Anybody who’s been on even one 'Online' Date knows how hard it can be to have any idea what you’re getting when you meet someone this way. So many questions! (You know: Why are you single? Are the cops about to come crashing in after you? Do you hate kids? Do you kick cats? Are you completely useless / hopeless / clueless? Are you going to be the worst thing that ever happened to me? Are you interesting? Are you fun? Are you the One I’ve Spent My Whole Life Searching For?) To try and help with that, here are a few
Fun Facts about Me:
*Have I ever been arrested? Yes. When I was 19. For espionage. On a god-forsaken lump of dirt in the middle of the ocean, on the other side of the planet. The US military had me out in under thirty minutes. Since then, I actually went from being, technically, an outlaw, (funny story) to being employed by the federal government in charge of over a hundred people; my legal record is spotless, and I have a concealed-carry permit. (Hey, it’s an easy way to tell someone doesn’t have a record - - they don’t let you keep a CCW if you’re legally sketchy.)
*Hell will freeze over before I watch sports on TV. (Though I always watch my son’s games, meets & matches.) Not really into beer, either. (Arrr matey, when sailors be drinkin', they drink rum! But I do always keep 'a bottle of bubbly' [alcoholic & non] in the fridge, just in case - - you never know when something will need celebrating!)
*I’ve always loved to look at girls, (and pretty much everything, because I’m an intensely visual person,) but loved being married, and never cheated. I think I'm one of those people who's just meant to be in an intense, affectionate, committed relationship.)
*My teenage son was born at home, in the water, in a 900 gallon pool in our dining room, has never been vaccinated, has been vegetarian since birth, and is the fittest, healthiest person I can think of. He's also smart, thoughtful, and hilarious. Despite a particularly adventurous, colorful life, being a father is the most important thing I've ever done.
*My ex and I get on well, often send each other leftovers when we cook something special, and occasionally do things together as a family. (Once you get to know her, you'll think she's out of her mind, but you'll like her.)
*Speaking of my ex, she and I were both naked when we met. ("F*cking Catalina Wine Mixer..." [Shakes head, knowingly.]) ; )
*I took in a brother-in-arms (from my military days) for a year, when he was going through a rough patch, and now he owns the house next door to mine. Ironic, since he’s not even from Michigan, but we each like knowing that there’s someone we can trust with our lives, living just down the street.
*I thought last winter killed my fig tree, but it came back. So, you know - - got that fig tree. And you know what they say, “when you have figs in your haversack, everybody seeks your friendship.” ; )
*I have been asked, a surprising number of times, for my autograph. People also ask if I 'get my temples done' to make them silver, like Mad Max, or Reed Richards'. (Answer: No. That one floored me a little, cuz, you know, everybody's out there tryna' look like Reed Richards, right?)
*I have to leave Muskegon, occasionally, to eat at interesting restaurants. I haven’t eaten meat or fish on purpose since the ’80’s. (Except for some grasshoppers, once, because they were a tribal delicacy, and I try never to be rude.) (Btw, guess what doesn't taste like chicken...)
*I walked away from a legal two-hundred-fifty dollar per hour job because I could never tell when I was working for the good guy, or the bad guy. I also quit a much more lucrative and fun business that I started, because it was coming between me, and the people I cared about. (If you read this & think I'm bragging, you're missing the point, and probably not for me. If you read this and think, "what an IDIOT!" you're probably right, but still missing the point and, again, probably not for me. Just sayin'...)
*I don't do jealousy at all. If you wanted to be with someone else, you wouldn't be with me. Right?
*Have I ever done something horrible involving gamma radiation? Yes. But it was in the Name of Science, Dammit, Science! I regret nothing. (No new super powers, though... [Sighs.])
*I'm in Mensa and, yes, we are by definition a little eccentric. (I keep my membership mainly for the travel connections.)
*There’s a pretty decent little gym and workshop in my barn. Would love to have the right partner to enjoy both with.
*I have two dogs. Each was on its way to the pound unless I gave it a home. Both were from girls I met through pof, and dated for a while. (Technically, one was from the girl's ex-husband - - they were still friends, he & I met and got along, and when he had to get rid of his dog, they called me. Five years later, the dog is family, and helping me train the new dog, and the chicken.) (Did I mention I also have a pof-chicken? Presumably, it tastes nothing like grasshopper, but we'll never know...) (Update 04Aug2014: Guess who laid her first egg today!!! The dogs & I are so proud!) (Dear Soulmate, PLEASE find me before I end up with a petting zoo!!!)
*If you ever feel like you've got it rough, consider the fact that chickens could wake up any day & realize, "Holy Crap! I live in a world that's Perversely Fond of Eating Chicken, and I'm Made Entirely of Chicken!" (Okay, that's not really about me, but it is a Fun Fact; unless you're a chicken, in which case it S*cks *ss.)
*I'm still on good terms with pretty much every girl I've ever dated. Just about everyone I know, male or female, has told me I'd be the one they'd like to have along if they ever get marooned on a desert island, if the Sh*t ever truly Hits the Fan, or if they need a Lifeline on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire."
Well, these Random Factoids should help give you a bit of a sense of who I am, and what I’m like. Obviously, no one is for everyone. If you think we’d click, hit me up.
PS. Please have some pix up if you're going to write. It's only fair. I showed you mine... ; )
I think I'm going to pull this profile down soon. It's becoming something of a time sink.