Anybody who’s been on even one 'Online' Date knows how hard it can be to have any idea what you’re getting when you meet someone this way. So many questions! (You know: Why are you single? Are the cops about to come crashing in after you? Do you hate kids? Do you kick cats? Are you completely useless / hopeless / clueless? Are you going to be the worst thing that ever happened to me? Are you interesting? Are you fun? Are you the One I’ve Spent My Whole Life Searching For?) To try and help with that, here are a few
Fun Facts about Me:
*Have I ever been arrested? Yes. When I was 19. For espionage. On a god-forsaken lump of dirt in the middle of the ocean, on the other side of the planet. The US military had me out in under thirty minutes. (True story.) My legal record is spotless, and I have a concealed-carry permit. (Hey, it’s an easy way to tell someone doesn’t have a record - - they don’t let you keep a CCW if you’re legally sketchy.)
*I’ve always loved to look at girls, (and pretty much everything, because I’m an intensely visual person,) but loved being married, and never cheated. (This had less to do with my spouse, than with how I feel about keeping a promise. I think I'm one of those people who's just meant to be in an intense, committed relationship.)
*My ex said, after our divorce, that she’d like to live next door to me because it would be “the safest place in the world.” She also wanted me to run for governor because she thought if anyone could fix Michigan, it was I. (I told her only a crazy person divorces people that they feel this way about.) She countered that she’s just not cut out to be married. As much as I agree with her, this revelation torqued me off quite a bit, because she was the one who proposed; is the only girl who ever broke up with me; and always wants to be friends with whomever I'm going out with.
*Speaking of my ex, she and I were both naked when we met. ("F*cking Catalina Wine Mixer..." Shakes head, knowingly.) ; )
*I took in a brother-in-arms (from my military days) for a year, when he was going through a rough patch, and now he owns the house next door to mine. Ironic, since he’s not even from Michigan, but we each like knowing that there’s someone we can trust with our lives, living just down the street.
*I thought last winter killed my fig tree, but it came back. So, you know - - got that fig tree. And you know what they say, “when you have figs in your haversack, everybody seeks your friendship.” ; )
*I have been asked, a surprising number of times, for my autograph. (If you get me drunk enough, I might tell you why. But probably not.)
*I have to leave Muskegon, occasionally, to eat at interesting restaurants. I haven’t eaten meat or fish on purpose since the ’80’s. (Except for some grasshoppers, once, because they were a tribal delicacy, and I wanted to avoid being rude.) (Btw, guess what doesn't taste like chicken...)
*I walked away from a legal two-hundred-fifty dollar per hour job because I could never tell when I was working for the good guy, or the bad guy. I also quit a much more lucrative and fun business that I started, because it was coming between me, and the people I cared about. (If you read this & think I'm bragging, you're missing the point, and probably not for me. If you read this and think, "what an IDIOT!" you're probably right, but still missing the point and, again, probably not for me. Just sayin'...)
*I don't do jealousy at all. If you wanted to be with someone else, you wouldn't be with me. Right?
*Hell will freeze over before I watch sports on TV. (Though I always watch my son’s games, meets & matches, or my friends’ kids, sometimes.)
*There’s a pretty decent little gym and workshop in my barn. Would love to have the right partner to enjoy both with.
*I have two dogs. Each was on its way to the pound unless I gave it a home. Both were from girls I met through pof, and dated for a while. (Technically, one was from the girl's ex-husband - - they were still friends, he & I met and got along, and when he had to get rid of his dog, they called me. Five years later, the dog is family, and helping me train the new dog, and the chicken.) (Did I mention I also have a chicken? Presumably, it tastes nothing like grasshopper, but we'll never know...) (Dear Soulmate, PLEASE find me before I end up with a petting zoo!!!)
*If you ever feel like you've got it rough, consider the fact that chickens wake up one day & realize, "Holy Sh*t! I live in a world that's Perversely Fond of Eating Chicken, and I'm Made Entirely of Chicken!" (Okay, that's not really about me, but it is a Fun Fact.)
*I'm still on good terms with pretty much every girl I've ever met from pof.
Well, these Random Factoids should help give you a bit of a sense of who I am, and what I’m like. Obviously, I'm not for everyone. If you think we’d click, hit me up.
Meeting a stranger, who has caught your interest online, isn't really "a date."
A date is what you have after you decide that you don't want that person to remain a stranger.
A good date includes a bit of mystery, some suspense, pleasant surprise, a lot of laughter, and feeling like you've made a meaningful connection.
I'm looking forward to us finding each other, and sharing our "Last First Date," together!