POF - I don't know how to say this, but we need to sit down and have a little talk.
I'm not too sure this is working for me - it's not me it's you. I think you misinterpreted my previous sarcastic profile: when I said I was asking for a psychotic stalker that would call me 65 times a day and bring up baby names within 2 messages I was actually using sarcasm - yet you sent me lots of girls like that.
One girl messaged me and told me that she had 2 kids and would consider renaming one after me if we dated. For serious.
I received numerous messages from girls who literally said "oh wow I'm just what you're looking for! I'm so excited! Ok what's your phone number, I want to call you!" .... do I need to enter the witness protection program in advance?
Listen POF, I understand that its difficult to find somebody's soulmate - heck it may even be impossible. But you told me you were up to the task when I signed up and you have fallen very short on your end of this bargain.
I'm from Toronto. Why do you keep matching me up with people in Barrie, St. Catherines, Peterborough, London and in one case - Ottawa. Really? Am I supposed to drive to Ottawa for a first date? Come on now.
I said I was looking for somebody funny, outgoing and social. You sent me people who couldn't even fill out their profiles and others who offered opening message gems such as: "Hey, sup" and "whatup" - Is this the level of effort that I am to expect of you POF?
I told you that I was well spoken, talented, ambitious, goal driven and very able to take care of myself. You sent my way: a video game addict, a drug peddler, numerous people who were "too busy" to actually meet up in person but wouldn't stop calling or texting me, a person that called 8x a day including at 1am, a girl who thought vampires not only exist but that she WAS one, a 54 year old woman using her daughters pictures and - of course the best for last - a girl who admitted right away that she used to be a dude. Did the circus sign up for your services, too?
I even went out on a few first dates to give some better matching candidates a true try. POF do you KNOW what it's like to sit through dinner or drinks in near silence, regardless of how much conversation you try to dredge up?! Even better have you had to sit through 2 hours of non-stop one-sided conversation about somebody's ex? Have you felt the shock of meeting somebody who clearly looked different than their photos? Remember the girl that just wanted a free dinner? Or how about the girl who showed up 45 minutes late for a coffee at Starbucks and tried to order a martini - at 3pm on a Sunday. Classy, POF. Very classy.
I tell you I'm an educated gentleman with a bad side and you give me one self-absorbed narcissist with compulsive lying syndrome after another. I realize I'm not doing this the old fashioned way, but I'd still like somebody with a *few* old-fashioned values.
POF - I'm going to make this clear to you... this needs to improve - quick. I have simple needs - I want a funny, goal driven girl with ambitions, updated photos, a great smile and something more to offer me than just good looks. I don't need a soulmate or a bride to be - I'll take care of the details of a budding romance on my own thank you- but I am simply asking for a fully functioning human being who makes me laugh and makes me want to spend every minute with them.
I didn't think that was too much to ask for in the first place - but it's becoming increasingly obvious that perhaps it was more than you bargained for, POF. Let's step it up, shall we?