I’m seeking a like-minded woman to share a disastrous 3-9 month relationship with, ending in acrimony, emotional chaos, and possible legal proceedings. I am looking for an attractive female who will at first give me obsessive love, praise and devotion - but whose paranoia, self-loathing and fear of rejection and abandonment will eventually lead her to alternately push me away and pull me closer in a love/hate cycle that will lead to infidelity, consensual sexual violence, and the eventual emotional breakdown of one party or the other - or if we’re lucky - both!
Now, I know what you're thinking, "How am I so lucky that I came across this profile and this guy hasn't been swooped up by some super model." Well here's the thing, despite what the tabloids say, I really am a normal, down to earth person. And like many of you, I recently came to the realization that I've been looking for love in all the wrong places.
If you want to chat, hit me up. I'll take it from there.
I'd take you out to an expensive restaurant, then pretend I forgot my wallet and make you pay for dinner. I'd then use my charm to make you forget about the boring conversation and we'd have hot, passionate sex all night. I'd leave before you woke up and then never return your phone calls. I'd repeat this pattern over and over again; abusing plentyoffish for free meals and sex with women who, while very attractive, are undoubtedly very shallow and have a poor self image. I'd do this until I got so many complaints, POF would be forced to cancel my account. (I've already had one account canceled, not because I'm a womanizer, but because they said my pictures were too sexy. Something about girls fainting.) Don't think you'll be the exception.
But really though; it depends on what I have going on that day. We might head to a food festival, a movie premiere, or just hang out and get some drinks. If you're lucky, I might teach you the secrets of cooking using liquid nitrogen.
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