| About | Non-Smoker with Big & Tall/BBW body type | City | Barrie Ontario | |
| Details | 37 year old Woman, 5' 8" (173 cm), Non-Religious | Ethnicity | Caucasian Taurus with Red hair |
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| I am Seeking a | Man | For | Friends | |
| Needs Test | View her relationship needs | Chemistry | View her chemistry results | |
| Do you drink? | Socially | Do you want children? | Does not want children | |
| Marital Status | Single | Do you do drugs? | No | |
| Pets | Dog | Eye Color | Green | |
| Profession | All needles, blood & bandaids | Do you have children? | Yes | |
| Education | Some college | Do you have a car? | Yes |
Relationship
Intent Mae B wants to date but nothing serious. |
Relationship History The longest relationship Mae B has been in was over 10 years long. |
About Me
I find it funny that all my "matches" are not looking for the same thing as I am, and are so far away!
But oh yeah.... I'm looking at YOU... FREAKIN' YOU ALL OUT... one profile at a time!
Option 1~ Vertical Friends
(Currently interviewing Personal Trainers that are willing to work for cookies or home made Jam)
I'm fast approaching 40 & am completely wrapped up (by choice) in my kids, family & work. No me time to be had. I want friends to go to the gym with (YMCA & yes fat girls workout!), talk with, not clean up after, not watch animated movies with, or constantly have to tell to wash your hands/don't touch that/ stop doing that/ for the love of MIKE please be quiet!!! None of the stuff included in Option B need apply, even if you're a guy. Yes I am capable.. I am a former Funeral Director and now a Labrat.. so I enjoy someone that can keep me talking. I tend to listen and observe, (by professional training) but get me going and lookout!! I'm a great listener, an awesome friend, funny as hell and more motherly than is good for me. 50's housewife-ish in a way. I also (on a part time basis) run a custom jam making company. Check me out on FB.
Having grown up in a small northern town, 4 brothers, bad hand me downs, and no fear of snakes & wildlife or power tools... I have never related well to women and all their Drama. I find guys easier to get along with, more fun to be around, and far less annoying. Always have, always will. I'm not a frilly cute little girly girl. I don't like being told I'm pretty, because being pretty means you're not practical or capable. (thanks for that issue MOM) I grew up a tomboy, and it's hard to inject girly girl into a tomboy. My mother pretty much had to Duct tape a skirt to my waist to get me to wear one (and did). Now that I'm older, I'm totally aware of how I need to present the "girls" to catch your attention.. but still not a fan of skirts, or duct tape either! I appreciate chivalry, but am not above snatching whatever out of your hands because it's taking you to long to do something "only men should do". I can do it myself thank you!
I am a rare breed. I am fierce.. I am very opinionated, love debates, an excellent listener and have a strong set of values and thoughts on what's decent and what's not so decent about today's world. I call people out on things way too often for my own good, and there will undoubtedly be an incident if you're rude, or have been rude to any form of customer/public service personnel. My mouth is always getting me into trouble it seems.. and out of a few tickets!!! HA!
I don't giggle, I laugh til I snort. I'm more likely to punch you in the arm in retaliation than to stalk off in a huff or cry. I'm the awesome chick you can hang with and not have to worry about things getting weird unless you're the one generating the weird. Please put an end to weird generation. Save the children.
Apparently being of such an independent nature scares people off, because men have this primal need to think they can help you. You can help me alright... but you're going to be told when you're doing it wrong.
Option 2~ Horizontal Friends ALL POSITIONS ARE CURRENTLY FILLED(pardon the pun)
(Currently interviewing personal trainers that are willing to work for BJ's...
but not really looking to fill any positions )
This is where things get tricky.
OPEN RELATIONSHIP!!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES BEFORE THE EVIL OVER TAKES US!
This stupid thing keeps defaulting to single, so I give up!!! Long term open relationship is my definition. His profile is on here as well, and this is not a "couples" ad, it is mine alone. We have kids, 2 homes, cars and everything that normal society considers normal, but with MUCHO BENEFITOS.
