To start, I am not on POF frequently so I may not respond quickly.
Welcome to my profile!
If you are looking for a "sweet, nice" girl who is "pretty" then I encourage you to move on! I have opinions, I am engaging and I love the obstacles that build something great! If you don't have it in you then don't waste my time or yours. I live in reality and am tired of being approached by men who want women to sit still and look pretty. That's not me. I will however heat things up so much that our vulnerability together could take us to places that you did not think existed!
I know that I need a man with self esteem. I think this is really hard to find but would rather be alone than with someone who lacks this. I know we all have insecurities and that is normal however it would be great if you could laugh at them. I am interested in a man ages 38-55 and hope that by this time he has grown enough to have done this work and is self aware If you live in a bubble and want to stay in denial then I'm not your girl. If you have a big ego, a need to put others down, arrogance, extrinsically motivated, materialistic, possessive, black n white thinker or closed off then you probably have low self esteem. I am spelling this out in case it is unclear to you.
If you have an abundance mentality and are open to friendship first and desire growth then we may be a fit.
I like a man who is self motivated. He can't be motivated by money, pressure or me. He must love himself and honor himself.
Please don't contact me to try to sell yourself because I will most likely see through it.
I was married for almost 12 years. It is from that experience that I began to look inside and grow. I also became the open minded, introspective person that I am today! I realize that this growth has not ended and will be ongoing.
I am attracted to a man who is also open minded, wants to grow and who does not put people in "boxes". He must be honest, humble and willing to share with me. I accept the good and the bad and hope that he will do the same.
I am a people person, always wanting to learn, share and connect. Over the past few years I have found that alone time is necessary for me. I love people but need to be with just me to recharge and process my thoughts.
People tell me I am very unique, as I have lived on the East Coast, Midwest and the past 15 years here in Cali. You can't stereotype me, as I will surprise you again and again.
I am interested in someone who has a passion for either their career, a hobby or a purpose. Living a stagnant life is not attractive to me. There is so much to learn and experience in our short time here. If he has too much time then he something is holding him back.
I have a few passions and my first was dance.
I danced daily since I was about 8 with the help of many wonderful mentors. Dance kept me out of trouble! I understand now that dance was, and still can be, a healthy escape or way to connect to my core self. I was fortunate to have a professional dance career of over 20 years.
I am also [passionate about my career as a Health and Fitness Coach for people in transition. Here I get to apply most of my skills and talents.
Personally I really enjoy spending time with friends over tea or cooking. I enjoy movies, making jewelry, reading, flea markets, mentoring, designing fashion or assisting photographers as a stylist. I also like travel, camping, biking, hiking and playing games. People watching and observing human behavior fascinates me! My partner does not have to share the same interests as me. He should live an active and healthy lifestyle. (I am only attracted to athletic body types.) I will support him and I hope that he will support me through encouragement. I am looking for an interdependent relationship.
My family is on the East Coast. I visit them about every 3 months. I have traveled all over the US many times including a cross-country RV trip in 2009. I am looking to travel internationally.
I have accomplished many of my goals. I am content being alone but ideally I would like to find a long-term companion to enjoy life with. I am definitely looking for that special connection. Having a partner is an option NOT a requirement. I am interested in finding THE guy not a guy. I get really tired of people asking me why I do not have a boyfriend. I hope that this mentality ends for our younger generations. I am not interested in marriage but am not completely closed off to it. Until then I hope to date, make new friends and learn new things. I believe life is a journey so I will try to take something positive away from every encounter and experience. I have a great life with great friends and family therefore this person that becomes my companion will be very special.
My personality is relaxed and I can go with the flow. I am a leader but can easily follow. I do not have much understanding for a "wishy washy personality". I once was very anxious and uptight and learned to let go and enjoy life more. I like being surrounded by art and color. I have a large music collection that I play frequently. I like most styles except country and heavy metal. It is important that my partner enjoys music.
WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR
I am looking for emotional intelligence, some creativity, someone who is expressive and kind to others. I need a strong physical connection. I am usually attracted to men close to my age who have an athletic build. It is very important that he has healthy habits with his diet and exercise routines. I am physically fit and work in health & fitness. There is no flexibility here for me so please do not contact me unless you live life with a general healthy lifestyle. Obsessive dieting and exercise is not attractive to me either. If it is a lifestyle then it need not be obsessed.
Most important, he should be honest and resilient. Life has many challenges so a positive attitude and strong work ethic when things don't work out as planned is key!
It is important that he does not see people in a hierarchy based on career, income, ethnicity, sexuality etc. Treating all people with respect shows a person with integrity and self esteem! I am not attracted to men who follow the crowd and are concerned about fitting in or care about what others think. I have noticed that a lot of guys are posting photos of them in their beds..what's up with that? Please don't contact me for a hook-up.
Last I am really tired of guys who choose to live in a bubble. To me this means they lack experience and prefer to feel safe than to deal with obstacles, disagreements etc... In my opinion this leads to unhappiness at some point. Denial leads to destructive and possibly addictive behavior.
My first date would follow a phone conversation and would be more like a casual meeting. I am practical and like to get to know someone. I would like to go somewhere where we can talk and see how things flow. I am open to developing friendships should we agree to go in that direction. I also think that starting with friendship that progresses is cool.
If there is a mutual interest..maybe grab some dinner...dancing? I also think that going dutch is appropriate with online initial dating.