I have tried being myself on here, apparently being a nice guy doesn't work...
So how bout this:
I'm a dirty old man.
Looking for a nice woman, whom i can treat like dirt.
If you have lots of money would be great, cuz i'd like to stop working and mooch off you for awhile, Might give me a chance to take up drinking full time. Maybe even look into trying some drugs.
You should have some hot friends, you know... for me to hit on.
I want you to talk to that guy who's "such a sweet guy, but you just wanna be friends with" about me, ****ing how i treat you so bad.
Might be a nice change of pace for me, instead of always being the sweet guy that listens to all these women complain about their man for years, yet do nothing to change it.
That's my rant. .... i think i actually feel a lil better.
I say Good Day!
We meet at a nice restaurant for dinner.. my credit card is declined so you have to pay.
We do it in the back of my van that night, immediately afterwards i drive right back to your car, telling you i have to meet the next woman in 15 mins and need to hit a bathroom to freshen up.