SWM in boring job seeks crazy b i t c h for unfulfilling sex, hustling, and future divorce. I enjoy smoking, drinking, petty theft, porn and self-righteous indignation. for fun i enjoying browsing other people's profiles and making shallow judgements about their intellect, maturity level, and social skills. Everything I need to know about life I got from watching Gilligan's Island. I would kill to win the Nobel peace prize. I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by affecting a world-weary air, memorizing pointless quotes of classical works, and chuckling at my own mean spirited, agenda driven jokes. I am not holding my breath but I am looking for interesting conversation with someone that will have to be quoted later in a courtroom. It would be awesome if I won't hear after our date that you were rated "E" for everyone. I'm looking for a fun evening that doesn't end in a puddle of vomit or at the emergency room.
YOU: You are a winy, crazy **** with misplaced sense of entitlement and lots of expectations. In time you will become hostile when I don't fulfill every unmet need you've ever had. You feel very strongly about women's rights when it suits your purpose. You filled your profile with generalities, and yet you expect guys to guess what you are interested in when writing to you. Bonus points if you just finished dating every guy in town but want to take it slow with me. My perfect night would be getting hammered in a sleazy bar while you seduce seedy old drunks, followed by an embarrassing screaming match. I would be open to an unsatisfying fling that ruins my life instantaneously but prefer a long term, spirit crushing decent into alcoholism and pills. No friendships I don't need any more damned friends! Age unimportant, but I often condescend to women under 23 and rehash mother issued with women over 49. Serious replies only, please No liberals.
Talk over drinks or walk on beach holding hands, anyplace but TGIF, applebees, hate those kind of places or maybe a hike through the woods and you can check me for ticks after.