| About | Non-Smoker with Athletic body type | City | Essex Uk | |
| Details | 48 year old Man, 5' 11" (180 cm), Non-Religious | Ethnicity | Caucasian Aquarius with Brown hair |
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| I am Seeking a | Woman | For | Dating | |
| Needs Test | Not Completed | Chemistry | Not Completed | |
| Do you drink? | Socially | Do you want children? | Does not want children | |
| Marital Status | Divorced | Do you do drugs? | No | |
| Profession | Jet Jocky | Do you have children? | Yes | |
| Education | Graduate degree | Do you have a car? | Yes |
Relationship
Intent MikeDee001 wants to date but nothing serious. |
Relationship History The longest relationship MikeDee001 has been in was over 9 years long. |
Interests
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About Me
Well thats a Headline..ehhh got your attention!!!
So to begin...and without the usual old malarky about log fires bottles of wine and cosy evenings
in..Ahhhhhhhhh yes I know as nice as they are but to begin to try and describe myself that way would most likely result in fatal boredom long before I have finished tapping out my little piece here.So lets try this on for size and this is the edited version that cuts out all the b******t erm hope you like it ..........
I like to party ...But I am not an alcohol soaked vegetable
I have an opinion and do use it...But not an attitude
I appreciate the nicer things in life ...but am not a slave to them
I am laid back...But not horizontal
:down:
So if you are still here then thats the first hurdle past and things are starting to look positive so long as you don't fall foul of the ground rules below.
Must be able to have a laugh and a joke...get in touch I may tell you some.
Must not take themselves too seriously.
Must not judge by Size of paycheque.(show me yours and I will show you mine)
Must not be consumed by materialism.
Must not ask me for a virtual CV...this is not the Apprentice.
No nutters... im not a shrink.
No homicidal ex partners in the background.
A second date does not constitute a marriage proposal.
If you have made it this far pour yourself a big drink..but please use alcohol responsibily...yeah right......!!!
***Joke Board ***
What do you call an afghan virgin
Never bin laid on
How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper.
If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?
A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm.
He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"
Why does a squirrle swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur
A lickalotopis
*******
Little Johnny sees his mother walk out of the shower and sees her vagina.
He asks her what it is and she embarassed replies, "Oh, that's mommy's black sponge."
A few days later, Johnny spills a glass of milk on the floor and says, "Mommy, I need your black sponge to mop up the milk!"
She replies, "I lost it, honey."
A couple of days later, he comes running up to her and says, "Mommy, I found your black sponge!" Mystified, she says, "Where, honey?"
Little Johnny says, "It's over at Mrs. Johnson's house, and Daddy's washing his face in it!"
**********
3 men walk into a bar.
After they drink a couple of beers they are ready to leave, but the bartender won't let them unless they have 12 inches of****between them.
The first guy whips his out and shows 6 inches.
The second guy drops his pants and shows 5 inches.
Finally, the third guy shows his 1 inch****
The bartender says "Ok, thats 12 inches you can go".
As the're walking away the first guy said to the third, "Thank god you had a boner or we would still be there"!!
A man in court giving evidence in the witness box keeps clearing his throat, after a while the judge interjects and said " My I suggest that if your throat is dry that you try sucking on a Fishermans Friend" to which the man replies "I think thats how I got the sore throat in the first place"!!
A woman goes to the doctor. “These hormone tablets you’ve put me on are having some weird side-effects,” she moans. “Really?” asks the doctor. “What do you mean?” “For some reason I’ve now got hair all over my chest.” “How far does it go down?” “That’s the worst bit,” she says. “All the way down to my bollocks
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is admitted. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and, as is the wont for engineers, starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks, "So how's it going down there in hell
Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flushing toilets and working escalators, and there's no telling what an engineer is going to come up with next." God replies, "What You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?"
It’s the first day of football practise, and the coach notices that little Billy has a wee bit of talent. So he calls to Billy and tells to come over. “Hey kid,” he asks, “do you think you could pass a football?” little Billy ponders for a moment and looks up at the coach. “Christ,” he replies. “I don’t think I could even swallow one ....
What’s the difference between a cross-country run and Anthony Worrall Thompson?...
well, one’s a pant in the country...
A man’s running his eye over a menu in a restaurant when his attractive waitress asks him what he’d fancy. “A quickie, please” “Sir,” she says, “I’ll ask you one more time, is there anything that takes your fancy?” “Yes,” says the man again. “A quickie.” Outraged she slaps him across the face and storms back across the restaurant in a huff. “Mate,” says the guy at the next table, “it’s pronounced ‘quiche’......
