Sorry, was not interested in trying to sound witty. (couldn't think of anything to get you to read my lameass profile)
Winter's almost here and I'm just looking for someone to have sex with. (i get cold easy) You can also pick me up in your fancy car (mine kinda sucks) and we can go to dinner, (I'll pay my half). I'll entertain you over dinner by telling you how much money I make in the stock market, (not much) how much weight I can benchpress, (not much) and how good I am in bed. (why do they always fall asleep during this?)
Over dessert I'll remind of how much money I make, but then move on to how expensive my home is, (I rent) how much my car cost ($700.00), and how many celebrites I have met. (1 , Goldie Hawn, we talked about my grandmother for a half hr), Later that night after you agree to come back to my place, (yeah right) I'll show the inflatable bed I still sleep on. (unfortunately true, but hey Aerobed makes quite a product!) And the cool 1980s shag carpet in my hallway, (it's god awful) just to get you in the mood. (to leave most likely)
You'll no doubt be impressed by the 1990s furnishings, horrible interior decorating and my couch with a hole in it so big, it looks like a bear ate it. (but it's soooo comfy)
After a couple drinks ( i hate booze, you'll get a nice romantic glass of coke in a 1990s Boston Pizza mug), I'll play you a song on my guitar, (im actually quite good at this) then we'll have sex and fall asleep. (i meant I'll fall asleep after you leave and dream we had sex)
So, when can you pick me up...?
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
You come to my place and I play my guitar for you, we talk for a bit, order a Pizza with garlic dip. Then we start watching a movie and eventually move on to making out.