BTW He's the big bald guy in the pool.. scary huh? 5th Degree blackbelt in case you get any ideas.
I understand that some people cannot wrap their head around the fine details of a successful open relationship, but please just skip past me, and save the judgmental angry typing for another profile. We've been doing this for 13 years now, been together since Grade 12, and I'm pretty sure you aren't special enough to screw that up. No one has been thus far.
A few tips right off the bat.. you'll notice a lot of pics are up.
This would indicate I'm not shy, nor do I care who might see me on here and OH MY GOSH!!! find out what kind of fancy sex life I lead. It really isn't all that fancy. I've been doing this for a long time. I am very sure of what I want and need. I am neither desperate nor easy. I am not easily lead astray or convinced of things visually, which means I don't want your d!ck pics, I want your certificate of not crazy, and to get to know you a bit to see if I like what you're selling.
You will talk your way in, nothing else does it for me like a funny quick witted guy.
I am so discrete I could write the manual, but I also do not play super spy games to not get you caught. If you cannot meet somewhere of your choosing for a drink without a disguise on, you probably shouldn't be meeting anyone online.
Now back to the topic at hand.... ME!
Go up and read the "VERTICAL friends" section, then jump back down here to continue. I'll wait.
Ok back? good. Please continue.
How can I explain this so you'll understand.....I am one of those female friends that you can nail and I'll still be normal afterward. IF I choose to let it go that far. I am not constantly on the hunt as it were. I find it's easier to just sit back and grab asses as they walk by Fire me a message that has some thought behind it that proves you've read this novel in detail and we're in business.
I expect some level of civility, I'm not some rampaging hormone that will jump any guy that glances at me...although there are a few days out of the month like that.. I'm not easily gotten. Pretty Please put some effort into your message or at the very least use spell check.
The brief version: I'm comfortable with myself and expect the same....Attitude is key! It's how we get along that will determine how far the arrangement goes, because to be frank, if you don't do it for me mentally, we aren't doing ANYTHING physical.
Just because someone is willing to bang doesn't mean they're EASY to bang.
The first meet is always in a public place NO EXCEPTIONS
LOCAL ALWAYS WINS OVER DISTANCE
You're at the bottom of my things to do list. VERY BOTTOM. I've had too many arguments about why I am too busy to meet. A lot of stuff comes first in my Life before fun. Plain & simple.
Have a SUPER AWESOME DAY!!!
But oh yeah.... I'm looking at YOU... FREAKIN' YOU ALL OUT... one profile at a time!
Option 1~ Vertical Friends
(Currently interviewing Personal Trainers that are willing to work for cookies or home made Jam)
I'm fast approaching 40 & am completely wrapped up (by choice) in my kids, family & work. No me time to be had. I want friends to go to the gym with (YMCA & yes fat girls workout!), talk with, not clean up after, not watch animated movies with, or constantly have to tell to wash your hands/don't touch that/ stop doing that/ for the love of MIKE please be quiet!!! None of the stuff included in Option B need apply, even if you're a guy. Yes I am capable.. I am a former Funeral Director and now a Labrat.. so I enjoy someone that can keep me talking. I tend to listen and observe, (by professional training) but get me going and lookout!! I'm a great listener, an awesome friend, funny as hell and more motherly than is good for me. 50's housewife-ish in a way. I also (on a part time basis) run a custom jam making company. Check me out on FB.
Having grown up in a small northern town, 4 brothers, bad hand me downs, and no fear of snakes & wildlife or power tools... I have never related well to women and all their Drama. I find guys easier to get along with, more fun to be around, and far less annoying. Always have, always will. I'm not a frilly cute little girly girl. I don't like being told I'm pretty, because being pretty means you're not practical or capable. (thanks for that issue MOM) I grew up a tomboy, and it's hard to inject girly girl into a tomboy. My mother pretty much had to Duct tape a skirt to my waist to get me to wear one (and did). Now that I'm older, I'm totally aware of how I need to present the "girls" to catch your attention.. but still not a fan of skirts, or duct tape either! I appreciate chivalry, but am not above snatching whatever out of your hands because it's taking you to long to do something "only men should do". I can do it myself thank you!
