There was a time I wrote a long profile .. Everything you needed to know and then some.. Grammar was excellent, writing engaging. Pulitzer aside, years on my efforts yielded nothing.. nada.. the old "you get what you pay for" axiom set in while fears of solitude played host.
Inbox flashed full -- matches, views, and favorites corroborated the deception while my hopes marched lower. Damn you online dating! Damn you!! I cried -- fist flailing passionately, fearful cleaning lady running for cover.
Down, but not out, I caught my composure, iced my shoulder and voilà, this appeared.. You see, just last week the Easter Bunny told me there's a smart woman destined to stumble onto my profile. That when she does, her simple effort will ignite a mellifluous chain reaction that'll be nothing short of magical. That was his word, mellifluous, spoken while wiping chocolate from his furry little mouth. He assured me if I could pen something witty and offbeat the right girl would see through the facade and we'd both be brilliantly rewarded. "Separate yourself from the noise," he said confidently. "she's looking for you too."
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
Our date will be great. But first you need to say hi.. that's it.. A quick hello to get the ball rolling. If I sense we're a match, will happily take it from there..