Despite the extra limb growing out of my forehead, one leg three feet longer than the other, no personality, no job, and the occassional bed-wetting, I have a lot going for me. My "not so good looking" friends love having me around because...well, I lower the bar for them...and I really like doing nice things for them. They often tell me that I'm a lot brighter than I look but that is so not true. It's really difficult being arrogant with what he has given me but I manage...however he (his name is Ricky) is a really caring cellmate...but back to me. If I had to choose the most important thing to me, it would undoubtedly be my pet gator...after she took my left arm, I know she could have taken the others yet she didn't...so I know she really loves me (don't worry though, I still have my other two arms). Now I haven't been with a girl in a long, long time, but I'm hoping you can turn that around and rock my world...or at least shake it up like a coke can. If that doesn't work, do you do charity work or pro bono?
Well I'm kind of limited but here goes. When you arrive at the cell block, I think you'll really enjoy the homey atmosphere. Once they finish your strip search and while they are escorting you to the visiting booth, you will get to take in the plush decor and the pleasant greetings from some of my fellow inmates. And as you take in your first look of me, you will know...just how lucky you are. But don't worry...there's more. If you are good on our first date, I'll let you meet the rest of the gang when you come back for your second visit.
Ok...seriously, I just moved to MB (Oct '13) and would love someone to show me the sights and sounds of the area...provided you can get me back by curfew. And if anyone could provide info on any local soccer leagues or pickup games, I'd be forever in your debt.