I am a rare breed. I am fierce.. I am very opinionated, love debates, an excellent listener and have a strong set of values and thoughts on what's decent and what's not so decent about today's world. I call people out on things way too often for my own good, and there will undoubtedly be an incident if you're rude, or have been rude to any form of customer/public service personnel. My mouth is always getting me into trouble it seems.. and out of a few tickets!!! HA!
I don't giggle, I laugh til I snort. I'm more likely to punch you in the arm in retaliation than to stalk off in a huff or cry. I'm the awesome chick you can hang with and not have to worry about things getting weird unless you're the one generating the weird. Please put an end to weird generation. Save the children.
Apparently being of such an independent nature scares people off, because men have this primal need to think they can help you. You can help me alright... but you're going to be told when you're doing it wrong.
Option 2~ Horizontal Friends ALL POSITIONS ARE CURRENTLY FILLED(pardon the pun)
(Currently interviewing personal trainers that are willing to work for BJ's...
but not really looking to fill any positions )This is where things get tricky.
OPEN RELATIONSHIP!!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES BEFORE THE EVIL OVER TAKES US!
This stupid thing keeps defaulting to single, so I give up!!! Long term open relationship is my definition. His profile is on here as well, and this is not a "couples" ad, it is mine alone. We have kids, 2 homes, cars and everything that normal society considers normal, but with MUCHO BENEFITOS.
BTW He's the big bald guy in the pool.. scary huh? 5th Degree blackbelt in case you get any ideas.
I understand that some people cannot wrap their head around the fine details of a successful open relationship, but please just skip past me, and save the judgmental angry typing for another profile. We've been doing this for 13 years now, been together since Grade 12, and I'm pretty sure you aren't special enough to screw that up. No one has been thus far.
A few tips right off the bat.. you'll notice a lot of pics are up.
This would indicate I'm not shy, nor do I care who might see me on here and OH MY GOSH!!! find out what kind of fancy sex life I lead. It really isn't all that fancy. I've been doing this for a long time. I am very sure of what I want and need. I am neither desperate nor easy. I am not easily lead astray or convinced of things visually, which means I don't want your d!ck pics, I want your certificate of not crazy, and to get to know you a bit to see if I like what you're selling.
You will talk your way in, nothing else does it for me like a funny quick witted guy.
I am so discrete I could write the manual, but I also do not play super spy games to not get you caught. If you cannot meet somewhere of your choosing for a drink without a disguise on, you probably shouldn't be meeting anyone online.
Now back to the topic at hand.... ME!
Go up and read the "VERTICAL friends" section, then jump back down here to continue. I'll wait.
Ok back? good. Please continue.
How can I explain this so you'll understand.....I am one of those female friends that you can nail and I'll still be normal afterward. IF I choose to let it go that far. I am not constantly on the hunt as it were. I find it's easier to just sit back and grab asses as they walk by
Fire me a message that has some thought behind it that proves you've read this novel in detail and we're in business.I expect some level of civility, I'm not some rampaging hormone that will jump any guy that glances at me...although there are a few days out of the month like that.. I'm not easily gotten. Pretty Please put some effort into your message or at the very least use spell check.
The brief version: I'm comfortable with myself and expect the same....Attitude is key! It's how we get along that will determine how far the arrangement goes, because to be frank, if you don't do it for me mentally, we aren't doing ANYTHING physical.
Just because someone is willing to bang doesn't mean they're EASY to bang.
The first meet is always in a public place NO EXCEPTIONS
LOCAL ALWAYS WINS OVER DISTANCE
You're at the bottom of my things to do list. VERY BOTTOM. I've had too many arguments about why I am too busy to meet. A lot of stuff comes first in my Life before fun. Plain & simple.
Have a SUPER AWESOME DAY!!!
First Date
I buried the description down here at the bottom because I know not all you men read the profiles of women you message. Think of it as a treat or a warning what ever you wish.
