Legolas Greenleaf: No batteries needed!
About
Non-smoker with Average body type
City
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Details
42 year old Man, 5' 7" (170cm), Christian - other
Ethnicity
Caucasian Aquarius with Brown hair
Intent
Legolas Greenleaf Actively seeking a relationship
Education
Some college
Personality
Class Clown
Profession
Nurse


dating
May the 4th be with you!






I am Seeking a Woman For Dating
Needs Test Not Completed Chemistry Not Completed
Do you drink? I do not drink Do you want children? Undecided
Marital Status Divorced Do you do drugs? No
Pets Other Eye Color Hazel
Do you have a car? Yes Do you have children? Yes
Longest Relationship Over 10 years
Second Language Other  



About Me
“Who knows how to make love stay?


Tell love you are going to the Junior's Deli on Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn to pick up a cheesecake, and if love stays, it can have half. It will stay.

Tell love you want a momento of it and obtain a lock of its hair. Burn the hair in a dime-store incense burner with yin/yang symbols on three sides. Face southwest. Talk fast over the burning hair in a convincingly exotic language. Remove the ashes of the burnt hair and use them to paint a mustache on your face. Find love. Tell it you are someone new. It will stay.

Wake love up in the middle of the night. Tell it the world is on fire. Dash to the bedroom window and pee out of it. Casually return to bed and assure love that everything is going to be all right. Fall asleep. Love will be there in the morning.” -Tom Robbins

A little about me… hmmm. Well after reading hundreds of profiles, one common desired quality people are seeking is a sense of humor. Call me cynical, but I’ve never met anyone that didn’t have a sense of humor, or was allergic to laughter -that would be a complete dial tone in my book. Another common thing that I see in your ladies' profiles is that you all want someone that can make you laugh - I seriously do not see an ability of a man that can make you laugh have any value even close to the value of two people being able to laugh together, especially at those cute little inside jokes that can get created over time between a couple. If you are not laughing, you're not living, and a couple that laughs together, stays together. So for what exactly tickles my funny bone… Dane Cook, Robin Williams, Ron White, Peter Griffin, Meatwad, Alton Brown, and Kosmo Kramer are some of my favorite nutcases. David Duchovney in Californication and Mary Louise Parker(total babe)in Weeds are both Top shelf shows. Joe Rogan is very funny mofo.The slapstick of Tom & Jerry cracks me up and the Three Stooges. Bugs Bunny is Timeless. Foster's House of Imaginary friends is A+. I appreciate the deadpan humor of Stephen Wright or Mandy from the “Grim adventures of Billy & Mandy”. A few movies that have a permanent place in my library of dark humor include Fight Club, Train spotting, The world according to Garp, Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, Lemony Snickets and Finding Nemo. Also Forest Gump, Boondock Saints, Donnie Darko, Momento, Stranger than Fiction, and Dead poets Society are amidst my all time faves.

It seems to me most everyone likes music too. I have a bit of an eclectic taste in that department. Tool just never gets old. Also Opeth, Type O Negative (a little hooch on the ground for my man Peter Steele - Rest In Peace, my friend), The Doors, Metallica, Carl Orff, Wagner, Leo Kotke, A Perfect Circle, Peter Gabriel, lifelong member of the KISS Army, Jane’s Addiction, NIN, the Chili Peppers, Evergrey, Killswitch Engage, Miles Davis and John Coletrane, Pink Floyd, Robert Johnson, Eric Clapton, Nirvana, The Church, GnR, Velvet Underground, John Spencer Blues Explosion, Neutral Milk Hotel, Dead Kennedys, The Melvins, Talking Heads, Moonspell, Yes, Supertramp, The Beatles, Queen, New Model Army, Motley Crue, Sabbath, Dio, Tones on Tail, R.E.M., Joe Satriani, Neil Young, Beastie Boys, Bowie, Beck, Flaming Lips, Danzig, Brian Setzer orchestr...no particular order.

Enough about what I like, I am a single parent and I love my kids and the time I have with them. Until kids started coming along, I thought I knew what love was. I know without doubt now, and I know it can happen at first sight. I don’t believe I mold my kids, I believe I unfold them. I would describe my parenting style as authoritative, versus authoritarian, passive or democratic. My kids' having a happy childhood is something I an passionate about. I have a strong preference toward single Mom’s; they just “get it”.

