****please NO MORE FLAKES!! dont ask me to cam..dont ask for nude pix..and stop sending me pix of your jizz syringe 8====D~~~
Thank you for reading my ALL about me. I am vertically and metabolically challenged. (Not sure if thats even a word) so if youre not a BBW admirer, or youre going to bust a testicle because I use prepositions at the end of my sentences, then sadly, Im not the one for you. How big am I? I can still bend over and tie my shoes, and I can still see my feet. Otherwise, Im not your typical fat chick, as I dont sit around watching Oprah and eating bon bons all day long. I play softball for Luke AFB womens varsity team and a couple of coed teams and Ive even played on a professional womens football league (yes, full contact.) I like to get out and do anything that wont get me arrested, even then, if I can get arrested, Id think about it depending on whos getting arrested with me! Its really hard to sum me up in a brief synopsis because im more than just a paragraph. Im a very likeable person, dont confuse that with "LICKABLE" unless youre hot and buff, then you can misconstrue that anyway youd like! lol..Just so you know, Im disease and drug free, dont drink or smoke,not missing any limbs, Im ALL woman and dont have a criminal past, so if youre looking for someone that hasnt filmed any Jerry Springer episodes then Im fat and single and ready to mingle so lets have some fun fun fun before daddy takes the t~bird away!!
btw...I REALLY DONT WORK AT WALMART!!!! which reminds me, Im not a very materialistic person. I dont care who you are, whether youre a CEO or a rodeo clown and certainly dont care how big your doohickey is...or isnt..JUST be yourself!!
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
Hmmm..what would I do for a first date..I think it would be easier to ask what wouldnt I do! Ideally, id like to go on a secluded tropical island with my perfect match! ah hell, who am I kidding, my luck my perfect match would set me ablaze and burn me into a crisp! LOL.. Im up to almost anything! Just dont be into weird fetishes as I wont be setting myself ablaze or wear diapers for you on our first Meeting/date, maybe second, depending on how charming you are! tee hee. I can be pretty spontaneous so packing up and going out of town for the weekend isnt uncommon. I love to travel especially If I can travel with that special someone! How about it eh? Lets go to the beach! watcha waitin for??? hope to hear from you soon..PS..as much as im an equal opportunist flirt, please do NOT email me saying you GoTS to get me some of that or you would look great as a piece of my bedroom furniture...there are 900# for that. Another thing, just because I posted risque pictures, please dont assume Im an easy target for your meat stick! Im very very selective with men so please stop with all the emails telling me what youd do to some of my body parts and vice versa..Sheesh..especially saying all that without even saying hi!! come on..dont be rude..on a lighter note, id really like to meet the guy that answers yes to "DO YOU DO DRUGS!!???" (i dont do drugs either just bein a smart@ss..
**MY OWN DO NOT CONTACT ME IF LIST**
IF your nickname can be SASQUATCH or CHEWBACCA..eeek..sorry..the last thing i wanna do is be kissing on ya and flossing my teeth at the same time..
IF YOURE BI OR BI CURIOUS..if i wanted to be with a b!tch, id date a lesbian
IF I CAN SEE EYE LEVEL WITH YOU..i cant do keebler elves..if i cant reach something in the cupboards, thats where youll come in. IM A PYGMY myself..help me out here would ya?
IF YOU APPROACH ME WITH EBONICS CRAP AND CANT SPELL OR FORMULATE SENTENCES..den u b gone! caveman era was over with years ago..get with the times..or invest in a Rosetta Stone CD called the english language..
IF YOU HAVE MORE BAGGAGE THAN SKY HARBOR..i can deal with a little..just not someone that has more than me..i have little to NONE..
IF YOURE GOING TO SEND ME AN EMAIL SAYING nothing but: whats up..or hey ma..or whaddup mami..ill delete your email faster than a speeding ticket.
IF YOU SMOKE CIGARETTES: UGHHH..SELF EXPLANATORY...seriously have no interest in kissing someone that smokes..i might as well lick an ashtray..
IF MY LEG LOOKS LIKE IT WEIGHS MORE THAN YOU: sorry..i cant be with someone that im gonna break..
LAST BUT NOT LEAST: if youre expecting me to take a ride on your disco stick on our first date, beat it sh!tty. more than likely NOT gonna happen.
not tryin to be or sound b!tchy..just hopefully trying to eliminate excessive emails..im trying to go on a date here and some of these emails are time wasters..ughhh...;) se