I am 90 percent water. I have an uncontrollable urge to blink every few seconds. I usually wear shoes. Coffee acts as a stimulant on me. I once walked on water in subzero temperatures. I was born a stick figure. Sometimes, late at night, when no one is around, I sleep. Things are what you make them. Things are chocolate.
But seriously folks...
I voted for Obama, definitely not a conservative, artistic, creative, loyal, very affectionate (it is like oxygen to me), love to communicate, write, read, play guitar, and there nothing like looking deeply into each other's eyes. Finally, there is nothing better than long deep passionate kisses. Okay, time for a cold shower.
Please tip your wait staff...I'll be here all week...ba da BOOM!
*Here is a list of 39 things about me (because I like uneven numbers):
1. I love black licorice.
2. I love red wine.
3. I hate narcissists (because it's all about ME!).
4. I love public displays of affection, as a spectator or a participant.
5. I love Peet's coffee.
6. I have never voted for a Republican.
7. I think 'down time' is underrated.
8. I think common sense if often based on ignorance.
9. I think we are all racist, no exceptions.
10. I detest cheap people.
11. I believe 'unconditional love' is something you may get from your parents, if you are fortunate, otherwise it is nothing but an ideal.
12. I believe every relationship is fragile and will wither away if left untended.
13. I believe sex is the glue of any marriage. It is the barometer of where it stands. If the sex is happening and is good, the relationship is good. If not...
14. I am anatomically correct.
15. I was expelled from High School in Burlington, Iowa for wearing a “Schlitz…Breakfast of Champions” t-shirt.
16. I went to college.
17. I write. I write in many forms. I also write poetry.
18. I can’t stand to be around cigarette smoke.
19. I have ADHD and didn’t realize it for over 50 years. Self diagnosed and very high functioning. I see it as a feature.
20. I probably love sex more than you do.
21. I own a lockable male chastity device, but never wear it. Want me to hand you the key for some tease and denial? Intrigued?
22. I am fascinated by eroticism of spanking; giving or receiving. I love the connection and intimacy that comes from that level of trust and vulnerability. Bonus points if you feel the same way or wish to explore this. I also have developed, new thing for me, a fascination and love of the female foot. May I bow before you to worship, kiss and suck Your toes Madame?
23. I think people who are going through a mid-life crisis are some of the most interesting people out there. They are in the process of waking up and they love to share what they are seeing.
24. I think ambitious, career and agenda-oriented people are some of the most boring, predictable people out there.
25. I know the difference between to, too and two.
26. Whenever I meet someone who is about to get married, I have to hold my tongue. I want to tell them the truth, but I congratulate them instead. They are in love and don’t want to hear the truth. Let them enjoy it while they can.
27. I wonder what skeletons are in Dr. Phil’s closet.
28. I think George W. Bush is the worst president in my lifetime, and possibly all lifetimes.
29. I think Oprah ripped off Phil Donohue and became more popular, not unlike VHS beating out Beta or Windows beating out MacIntosh.
30. If I were to win the lottery, I would still keep my Honda Element.
31. I was raised in a strict Pentecostal household with a mother who spoke in tongues. To this day, I cannot be a part of any organized religion.
32. I don’t think God should only bless America. I think he should bless all countries, the entire earth.
33. I don’t believe if Jesus were alive today he would be a Republican. He was not about embracing the status quo. He preached love and mercy, helping the sick and poor. These are not Republican ideals.
34. I wonder about how if we are seeing everything upside down (the lens in our eyes do this we are told), then what does the world really look like? Are we really inside a sphere instead of outside? The possibilities are endless.
35. I love high tech gadgets.
36. I love conversation.
37. I prefer the American version of the TV show “The Office” over the UK version.
38. I believe determination will get you further than intelligence (i.e. George W. Bush).
39. I don’t think blindly following a president is patriotism.
A date is spending pleasant time together. That includes many options. Coffee is a safe start. Lunch. A walk in the park or along the beach. Dinner is nice, a Sunday drive, a festival, a movie, time to talk and communicate, get to know each other.
OK, due to popular demand, more facts about me number 43 through 68:
43. I hated my childhood. I am amazed I survived without being locked up.
44. I am a middle child.
45. I think life is already complicated enough. The trick is to embrace simplicity whenever possible.
46. I believe everyone is capable of immense cruelty and betrayal as well as a deep sense of humanity and compassion.
47. I believe when we are healthy, we are loving, supportive people. When we are anything but that, we are not well.
48. I flunked high school speech because I was too shy to speak in front of the class. Later in life I spent 12 years as a professional standup comic, therefore making my living on public speaking.
49. I love coastal towns.
50. I believe everyone has a genius lurking somewhere inside of them.
51. Some day I want to own a vintage VW van.
52. I used to have red hair. I was 40 years old before I realized it had gradually turned brown.
53. I brush my teeth first thing in the morning, before I have breakfast or coffee, and the last thing at night. I never get cavities.
54. I believe the opposite of love is not hate but selfishness.
55. I am in denial about my denial and it works for me.
56. I hate futons.
57. I hate yard work.
58. I think Starbuck’s coffee is vastly overrated; it is above average at best.
59. I think baseball caps look ridiculous on most people.
60. I hated disco in the seventies, but I like it now. Sentimentality for a happier era of my life? Perhaps.
61. I love the writing of Charles Bukowski.
62. I love the writing of Jack Kerouac. I think his own life is as interesting as his work. He is the prime mover of what we all consider to be hip. He wore jeans in a time where wearing jeans was snubbed as lower working class clothing. He was one of the first to record jazz poetry. He hung out at coffee houses long before there was a Starbuck’s. His writing opened it all up for those who followed. He broke the rules and created a new standard.
63. I think the Beatniks were hipper than the hippies.
64. First I was a hippie. Years later I was a beatnik. I worked backwards in time in self discovery.
65. I like to spend time alone. I enjoy my company.
66. I love dogs. I miss my dog, Bojangles. When Milo passes, I will be inconsolably sad. I would hope to not get another dog when Milo passes because the grief is unbearable.
67. When I love, I love all the way.
68. I am very physical and affectionate. b