This profile is always a work in progress, thus it reflects some non-cohesion, because it evolves every few months or so. I apologize, but I can't clean the slate and start over, too tedious. I appreciate you just sifting through it and pulling out key emotions which resonate with you and motivate you to contact me.
"To love a person is to learn the song that is in their heart and to sing it to them when they have forgotten" Arne Garborg
If you understand this, you get me, but if you want more reading, proceed....
First watch this clip of the "dating" scene from The Wedding Crashers, which is hilarious and should put a smile on your face!
I am attempting to attract a man who is "ready" for a relationship of love story proportions. I had them before, fate determined I need to find another. Truly guys,I desire meaning, intimacy and virtue- no lip service here, no BS.
I love psychology, and the human mind, what makes people tick-so if a gentleman has heard of Maslow, and his self-actualized model (I had to google it too, been a long time since my undergrad days) then there may be an understanding of my quest. If my partner is self-actualized in his own way, it will mean a relief from game playing, at this age, I truly do not have time, fun yes, games no. Joy from real sharing, and knowing it is the journey not the destination.
I've had the solitude (and dare I say loneliness) of time to read a book on how to profile and evaluate a man, so I can try to approach this another way, and really end my time on this site. The mystery still remains with whom I was meant to be with, whom I deserve.....after all it isn't "POF FOREVER". It is a numbers game, certainly, that gets said over and over, yet it is not my heart's desire to serial date and enjoy it.
I am not here to hurt anyone, and I ask psychopaths who I seem to attract, think before you message me. If you are insulted by that and have to send me a nasty note about that comment, it may be telling.
I seriously mean no harm, as I try my best not to do so to others, and I expect the same in return. There is a difference between just not having chemistry and being such a narcissist that rejection makes a guy a stalker; the scariest part of POF.
I ain't Marilyn by any means, but truthfully, she had a brain and so do I. I am weary of being looked at like some type of sex object, for it did not allow Marilyn to live a long, happy life.. Being in our 50s and 60s, time is no longer on our side, so I do sit with patience like a sailor waits for the wind. I am not going to be closed off to the wonder of life, including a soul mate. He does not complete me, no, for certain, my lover helps me with my completeness and I do his...simple!
Another clip of music, which often can put it so nicely by The Band Perry
I have to say I am impressed by the kind men who want to step in and be gentlemen. I am a whole person, and seek a sailor to stay my course and share in my completeness. I can truly sail, am addicted to the power of the wind, so if that is intimidating and you are looking for someone to do all the grunt work of sailing, move on. I am your first mate, the co-creator of our dreams. Remember the price is in the prize, and the wise wench would never invest blood and sweat in a boat that was not hers. I am amazed at the men who figure it is my place to instantly do upkeep work-bottom painting, varnish,etc. on their boat when he has not even committed to 3 dates, never mind a future. I keep having to adjust my sails on this profile so I do not attract players thinking they can play me as a fool.
Got your attention? Well, POF can be a mean and harmful site, so I guess my quest for spiritual chemistry is difficult, sadly. I am an adventurer who likes sport activities of many kinds, and peacefully and conscienciouly done, not with insanity or chemical dependency.
A further update....when dating gets exhausting, much like a man would, I have to decide between what brings me joy, and currently that is writing, writing. I have been accused of putting my writing before relationship, and I smile :), as that sounds a lot like men, honestly. I also know there exists a man out there, who will realize that my passion for writing equals my passion for sailing, and will understand if he can accept that it heightens my passion in the relationship. A liveaboard once told me a writer needs a lover, but that does not equal, empty one-night stands or friends with benefits. I do have time to date, have fun, go to movies, walk the beach, take motorcycle rides, enjoy activities, as that balances and soothes a tired writing brain. So step forward if you are able to be nourishing, and uplifting, but do not step forward if that sounds like too much work for you, because I want and need the man who is going to be my co-pilot, and I his. I want him to share a glass of wine with or snuggle with at the end of a book discussion in any city I go, I want him to be there to plan a respite sail, etc. I got enough stifling and "no"s in my one marriage, it is a time for the word "sure", or "let's go".
I am disenchanted by men who seek to have arm candy, be non-committal to a future, want the hedonism of the present, and heck, are not going to share stuff" they have. I have not collected heads of men to hang on my wall, and I would rather not be a trophy, or better yet decapitated from despair. I am more human than that, we both want to "bleed". To hear one player tell me he was "in" love with himself, and can be satisfied with his things, i.e. house, corvette, and 60 inch TV. It is a simple matter now that I've regrouped, I want a man in my life morning, and night, and perhaps noon, if we share my passion for sailing. I have missed the ocean and the waves, so I will seek the Florida locale that gives me beach access in a few minutes. I can continue to walk along beaches alone, but I already know, it feels so much better with someone there along side of me, holding my hand. I once knew that kind of love, the man with his arm around you as you stood at the helm together, a man shadowing your steps on the beach collecting shells as he trolled in his dinghy with a fishing rod. A man just giving me the helm because he liked to see me smile. I found more romance on a sailboat watching a movie together, in an embrace, on a settee, than any living room with separate furniture and big TVs.
I have dreamed of sailing to Key West or Mexico if I live in Florida, as this is the best vantage point for that, but after years of this hearts desire, I am resolved it may not happen, too many happy hours or even more, things to watch on TV....arrgghh. I have sailed many of the 50 places to sail before you die, and Key
Tea, Panera, Picnics, Pizza,Oysters, Beaches, etc. and if it seems right, a walk- let the conversation decide the amount of time.
Truly, a date amounts to nothing, and a waste of my time, if the divorced man is playing games because he is:
A commitment phoebe
Still hung up on his ex-wife or partner, or better yet still co-habitating
Not emotionally available and relationship ready, unless it is friends with benefits
Running away from responsibility (maybe that's why some came to Florida)
A complete loser
Secretly hiding a dark or sinister past, or I have learned, present
Playing the field
Just out for a good time, despite what he's told you
Let's be honest with ourselves, after relationships have ended, are we better or bitter?