Public Service Announcement: For those ladies lamenting the lack of, "handsome gentlemen," and "attractive, eligible bachelors," you should know that every time a woman, writing in her online dating profile, announces that she, "loves to laugh," (apparently to distinguish herself from the numberless horde who hates to laugh,) or refers to herself as, "a women," some hot, intelligent, amazing catch of a man climbs to a great height, and leaps despondently to his death, or decides to give up on females altogether, and turns queer, or simply bursts into flames altogether, in another 'unsolved' case of spontaneous human combustion. Only YOU can do something about the Mr. Right Extinction Event currently underway. We now return to our regularly scheduled dating profile...
I'm freshly out of a “complicated” “relationship,” and, honestly, not really interested in “dating” for a while. (I'm putting my "quotey-fingers" away now.)
Apart from the dozen years that I was married, I've been searching for my soulmate since I was 19 and, at this point, I think I'm going to give it a break. Lately, for reasons I cannot fathom, I seem to keep getting pursued by married, or otherwise unavailable, women who would seem to have no business dating. It's really kind of put me off the whole thing.
So, why the dating profile? I don't see anyone on here, within local dating distance, that I'm seriously interested in getting to know. But I know that there are lots of lurkers, out there, who keep a hidden profile, just so they can scout the talent. In the extremely unlikely event that there's a girl within thirty miles of Muskegon, who's fit, intelligent, active, fun, and interested in adopting, or already practices a raw vegan lifestyle, then this profile should make it easier for us to find each other.
In the meantime, I've been a little busy, these past few months, having an adventure, reinventing my life, working on myself, working out, throwing out decades worth of literal and figurative baggage, and generally seeing how deep the rabbit hole goes. I'm having a grand time of it, and it's starting to get pretty intriguing. I was recently informed that a West Coast author has begun writing about my adventures. Life just keeps getting stranger... :)
I've got nothing but time for the right girl, but I have none for anything less. If you smoke, or eat animals, or are into watching sports, or going to church, I'm sure you're fun and amazing, but we aren't meant for each other, so let's not waste each other's time, yeah? And if you're married, in a relationship, or otherwise unavailable, thanks, but I'm not interested. By the way, if you're going to write, please have a pic available. I showed you mine.
Let's try to be good to each other out there...
Meeting a stranger, who has caught your interest online, isn't really "a date."
A date is what you have after you decide that you don't want that person to remain a stranger.
A good first date includes a bit of mystery, some suspense, pleasant surprise, a lot of laughter, and feeling like you've made a meaningful connection.
I'm looking forward to us finding each other and, going out on that joyous, mesmerizing adventure that lasts all the rest of our lives!