Lynn & Roamie, Married 4/2012
"It's out there, be patient and have fun with it."
I never was looking to get married. I had a very successful single life. I dated really fun, intelligent, funny men. I made it clear that I wasn't looking for marriage from the get go. Occasionally I annoyed men who got to know me and started hinting at a future with me. That was usually me cue to move on.
When I saw Roamie's profile, I zeroed in on it because I thought it was my ex. When I looked closely I realized that while there was a similarity in their look, this was NOT my ex. Out of curiosity I read his profile. It was a long well written profile. In it he said he wasn't looking for long term, but further on, he said that if he's dating someone, that monogamy would be expected. Always wanting to put my two cents in I wrote him...."If you want monogamy, then you have a girlfriend which speaks to a commitment of some sort."
This became a conversation which made me smile, challenged me, and made me want to talk to him more. (Hell, he could spell and punctuate. That alone got my attention.)
This man, once I got to know him....changed my stubborn, self serving mind. When he proposed I answered without hesitation. Our wedding was the most spectacularly memorable moment of my life. (No stress, great people, great party and both my kids walked me down the aisle...my son in his Marine dress blues.)
My message to all you out there in the internet dating world....
*Know what you want.
*Pick great profile pics (which don't include your mom). Wear red.
*Be willing to compromise.
*Have a sense of humor.
*Lead with your head.
*Never say never.
*Be honest without being abrasive.
*NEVER BE DESPERATE OR PUSHY. That is annoying as hell and the quickest way to extinguish something that is a possibility.
*....and MOST of all. Relax and have fun.
This is one of the greatest ways to open your horizons to meet new people. (I should write a book or teach a course.) Stop whining that dating is so hard and embrace it.
It's out there, be patient and have fun with it.