I could say just about anything here, but let's get down to brass tacks: you either like what you see up there in my pictures or you don't. Furthermore, we'll know within the first five minutes of meeting if something "clicks" or not, right? So how about the stuff that no one puts on these things? How about the stuff you don't functionally understand about a person until it's "too late"?
1) I'm smart; not rocket-scientist smart, but maybe like unmanned-space-probe-scientist smart. Maybe. I've spent the last decade of my life in a very competitive field that has been financially and intellectually rewarding. My ducks, as they say, are in a row.
2) I don't actually have ducks. Other things I don't have include: crippling debt, a checkered past, skeletons in the closet, several pairs of Crocs, a hunting rifle, a fantasy football team, a bald spot, gold chains, a drug problem, baby-mama drama.
3) I've got more culture than a bucket of yogurt. I speak three languages and play three instruments. I've lived in six states and two countries. I've been shot at by insurgents, surrounded by barracudas, and I've fallen down the side of a mountain. I draw, I paint, I sculpt, I write. I have a houseplant named Vanessa.
4) I'm a man's man. Sure, I like puppies and rainbows and cuddling and romance, but if you dropped me in a junkyard with a set of tools, I could build you a car. If you dropped me in a forest with a knife and a compass, I could make it through the winter. If you dropped me off the side of a building, well... I would probably die. Where am I going with this? I don't know, but I'm not stopping to ask for directions, and if that's not manly then I don't know what is!
Let's get real here: there was a time in your life when you were attracted to bad boys. (Maybe you still are. Am I judging you? No.) Because you want excitement. You want adventure. You want FUN, and bad boys are lots of fun. For a while. But they have that pesky habit of not growing up, and the vast majority do not actually turn out to be Prince Charming on the inside, contrary to the hopeful ideologies of youth. So now what? We're in our thirties, and we're obviously still looking for someone. Who's left? Boring nice guys, right? Right!! Wait, I mean Wrong!!
What if you could have fun with somebody who didn't turn out to be a pathological liar or a criminal? What if you could feel that same sense of excitement and adventure again without worrying about Prince Charming getting hammered and slugging you one? What if you could meet a real man who makes you feel like a real woman, but doesn't try to sleep with your friends?
I'm tons of fun. I'm in the Guinness Book of World Records for Most Fun 32-Year Old. I'm just also a responsible, mature adult (imagine that!). If that sounds like someone you want to meet, let me know. I can introduce you.
Here's an idea: let's not waste each others' time. Instead of a first date, I propose a "get together." Some evening when we're both free, we meet up around 8pm for coffee or tea or frozen yogurt or a game of Scrabble. No pressure, no awkward silences, no big "to do", and no waste of a Friday night. In fact, make plans with your friends for 9pm that very same evening. Because after 15 minutes together, we'll know if we want to spend more than 15 minutes together. At that point, we either go our separate ways OR set up an actual date for another evening OR (my favorite option) we tell our friends to go jump in a lake, and the date starts right then and there. Just a warning, I plan to be attractive and say many charming and witty things, so don't get too excited about hanging out with your friends at 9pm. You're probably going to cancel. Better tell them to bring a swimsuit too, just in case (for the lake).