"Pleasure is very seldom found where it is sought. Our brightest blazes are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks." ~ Samuel Johnson. ME?..The metamorphic change inherent to my approach toward my mature years has been, appearance and health wise(definitely haven't thrown in the towel on continual improvement of my appearance), kind and graceful Thank God ...I'm a work in motion on betterment in all aspects including love and relationships..LONG GONE is irresponsible self-indulgent debauchery (yea,I made some mistakes I'm not proud of and, recognizing my shortcomings, I'm really trying to lose my proneness to inexorability and I'm striving to achieve a picture of myself next to the word "redemption"). Financially savvy..NOT wealthy...I have no worries about my future.. just ask my financial advisors Bernie Madoff and Allen Stanford - Wasn't "A PONZI SCHEME" a Happy Days episode?.. AIG does mean "All Investments Gratifying" right??. I'm a great kisser (possess an unceasing youthful propensity for making out)..Turn ons?..Lipstick and painted nails (not a prerequisite or deal breaker)..Siamese cats..caffeine..Happy Gilmore's tee-off..Swansboro Yacht Club..The Rat Pack..Oh yea..intellectual stimulation (I almost wrote simulation) like early Three Stooges(Nyuk Nyuk). Turn offs?..Internet connected responders who ask where Sterling,Va is and remark that I look different in all my pictures..RAP-CRAP (singing slang poetry to burping and flatuency)..AND = Watching cars go around in circles for hours..might as well watch clothes washing in a frontloader - AND THE UNDERWEAR TAKES THE CHECKERED FLAG!!..(Guess that will eliminate some of you). I don't wear baseball caps on my head backwards. You'll never see me with a 3 day stubble. I don't pull the pseudo-fakearoony head shave or wear handkerchiefs(Doo-raps)on my head to hide premature balding (I am guilty of blonding-SUE ME!) and since I consider my body on loan, I exercise regularly (12hrs-wk-free+ station that would tractionize most), my bathing suits don't extend to my knee caps,eat well balanced meals, and not wanting to endure tattoo getters inevitable "WHAT WAS I THINKING?!!"or "I KNOW, I WAS AN IDIOT!!!" remorse let alone feeling like a branded cow..(no offense Kat Von D and Jesse James) I don't have any "INK" (uh-0h, guess that will send many to the back of the "I JUST LOVE WATCHING CARS BURN GAS GOING IN CIRCLES" line)oh well...I don't say "YOU KNOW?" or "YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?" after every sentence (you know what I mean?) and I always wish my Facebook friends Happy Birthday when notified. All my shots are up to date except for distemper which I've scheduled for next week. I'm de-drama'd, de-baggaged, (had my share and I let it go) and I'll get deloused if requested. I always return "the seat" to the down position and I am fully aware of the importance of the two words: "Yes, dear" (or benevolent equivalent) AND I DON'T ASK FOR DIRECTIONS!(I bought a GPS)..AND..who gives a flying burrito if someone sees a glass half full or half empty? IT'S STILL HALF A GLASS RIGHT?!! Alright,you made it this far without leaving...thank you and I hope you've had a chuckle or two and please remember..just because I don't, doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't)..This ad is for all you women who are disillusioned with the male specie and the less than honorable characters they often portray. Me? Tall, HEALTHY, (except for an occasional bout with love butterflies) handsome, non-alcohol consuming (no vices except caffeine and ice cream), hygienic conscious, disease free, CLEAN FLOSSED TEETH, full head of hair, gentle on the eyes, "sempiternal extreme" member of the opposite gender who would like to convince you that there are a few (mainly me) desirable gentlemen still available out there. May I open a door or pull a chair out for you? (For those who are offended by "Old School" chivalry..you can open your own door). Reply with haste. Your response could lead to an unforgettable romantic experience. Please feel free to write me or instant message me at safeharbour at Yahoo or FACEBOOK (just send a friend request). I respond in kind to all (even negative critiquers of my profile). I am not a serial or speed dater. I enjoy SEX and I am GREAT in performance but it's definitely not the end-all with me and my thought process doesn't originate from the crotch. Please DO NOT contact me if you are under age 50 (I don't have "younger women only" syndrome)..married or separated with chance of reconciliation, don't know what the Beatles and British Invasion were, OR..if you've posted one picture of you in sunglasses and seven others of your dog and prize watermelon..OR..if you discovered those mysterious fly fishing trips your ex or significant other was taking were to Brokeback Mountain..OR..If you are clueless as to what an "Average" and "Prefer not to say" body type is..NPNM policy in effect.(NO PICTURE, NO ME!) I know.."It's whats on the inside that counts". To any spur of the moment travelers desiring a cultured companion (forks on the left side, knives and spoons on the right)..I need only an hour to be packed and passport ready. KIAD is at the end of my street :-)
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
First we look (and smell) each other up and down while circling at the infamous place of caffeine and if we like what we see we can commence with simian primate grooming. BUT WAIT !!! If you respond in the next 10 minutes, I'll double your order (an extra man always thrown in for free because the first one's faults will eventually surface), knock off one payment, throw in a set of Ginsu Knives, a Ron Popeil Pocket Fisherman,(plenty of gourmet dishes to be made with the blue gill and carp you'll catch at the shopping mall goose pond!) and a Free replacement LIFETIME WARRANTY even if it's your fault (just pay shipping and handling).