Test: If you read this and you don't find any of it funny, I wish you well in finding the one for you. If you find yourself laughing, write me back. You get me and that's a pretty good warning...I mean sign.
I wrote each part of this piece by piece. It started with a few sentences and grew into the endless ramble you see below.
If I have looked at your profile and you're checking me out, don't worry if I didn't get in touch with you. Of course, you are beautiful. That's not at all the reason I passed. It might have been something I found in your profile that disqualified me. I take that serious. If a lady doesn't like bald people or tattoos, if she doesn't drink or has a problem with facial hair, any number of things, I walk away and wish you good luck. There are plenty of people on this site. I don't have to force myself onto someone thinking you'll get to like me. If it's important to you, it's in your profile.
I just realized how out of date my profile was. So, I have to put a whole bunch of new stuff in here. I am the author of A River in the Ocean. It was just released this year (uh, last year). I write screenplays too. But mainly, I spend my days writing. Because, that's what writers do. So...
The most important fact about me is I am the proud father of a wonderful daughter. She is the light of my life. If that's a deal breaker, great! It makes it easier for both of us.
Some of you aren't really being honest. You should go back and take a look at your profile. Try to be more honest. If you make a list of things you want in a guy and it matches me, I'm going to write you. Write back! If you don't mean those things, they shouldn't be on your profile.
All I'm going to want to do is talk and get to know you. I have the uncanny ability to be totally honest with people. If I don't think we're going to work, I will let you know. If you feel it's not going to work, don't hesitate. I won't act like an immature moron. In fact, if anything, you might have made a friend for life because I'll admire your honesty. So, give me your phone number already damnit! What's a guy got to do?
Anyway if you'd like to talk, I look forward to hearing from you...
First dates are for talking and making that first impression. But, they are also that first chance to absolutely blow someone's mind. Although, a dinner and a walk might be more goal oriented. I don't believe in limiting myself to anything and I think you can get to know just as much about a person through their interests as you can through just what they have to say.