how awkward or uncomfortable a situation is, a real man will approach it, and me, with respect. I have always felt that a mark of a man is how he handles conflict, criticism, and less-than-ideal situations.
A true gentleman is direct.
In addition to the last point – a gentleman can be direct, pithy, to the point, and honest…but with kindness, humor, or aplomb. (think James Bond)
A true gentleman can trust me.
I don’t betray my man’s trust, so I expect my man to NOT be paranoid, or snoop around invading my privacy to make sure I’m not doing anything bad.
You will have confidence in our relationship. A boy will project his own insecurities onto me, and like termites in a house, will eat away at the foundation of what I’ve built.
A true gentleman is cool, calm, and collected.
It should be understood that part of what comes with the territory of having a girlfriend, is dealing with her getting hit on. If we are at the bar together, or if she’s out with her friends, it goes without saying that your girlfriend will get hit on every once in awhile.
Instead of letting your primate instincts prevail and beating your chest like an angry gorilla to scare off competition, a confident man will calmly make his position known, and understand that I’m still going home with him at the end of the night.
A true gentleman will show me respect.
Nothing signifies an empty shell of a man more than someone who disrespects women, animals, or children. A real man will treat me with the respect that I deserve, needn't resort force to ask me to do things against my best interest, and never mistreat me.
A true gentleman will put effort into our relationship.
Boys are generally apathetic and just look for one thing from a woman. A man, will do what it takes to make me happy, both inside and outside of the bedroom. My happiness, is your reward.
A true gentleman will make me want to be the best version of myself, without changing who I really am.
A man will empower those around him. He will strive for greatness and therefore inspire others to strive for it as well. This not only includes friends and co-workers, but also significant others.
I don't do day-long text ping-pong. Let's chat on the phone briefly. First date can be planned out then if we like each other on phone...
I currently say NO to all coffee date invitation, and I don't really drink alcohol. May be ok with coffee date after Feb 2014 when my schedule allows.
If you want to talk further, please send phone number with the message. I will text you and we can briefly talk on the phone. I only need to learn on the phone enough about you to decide YES or NO to dinner or HH should you choose to ask me out, and that need not be that long. Sometimes, I know immediately the answer would be NO after the first couple of words and will excuse myself off the phone. Please don't take offense. I'm a woman who knows what she wants.