After more than a few attempts, as of this writing, I have successfully quit smoking now for 5 years, 6 months, 26 days, 12 hours and 30 minutes… roughly. I would gravitate more towards being with a woman that is a non-smoker or a desire to quit (to which I would offer my compassionate, emphatic understanding and support. Yeah, it’s a bitc# to quit!) But I have no sort of rigid intolerance to smokers.

I am eating an elephant a bite at a time at to expand my credentials, opportunities, and skill set in my profession. I'm in no hurry; it's not a race to the finish for me. I thoroughly enjoy taking the fun electives along the way just for the sake of wanting to learn something new. Education is probably a more or less permanent aspect of my life; I will always be a student in some capacity.

One little thing or two about you; I don't restrict myself to looking for any narrow "type" of woman as far as looks go, or race for that matter. Women can do pretty much anything with their hair, makeup and dress, etc. and be desirable. Plain as paper or a Suicide Girl, and everything in between, the female form is fascinating. Breasts - even if you think they are too small, and it is something you are self conscious about, if they are real, then they are perfect in my book. If they are extremely large, and they are implants, sorry, not interested. Body types are wonderfully varied, small and dainty like a delicate lotus, vivacious and curvy like a mermaid, toned and athletic like a tiger, even a few extra pounds can be ok, if it's an honest "few". Obesity is a health epidemic, not a body type. Generally speaking, I tend to think that cute trumps gorgeous. If you are a perfect 10, and have nothing else going for, sorry, but I am not interested... in anything more than a fleeting night or two with you. Brains are sexy! I cringe every time I see written in a profile "I am an independent women" - laugh out frigging loud! I do admire the quality of independence in a woman though, but at the same time, not to the extreme that it becomes wrong for me to hold the door for you; chivalry is not dead, but it is on life support. An ability to know yourself enough to convey a good idea of who you are in a profile that is a little broader than "I like to have fun, and laugh..." um yeah, my 3rd grader can do better than that. That little optical illusion you uploaded, and gets you inundated with messages does not stand alone, it needs something of substance, written in your own words to complete the idea.

“Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won't adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words "make" and "stay" become inappropriate. My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free.” -Tom Robbins

First Date
“When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.” -Tom Robbins

"Everyone can make a difference, and everyone should try." - JFK

"Trust yourself; you know more than you think you know." - Mr. Spock

"No act of kindness, no matter how small, ever goes wasted." - Aesop

"Do one thing every day that scares you." - Elenore Roosevelt

"Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing." - Theodore Roosevelt

First Date
I hear Philly beckoning! Let’s make a day of it and start out exploring a museum. The Museum of Art would be cool, or the Mutters Museum. Next, let’s find one of those pottery places, where you get some instruction and clay to play with on a wheel. Then you get to paint your piece and take it home with you. A quick bite to eat somewhere, and then we could go take a dance class. Waltz, tango, or I think swing sounds like the most fun. I think its funny how I could come up with something like this as an idea for a date considering how anytime I find myself in a club or whatever, I’m a total wallflower, but I'm very open to trying new things - you only live once.

That sounds like a fantastic idea for a first date to me, but in reality it probably won’t happen like that. A first date would be really simple and friendly, to see if there is real chemistry there, leading us to a second date. It could be meeting at Borders for some browsing, so we can get to know each others interests and have some coffee. The park would be nice. A walk around town, or a mall to “people watch”, or even meeting up at a laundromat to do something as mundane that, but being able to just talk - if there is one thing I learned from the train-wreck of a first marriage I was a party to, is to marry someone you enjoy talking to, because at some point, that is all might have to work with. Besides, if you can do something like that and have fun together doing it, you are already headed in the right direction.

A second date, well it all really depends on a number of different variables, mostly who I’m with. We could go to horseback riding. I remember a place in Denver I went to a few times when I was much younger that had trained horses that knew the trails and you could ride the horses for hourly rates. Chuck E. Cheese, ice skating, Lancaster ghost tour, roller skating (kinda corny, but meh, it’s more about the “who”, than the “what”)


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