Physical stuff: RED head currently, and in the past... we have moved from naturally Golden Retriever coloured to Irish Setter, with the assistance of Miss Clairol to cover the grey(started at 20). I don't understand the thing guys have for redheads.. I dyed my hair blonde for years to escape it.. now I just give up! As for the carpet matching the drapes...My house has hardwood floors, tile, carpet and white plastic blinds. Hope that answers your question. I am forever in the process of chopping all my hair off, and then regrowing it. If it's length matters, ask.
Green eyes (not that people look at my eyes first) and I wear glasses, can't manage to become comfortable jamming a hunk of plastic in my eye everyday just to be free of the spectacles.
Now I'm going to get a bit "ranty"
I'm not here to be your "sampler" girl.It's called hogging. We know about it. If you don't.. google it.
I put BBW up there because my measurements are 60-40-62(for the guy that thought I had a 60 inch neck that means chest-waist-hips!) "A few extra pounds" is not the term I'd use to describe me, more like "100 extra pounds". As of Jan 2012, I weigh 300 pounds & am in the gym EVERY DAMN DAY
I am working my way down to 200lbs and very happily there I'll stay. I do not have the body frame to be anything less than a size 18-20. The term brickshithouse comes to mind. Perfect example, one of my thighs is as big around as a waist..36 inches. Deal with it or move along.
Any of that "FAT girls are easy or desperate" stereotype will not fly here.
I'm FAT.... IN CAPS fat. It's pretty evident to me by my pics, I'm sorry if you were not observant enough to figure it out. I know there are health risks & I know there are views people have that differ from mine, so go ahead.. nag nag nag, but by the end of the rant I'm still fat & we're now fighting. I have a plan in place don't worry... but I'd also like to not lose my awesome tits.
We also have this idea that our bodies are only worth their value to other people. Guess what?
MY PERSONAL VALUE IS NOT DEPENDENT ON WHETHER OR NOT MEN WANT TO FVCK ME. I am willing to change nothing for you but my sexual position when my knees get sore.
Sadly, a few too many of you will stick your c0ck into anything willing to let you, and it kinds ruins it for the rest of us.
Physical stuff: RED head currently, and in the past... we have moved from naturally Golden Retriever coloured to Irish Setter, with the assistance of Miss Clairol to cover the grey(started at 20). I don't understand the thing guys have for redheads.. I dyed my hair blonde for years to escape it.. now I just give up! As for the carpet matching the drapes...My house has hardwood floors, tile, carpet and white plastic blinds. Hope that answers your question. I am forever in the process of chopping all my hair off, and then regrowing it. If it's length matters, ask.
Green eyes (not that people look at my eyes first) and I wear glasses, can't manage to become comfortable jamming a hunk of plastic in my eye everyday just to be free of the spectacles.
Now I'm going to get a bit "ranty"
I'm not here to be your "sampler" girl.It's called hogging. We know about it. If you don't.. google it.
I put BBW up there because my measurements are 60-40-62(for the guy that thought I had a 60 inch neck that means chest-waist-hips!) "A few extra pounds" is not the term I'd use to describe me, more like "100 extra pounds". As of Jan 2012, I weigh 300 pounds & am in the gym EVERY DAMN DAY
I am working my way down to 200lbs and very happily there I'll stay. I do not have the body frame to be anything less than a size 18-20. The term brickshithouse comes to mind. Perfect example, one of my thighs is as big around as a waist..36 inches. Deal with it or move along.
Any of that "FAT girls are easy or desperate" stereotype will not fly here.
I'm FAT.... IN CAPS fat. It's pretty evident to me by my pics, I'm sorry if you were not observant enough to figure it out. I know there are health risks & I know there are views people have that differ from mine, so go ahead.. nag nag nag, but by the end of the rant I'm still fat & we're now fighting. I have a plan in place don't worry... but I'd also like to not lose my awesome tits.
We also have this idea that our bodies are only worth their value to other people. Guess what?
MY PERSONAL VALUE IS NOT DEPENDENT ON WHETHER OR NOT MEN WANT TO FVCK ME. I am willing to change nothing for you but my sexual position when my knees get sore.
Sadly, a few too many of you will stick your c0ck into anything willing to let you, and it kinds ruins it for the rest of us.
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