Noster populus facit discrepantiam.
"Our people make the difference."
Well hello there fellow dumpers, dumpees, dumplings. Thanks for stopping by. Like most of us, I seek that special best friend (in all her facets) and lover. Here, relax, have a seat, sit back and enjoy yourself. Is there anything I can get you? Can I pour you some chai tea? Or, if you prefer, perhaps some tai chi.
I'm an artist with a Ph.D. (Queen's U.) in clinical psychology, and though it would be easier to write an ad campaign for a new deodorant, here is a snapshot: creatively driven, versatile/adaptable, energetic, attractive, warm, highly playful with a keen sense of fun/wit, gentle, protective, supportive, very high in curiosity/imagination/life force. Non-boring, athletic, non-controlling (its a bore). I'd add earthy, spontaneous and nurturing. Fun and alive, am confident but not egotistical. Can play the class clown or fool easily if there is a good time to be had, and despite a highly responsible side, know there is a time and place for cultivated immaturity and acting *totally* out of character. Ageless and timeless. If I have any potential addictions, they'd probably be creative pursuits and making sweet love for hours with someone I really care about...and getting lost in improvisation on classical guitar or another instrument. Values constancy. No snob, I relate strongly to Picasso's quip, "I am an aristocrat who prefers to live as a peasant."
Its common knowledge, of course, that Jews don't drink. And there's a very simple reason why--because it dulls the pain.
As delicate as Vivaldi, and as tough as a Mack truck. Respects the boundaries of others and am an excellent confidante.
Financially well off, am a passionate, prolific and very successful contemporary jewelry/metal artist whose work in many materials (from traditional metals to magical high-tech ones like niobium/titanium) is featured in galleries and stores across Canada and the U.S. "Work" is pure play, and a micro-universe of constant exploration, invention and discovery/surprise.
Have also been a multi-instrumentalist musician who's played professionally for many years, having performed at most of the major folk festivals (Vancouver, Winnipeg, Edmonton, Calgary and numerous others) and a huge range of venues. Enjoy virtually all genres, with instruments including flute, accordion, greek bouzouki, violin and a few other great toys. Also seem to have a natural genius for putting t-shirts on backwards and, not uncommonly, twice in a row (even after analyzing the situation). Its one of life's great mysteries, like orphaned socks.
I have no "type" at all but you might be: smart, funny, attractive, trusting, creative, tolerant, playful, loyal, emotionally/sexually open and available, love your work and not financially borderline. Romantic but *not* hopeless, if "spiritual," not blindly obsessed. Independent, but not remote (it belongs with the t.v.). In the end, of course, the emotional connection is everything.
A Short Detour
For some sheer fun, levity and self-revelation, here are a few "testimonials" that came to me one magical night:
"Definitely knows how to treat a woman. He brought an Electrolux to the restaurant on our first date and asked if I could kindly do a sample of the carpet at our table. Said he wouldn't even *consider* a woman who couldn't use one."--Ashley T., Nunavik
"Definitely a breath of fresh air...not only is this candidate on the same plane with intelligent, attractive and balanced prospective mates, he's *also* at the same airport. Heartily recommended!"--The San Diego Post-Intelligencer
"He wasn't particularly comfortable in his own skin...but I was extremely impressed with how comfortable he was in mine."--Daphne R., The American Journal of Clinical Dermatology
"I laughed so hard I peed my pants And he was enough of a gentleman to have them dry cleaned for me."--Denise G., Omagod, Nebraska
"It was my best friend Chrissy who introduced us to each other, told me he was 'a really nice Jewish guy'. Then when we met I was pretty surprised and said, 'Wow, you know something, you don't look very Jewish.' He just smiled at me and said, 'Well honey...you wouldn't say that if you saw me in the shower.' And he was right."--Adrienne T., Torrance, California
"I thought I was meeting someone who had no baggage....and then he shows up at my door with an entire Samsonite luggage ensemble. Go figure..."--Desiree S., Decatur, Illinois
"A First Rate Mind...and the lovemaking was nothing to sneeze at."--Philosophic Review
"When I moved to B.C. I just loved clams--in fact, I was happy as one. Then he told me about a study finding that over 97% of them were actually clinically depressed. Apparently, they just won't open up. I switched to shrimp, never looked back."--Chris V., Tofuno, B.C.
