Why I'm here: I initially started to give on-line dating a serious try because I hate that "look" that guys give me when they find out that I have a son. It's a quick, but awkward glance followed by disconnected words as they try to figure out how to hide their disappointment without seeming like a bad guy. lol! (FYI: I don't think anyone is a bad guy for not dating a woman with children. Everyone is entitled to their personal preferences. I have preferences too! I don't date men with teardrops tatooed under their eyes. That doesn't make me bad.) My son is two years old and amazing. Dating while being a mom is brand new to me and while I don't define myself by my "single mother" status, it has changed the lens that I use when I decide to date someone.
I am in a "no judgment" phase of my life. This means that I know there are a plethora of good men around and I have accepted that some men are wonderful, but not right for me romantically and just because we have different ideologies and/or preferences, it doesn't make either one of us "bad", for lack of a better word. I believe that most people have something great to offer. I don't want to change anyone and I want to meet someone who doesn't want to change me. I want to meet someone, accept them as they are and possibly grow together. I am happy & complete and most importantly, I like myself. I want to be with a man who is happy and complete without me, so that we can connect and take the world by storm! :) (Update: No judgement does not mean that if you are married, living with your current girlfriend or living with an "ex"girlfriend that I will date you. Just because I don't judge you, doesn't mean that I will date you.)
Hobbies: I love dancing, writing and reading. I do sing professionally, but I absolutely love going to karaoke. Sometimes I like staying in, sometimes I like going out - I like to go with the flow. I really enjoy game nights, dinners (like group dinners where you get together with friends and chit chat) and trying new things.
My relationship attributes: I am creative, witty and supportive. I am a great listener and I love encouraging people to accomplish their dreams, but I have a practical nature, so I couple that encouragement with action plans to assist with successful outcomes. I don't fall for men easily, but once I feel mutual attraction and security, I have a lot to offer. I don't like blanket statements about men or women, but I'm going to make one. lol! I know that there are always exceptions. Generally, I think that men enjoy the chase, but don't savor the catch. No one has really caught me yet, but I know whoever does will be a lucky fellow. :) On the surface, I may seem aloof, but I am filled with passion and desire to share it with the right person. I'm independent and I have my own goals, but I am still able to follow and use my education and life experiences to help build or enhance the goals of my partner. In fact, I look forward to it. I am a great conversationalist and can pretty much blend into any social setting due to my very diverse upbringing. I talk a lot, but as I mentioned, I listen a lot too. I do have the tendency to keep my deepest thoughts to myself or those closest to me, but I think that is a needed defense mechanism.
- I like politics. I would love someone interested in them too, but it's not a huge deal to me if politics is not your thing. However, I need someone who has an awareness of well-known political figures and national events that have occurred.
- Arrogance: I absolutely can't deal with any man who is an "***hole" or who has "***hole like" qualities. I don't really think that the line between confidence and arrogance is that "fine". I love confident men. In fact, when I'm around them, I have to stop myself from smiling about the way they carry themselves. It's awesome and irresistible. Also, if it's a "turn on" for you to be with a woman who calls you out on your crap (yes, I've met those too), I'm not your match. I'd rather spend time complimenting my man's positive attributes, than criticizing his flaws.
- Meeting & The Phone: I can only entertain messaging back and forth for a brief amount of time. I like talking on the phone, but again, I can only do it so long with someone I've never met. In the back of my mind, I need to know that you are a real person with real teeth - I like nice teeth - so we have to meet or I tend to lose interest. I'm a Gemini. We do that. Also, I'm sort of a girls girl, so I literally have tons of female friends who will keep me on the phone for HOURS if I let them, so it's really hard to work someone new into the permanent rotation especially if we've never met.
- Pictures: My most recent pic is the one with me in the black dress. It's from Easter weekend. The one with me in the group and in the brown were both taken in November 2012. The last one was taken in August 2010. My point is that my look doesn't really change much. The pics I have posted are very representative of how I look. I am not a model, therefore I don't sit around and take pictures of myself. Please don't ask me to send you a picture of me. I won't. If you would like to see how I look outside of the pics that I have posted, we can meet up for coffee, dinner, drinks, or chess. Your choice. Also, don't ask me questions about my weight or size. I look how I look. Again, if you would like to know details, we can go out. I don't like talking about looks because I pride myself on my intelligence and charming personality, so while I know that looks are important for physical attraction, deep down I want to be with someone (attractive, lol, but really) who likes me for my mind, my actions and my pleasing personality, so talking about looks tends to be unsettling for me.
I would like something simple, thoughtful and scheduled. I know that it is somewhat of a cliché, but I really like going to dinner and/or coffee/drinks on a first date. I like doing that because it gives me a chance to find out more about the person I'm dating. At times it can be awkward, but it's really great when discovering a new person and listening to their life experiences.
Or, maybe we could go to a coffee house and play chess. If you beat me, I may fall in love with you forever and be a stalker, but chances are, you won't beat me. :)
Update (05/04/2013): Please don't invite me to your house or ask to come to my house before I've met you. Again, I'm not judging you or any other woman who does that, but I'm just not doing it, so please don't ask me. I won't explain why. It would be another novel. If it offends you that I would write that, then we're not a match. Who knows? You might not want me at your house. I could be a pick pocket! :)
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