Right then girls...
Below is my profile from when (and then just after) I was single. I am no longer single and am on here TO SET MY BEST FRIEND UP ON A DATE!!! HE IS 38, SINGLE, LIVES IN LINCOLN, HAS A VERY GOOD JOB YOU GIRLS WOULD BE PROUD OF AND IS A GENUINELY LOVELY GUY!!!
Now I have been back on here for a while looking to set him up with someone, but to be quite frank, you girls are just too suspicious and ask too many damn questions!!!! Why am I doing this? I just am! Why is he not on here himself? He just isn't! Is he actually a nice guy? No, I spent more than twenty years of my life being good friends with an idiot retard!! F course he's a nice guy! Can you see a picture? NO. It's a blind date! (well maybe if you have an email address).
He is not weird, has no issues. Never been married. No kids. No baggage. He just does not have the confidence to put himself out there. As a result I think that he is missing out on someone quite special. Likewise, someone is missing out on being with a really good guy.
So if you are single and up for a blind date, you will have to go through me, but there is a really genuine guy at the end of it.
Thanks for reading. You may now continue to read what I, one of his best mates, put on here when I was single as an advert for myself!
LET ME JUST START BY SAYING THAT I AM NOT SINGLE. I HAVE FOUND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND ONLY NOW COMEON HERE TO HAVE A NOSE!
Who else loves the noise of cracking open that foil seal on a new jar of coffee?
I'm 33, I live in Lincoln and I run my own theatre company.
Has anyone actually ever sucked the juice out of a tractor?
I'm into rugby (hate football), I love films and a good old discussion about them is always on the cards. I have an eleven year old daughter who lives with her mother and she comes first in my life no matter what!! I have just written, directed and produced two plays. One of which we took to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, August 08.
Ever put jam on a magnet? Just for a laugh!
JOKE NO. 1
A couple get to the hotel after getting married and the guy takes his trousers off and throws them at her and says,
"Put them on!!",
She does, reluctantly, and he continues.
"That is the first and last time you wear the trousers in this relationship!!".
She takes the trousers off, followed by her knickers and throws them at him.
"Now you put them on.", she says.
"I'll never get into those!!", he replies.
"No..." she says "And unless you change your attitude you never will !!"
(I used that in my best man's speech June 2006)
TEN THINGS I AM NOT LOOKING FOR IN SOMEONE THAT THERE ARE NO OPTIONS FOR ON HERE !
1. Girls with a psychopathic ex. (I'm a lover, not a fighter.... a.k.a. a wimp!!)
2. Strippers. (I'm sure you're lovely, just not for me!)
3. Girls who are psychopathic themselves. (The ground just got very thin!!)
4. Tomboys. (I'm not gay!)
5. Girls who are TOO CLOSE to their brothers. (A healthy sibling relationship is fine, but the aforementioned sort get too protective!)
6. Cat lovers. (Can't stand them, don't get on with them, they make me sneeze! The cats are even worse!!)
7. Perverts. (Hey, I'm as experimental as the next guy, but there's only so much you can do with a shoe horn, squirty cream and nipple clamps!!)
8. Depressed girls. (We've all got problems love!!)
9. "I don't know, you decide". (A girl says this on a first date, we're doomed!)
10. Alcoholics. (I like your knickers and I'm sure you are very proud of them too, but do you have to show them to everyone when you fall on your a*** for the tenth time??)
With all this said, I'll just go and bury myself in a hole for the rest of eternity as I seemed to have covered all womankind there. Or have I ?
All in all I'm a well rounded guy with a lot to offer and sick of attracting the wrong type of girl. Just thought I should lay it all on the line so that we all know where we stand. Hopefully I've made you giggle. If not, here's another stupid joke.
JOKE NO. 2
A zero and a figure eight are walking through the desert. The zero says to the figure eight,
"Why do you have your belt on so tight??"
So, get in touch if you like what you see. Hell, do it even if you don't!!
Anyhoo, cheers for now.
This would depend on the lady in question. A meal is a good option, but you don't want to realise mid-sentence that you just spat a piece of good food over someone's top! Did they see it and are saying nothing, but have switched off thinking your disgusting? Have they not yet seen it and you may get away with them thinking they did it? Did I order the right wine to go with the dish? See what I mean? So many questions!! I live in Lincoln, so if it were here I would say a quiet get to know you drink and a romantic walk around the castle and cathedral area.
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