I'm nothing like anyone else you're going to meet here. That's not bragging - - it's a disclaimer - - chances are, 99.99% of the women who read this & I aren't looking for each other.
The woman I seek might not possess every one of the following traits, but they should give some insight into what I'm after. My ideal woman is not unaccustomed to being the smartest person in the room. Has lived through at least one major disaster, and seen civilization evaporate, however temporarily. Knows how to handle a gun. Is or has been a decision-maker. Is experienced and capable both of kicking ass, and taking names, but actually believed that Manners Maketh Man long before "The Kingsman" said it. Is more likely to empathize with people than judge them. Despite all the preceding, still prefers the man to be the man, and the woman to be the woman, in the bedroom. Has already had all the kids she intends to have. Gets hit on often, by guys who have no chance. Owns a dress, a set of heels, and a bikini. Knows how to use makeup, but doesn't need it to leave the house. Has been outdoors naked - - and liked it. Is not fear-motivated. Does not need a religion. Does not believe in "The Democrats," "The Republicans," or, "The Terrorists." (Recognized the preceding 'Oxford comma,' as such, and that that's simply a pretentious term for a serial comma.) Has no interest in 'reality' TV, watching sports, (unless it's the kids, or friends,) etc. Has always been her own person. Digs self-sufficiency. Thrives on closeness, touch, and intimacy of all kinds. Knows words like erudite, esoteric, discerning, mercurial, and, callipygian, and that they apply to her. (Knows that 'callipygian' and 'callipygean' are both correct spellings, even though spell-check doesn't recognize either one.) Has always been fit, and thinks she could probably beat me to the top of a dune or at least give me a run for my money. Loves the water, and the things one can do on, in, and under it. Loves music, color and texture. Has gotten choked up reading poetry. Is a vegetarian, or would like to be, and is kind to people and other animals.
And she's been looking for me all her life, knowing I've spent mine searching for her...
Obviously, if you're living in west Michigan, the chances of you being anything like the girl described are extremely unlikely. Fortunately, I'm only looking for one, not trying to collect the entire set!!!
(If you believe that you are the girl I described, for f*ck's sake, write me - - we've already been looking for each other our whole lives! Let's not waste another second! And if you've got n!pples that could poke an eye out, you've discovered my catnip - - let's meet ten seconds ago!!!)
And if you are going to write, please have at least a clear portrait, and full-length pic, and write more than "Hey there :)" or "Hello!" The girl I'm looking for has no trouble sharing her thoughts, making conversation, or expressing herself in full sentences. If you do, you're obviously not she.
Meeting a stranger, who has caught your interest online, isn't really "a date."
A date is what you have after you decide that you don't want that person to remain a stranger.
A good date includes a bit of mystery, some suspense, pleasant surprise, a lot of laughter, and feeling like you've made a meaningful connection.
I'm looking forward to us finding each other and, going out on that joyous, mesmerizing adventure that lasts all the rest of our lives!