So to begin...and without the usual old malarky about log fires bottles of wine and cosy evenings
in..Ahhhhhhhhh yes I know as nice as they are but to begin to try and describe myself that way would most likely result in fatal boredom long before I have finished tapping out my little piece here.So lets try this on for size and this is the edited version that cuts out all the b******t erm hope you like it ..........
I like to party ...But I am not an alcohol soaked vegetable
I have an opinion and do use it...But not an attitude
I appreciate the nicer things in life ...but am not a slave to them
I am laid back...But not horizontal
:down:
So if you are still here then thats the first hurdle past and things are starting to look positive so long as you don't fall foul of the ground rules below.
Must be able to have a laugh and a joke...get in touch I may tell you some.
Must not take themselves too seriously.
Must not judge by Size of paycheque.(show me yours and I will show you mine)
Must not be consumed by materialism.
Must not ask me for a virtual CV...this is not the Apprentice.
No nutters... im not a shrink.
No homicidal ex partners in the background.
A second date does not constitute a marriage proposal.
If you have made it this far pour yourself a big drink..but please use alcohol responsibily...yeah right......!!!
***Joke Board ***
What do you call an afghan virgin
Never bin laid on
How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper.
If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?
A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm.
He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"
Why does a squirrle swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur
A lickalotopis
*******
Little Johnny sees his mother walk out of the shower and sees her vagina.
He asks her what it is and she embarassed replies, "Oh, that's mommy's black sponge."
A few days later, Johnny spills a glass of milk on the floor and says, "Mommy, I need your black sponge to mop up the milk!"
She replies, "I lost it, honey."
A couple of days later, he comes running up to her and says, "Mommy, I found your black sponge!" Mystified, she says, "Where, honey?"
Little Johnny says, "It's over at Mrs. Johnson's house, and Daddy's washing his face in it!"
**********
3 men walk into a bar.
After they drink a couple of beers they are ready to leave, but the bartender won't let them unless they have 12 inches of****between them.
The first guy whips his out and shows 6 inches.
The second guy drops his pants and shows 5 inches.
Finally, the third guy shows his 1 inch****
The bartender says "Ok, thats 12 inches you can go".
As the're walking away the first guy said to the third, "Thank god you had a boner or we would still be there"!!
A man in court giving evidence in the witness box keeps clearing his throat, after a while the judge interjects and said " My I suggest that if your throat is dry that you try sucking on a Fishermans Friend" to which the man replies "I think thats how I got the sore throat in the first place"!!
A woman goes to the doctor. “These hormone tablets you’ve put me on are having some weird side-effects,” she moans. “Really?” asks the doctor. “What do you mean?” “For some reason I’ve now got hair all over my chest.” “How far does it go down?” “That’s the worst bit,” she says. “All the way down to my bollocks
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is admitted. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and, as is the wont for engineers, starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks, "So how's it going down there in hell
Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flushing toilets and working escalators, and there's no telling what an engineer is going to come up with next." God replies, "What You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?"
It’s the first day of football practise, and the coach notices that little Billy has a wee bit of talent. So he calls to Billy and tells to come over. “Hey kid,” he asks, “do you think you could pass a football?” little Billy ponders for a moment and looks up at the coach. “Christ,” he replies. “I don’t think I could even swallow one ....
What’s the difference between a cross-country run and Anthony Worrall Thompson?...
well, one’s a pant in the country...
A man’s running his eye over a menu in a restaurant when his attractive waitress asks him what he’d fancy. “A quickie, please” “Sir,” she says, “I’ll ask you one more time, is there anything that takes your fancy?” “Yes,” says the man again. “A quickie.” Outraged she slaps him across the face and storms back across the restaurant in a huff. “Mate,” says the guy at the next table, “it’s pronounced ‘quiche’......
First Date
Lets pull all the stops out on this one... take you out for a Kebab play your cards right and you will get chips as well, then its back to my place where I would show you my stamp collection...guess I will be beating you ladies off with a stick with an offer as rich as that !!!!! OR We buy two extra large bottles of supermarket Cider
borrow a mongrel dog.. binge drink in the local park and then remonstrate with imaginary passers by...thats my favorite.
borrow a mongrel dog.. binge drink in the local park and then remonstrate with imaginary passers by...thats my favorite.
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