"Before I met him I weighed 185 lbs. and was downing Twinkies on weekends like there was no tomorrow. I still weigh 185 lbs. but now I only eat Twinkies periodically during the week, we share them and I no longer give a d*mn!"--K.C., Far Rockaway
"Whether you're seriously into the dating scene, a casual browser, a tire-kicker, or just flakey, you will find great substance (without the abuse) here."--Berkeley Journal of Comparative Religions
"Rarely have we been so depressed by an individual...all smoke, no fire."--Consumer Reports
"I told him my religion was 'New Age' and that it was important that we should all "own" our feelings. Then he tells me he used to do that years ago, but now he prefers to lease them. Says he not only finds it much, much cheaper, but he also gets to write them off his taxes that way. That financial tip changed my life."--Alex H., Renton, Washington
"When I told him that he seemed very spontaneous, he laughed and said he often suffered from "premature articulation." Thank GOD it wasn't that other condition. I was so relieved."--Jennifer T., Racine, Wisconsin
"I told him I was an optometrist but at first he misunderstood me, saying he "also saw the glass half-full in life." Then said he'd dated an optometrist the year before, an interesting and unusual gal. Apparently, every time they made love she'd turn to him and ask, 'O.K., is this better or is this better? Alright...now is this better..or is this better?' Sweet!"--Isa Sorre, Sequim, Washington
"No home should be without one...this unit functioned so beautifully that we got rid of our t.v."--Mrs. Bob Vilas
"Not only was it a pleasure to meet him, it was an inconvenience. But I'd gladly do it again."--Carla W., Fort Whutzitworth, Texas
version 1: Avian Flew, or "go vegetarian next time."
Ah, the magic of new love. We meet at a nice, busy Italian restaurant and find a small, candlelit table in the corner. You order the Sangiovese, I order some Barolo. We smile at each other, basking in the intimacy. You decide to have the carbonara and I order the chicken cacciatore, and we agree to share. We sink back comfortably in our chairs, raise our wine glasses and warmly toast each other. Could life get any better?
Midway through the meal, a hidden chicken bone gets lodged in my throat and I start gagging uncontrollably, petrified and flailing about. You look up at me, thinking my behavior rather peculiar and politely ask me "how I am enjoying the dish." I continue to gag while you continue to pick away at your carbonara, my head falling into the side dish of pasta. At which point you start to think that perhaps something isn't quite right. Or, in the parlance of all disaster speak, that something has gone "horribly wrong." Suddenly, magically, you make the intuitive leap, from chicken--to bone--to gag--to my possible demise, and you quickly swing into action. Racing to me from your chair, you spill the wine all over the table and my pants, and before I know it you have your arms around me like a metal vise and, in military fashion, whip into a series of strong, sexy Heimlich maneuvers, my body jerking forward like I was on a defibrillator. The couple at the table next to us are in absolute astonishment and horror and they rapidly clear out. But NOT before they watch you give me one final strong, quick jerk from behind and notice the impacted chicken bone ('exhibit A your Honor') suddenly dislodge and shoot across the room, bouncing off of the far wall.
Our very first date, and my life has been saved by an angel. And I? I am instantly in love. At least temporarily. No "bones" about it, the tiramisu was wonderful. Before leaving, we toast a second time (this time to a lucrative lawsuit).
..and version 2:
We could meet virtually anywhere that is quiet enough and non-distracting--ummm, maybe a cemetary (shades of Harold & Maude). But then, depending on who you are, we might opt for a romp around Chinatown or a drive in the Miata to pick up some ingredients and cook up something delicious together. Or go buy some live crabs at the supermarket and head to a beach where we can laugh and set them free. I live in a kind of quantum world of possibilities and non-rigidity and the activity/doing is really quite irrelevant--the adventure is in the sheer pleasure of being together and exploring each other, n'est-ce pas? And if we click, that has no ending...kinda like this write-up. Its all in the experiment.
PSssst: Feel a little shy about sending a wink/note? I understand. If so, you can put me on your favorites list and I can contact you. I will try to reply to all who write me.
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