I just turned 31 years old and I decided to date with a purpose and take it seriously. I'm over going out with guys that aren't a good fit for me. I've dated for fun for so long and have nothing to show for it but to expect the worst from men. It would be great if I found a real man not a boy trapped in a man's body. I'm looking for a nice kind man that knows what he wants and ready to take the next step. I'm looking for a man that knows how to treat a lady. It would be great to date a guy that also understands white privilege to understand things better. I only say that because in society people are treated differently based on the color of their skin. My skin is not white so I am not treated the same as a white women. I know you're thinking what does that have to do with anything. Well dating is different if someone asks me out I can't always come out and say no I might get hit or worst. I'm looking for a serious relationship but I don't want to hangout with your family. I'm kid friendly and kids tend to like me. I'm not really into the let's date for years thing a month or 2 to see if it works if not let's move on to other people I am too old to wait around. I'm not looking to get married at the moment but looking for a serious enough relationship if we go away for the weekend it's an option in the future, I'm not looking to get married I have commitment issues. I don't like to talk about relationships and things. Romantic things are nice but awkward. I'm kind of a big nerd looking for a nerd mate.
I'm currently having fun working as a teacher learning a lot. I work as a substitute teacher, a para educator or an assistant teacher it changes daily. Also I work as a case manager for people with disabilities. I have so much fun doing that. If you didn't realize I love helping people. I work close to home which is Sonoma after living all over Marin for 20 years. I work all over the Bay Area. I work with a lot of under privileged and impoverished children. I work in the areas you probably don't want to go to. In my free time I like to learn and I take a lot of classes.
I love being creative. In my free time I like to spend time in my garden or exploring something new. I like to ride trains. I'm a big Marvel and DC fan I like some Animé as well.
If you send me a message and I don’t respond don’t constantly send me messages. I’m probably not interested. I'm looking for someone that won't turn violent if I say no. I want to find someone to date that won't get mad and stalk me and call me and act crazy and follow me. I am looking for a sane man I know it's rare. I want to meet a nice guy I can date and not have to call the cops and go to court, move change my name and quit my job. I know you're reading this thinking what guy does this I say about 95% of the guys I dated. I'm not looking for anyone fresh out of jail. No gold teeth, kids, tattoos, etc.... I just don't want to be stalked for the next decade. I freely admit I have paranoid issues it's better to admit it up front. I don't really like being asked out that is scary getting asked out turns into getting jumped or cussed out. From what I understand of white privilege it's safer to say no to a guy and not get beat down. I'm not saying a man of a certain race does these things men of all races do these things. I date men of all races. I even did some research if this was something rare that happens and it's actually very common thing to happen to black women. I'm actually mixed but it makes people feel better if I refer to myself as black since I have one drop and that rule still applies today.
If you're wondering about my comments about white privilege I have heard of it before but just really learned about it last week. I have discussed this topic with my friends who are white women or appear to be white and they don't get hit, cussed out or stalked. If I was white I would get treated better probably. If you're wondering who I date mainly Asian, Caucasian and North African men.
Things I am looking for in a man:
?He’s a gentleman - You must always be respectful, chivalrous,polite and honorable at all times.
?He’s direct: Be straight forward and not hurtful
?He’s faithful: Don’t cheap in any way.
?He has integrity: Live up to your morals and beliefs.
?He’s honest: Don’t lie and say you don’t lie. I want you to lie to me if it will make me feel better.
?He’s mature: Be a well rounded person fully grown ready for manly responsibilities.
?He’s self-confident: Be confident but not overly confident can’t be wrong.
?He has a positive attitude: Always look on the bright side but not overly happy. Find a positive know matter how small it is.
?Good grooming: Shower at least every other day shave, use soap, don’t stink, not over
?Be assertive in your behavior: Sometimes I want you to man up to me but not always. Never hurt my feelings.
?Charming personality: Just be a great person and lovable.
?Have a good sense of humor: Make me laugh. Don’t be the class clown.
?A man who’s not a pushover: Don’t let anyone walk over you except me sometimes.
?A good job and a nice salary: Don’t ask me for money and have free time.Don’t live in a scary area.
?A man who’s respected by others: I want a man others look up to for all the right reasons.
?A man who looks good: I don’t care how big or small you just look nice.
?A good conversationalist: Don’t put me to sleep.
?Respectful behavior: Always open doors, pay, say please and thank you. Treat all people equally.
?An alpha male: Be a leader but know when to back down and ask for help.
?Make me feel comfortable in her skin: Always be nice if I say something offer to help never tell me what I need to do.
?A compatible personality: Have things in common be able to understand me and if you don’t just say it.
?shares same interests as me: things I like: drawing, painting, gardening, hiking, long walks, music, quiet, movies, playing music badly, shopping,coloring,cooking, sewing, knitting,traveling, trains, some boats, some animals,vegan, vegetarian, filming life, etc.....
?Humble: Never think you’re better than someone but never bow down either. Stay modest buy a Toyota, Nissan or Honda even if you can afford a BMW. Don’t be flashy but don’t come off as broke either driving something from the ninety’s.
?Kind: Always help others and give back to society.
?Selfless: Help others without thinking of how it will help you.
?Patient: Stay calm and be able to wait around without getting mad or complaining.
?Courageous: Stand up for what’s right but stay safe and know the time and place.
?Gentle: Don’t be rough.
?Diligent: Show you care about what you do but don’t be OCD about it.
?Perseverance: Whatever you do stick to it and don’t give up if it’s a real passion.
?Devotion: Show devotion to something other than sports or thing.
A nice walk in the park talking and maybe a ice cream cone.
I’m looking for a nice first date that doesn’t turn violent. I’m looking for someone that won’t do the following slap me in the face, lick my face, punch me any where. I’m not looking to be abused just looking for a nice guy to go on a date with. If you, pay don’t expect anything in return the turn violent and hold me down or hit me. I’m look for a fear free date. I’m willing to go out with anyone that peaks my interest that won’t stalk me. I’m only interested in dates at a public places. I don't go to movies on dates anymore after I was slapped in the face by a date for watching a movie. I don't sit in cars for so many reason mainly I don't like to get slapped in the head or or have my head slammed on the dashboard.