I want friends, not "a special someone." (Yecch). Come on, folks - grown-up social behavior - not teenage-style dating or coy "courtship rituals." No "wooing" games.
Self-confident people give me pleasure, people who enjoy being exactly who they are, not desperate or seeking a "Mister Right" or a "soul mate" to make them complete. I hope you enjoy being real and being yourself and are already complete. Needy people who want a rescuer are not my thing. I can be a friend and a lover and a playmate but not looking to be a therapist or social worker and definitely not Prince Charming on a white horse, more likely a pirate.
Some things I used to do look dumb when I look back, kid stuff. Now I want life to be more satisfying. Right now I would like to find somebody to go to the opera with and wish she would invite me. I have enjoyed the pursuit of truth and goodness and this year intend to devote myself to seeking out beauty so I want to hear good music and view great art and explore the romantic poets. I have been pretty active and want now to take a look at the contemplative side of life.
Not into possessiveness. Some guys aim to bed somebody, get their rocks off and leave in the morning. I don't do that stuff. I can enjoy your company with or without any goal at all.
It doesn't freak me out if people are gay and I am not afraid of people who stand apart. In fact, I like nonconformists. Quite capable of sarcasm but not often since basically a kind courteous gentle guy.
I respect you as my equal. I admire people who won't be doormats and regret that so many people - especially women - are passive and reactive and needlessly submissive and wait for some authority to tell them what to do and what to be. I have no master and will not be anybody's master but your equal. Forever a learner, teacher and explorer. Will go halfway to meet anybody. A free man. Self-defined. I do not bow, kneel, beg, grovel, pray, petition, mooch or supplicate. I do not pander to anybody who expects me to plug into a ready-made role since I define roles for myself.
I think every day is a chance to be born all over again. "The world's great age begins anew; the golden years return. The earth doth like a snake renew her winter weeds outworn. ..." (That's Shelley).
An artist and lover, not a hunter. I don't pursue people or look on any human being as prey, a prize to be won in a contest, or a pet to be owned.
I don't dominate or "keep" people or submit to being dominated or "kept." Neither servant nor master, "Equal, unclassed, tribeless, and nationless, Exempt from awe, worship ... the king over himself; just, gentle, wise ... ... passionless? No, yet free from guilt ... Good, great and joyous, beautiful and free ..." (Shelley again.)
I respect people who have desires and ask directly for what they want. "You can't always get what you want, but if you try, sometimes you get what you need." (Mick Jagger.) People not afraid to hold opinions and express them. Who let others have their opinions too whether or not you agree with them.
I listen to exactly what you say right out in the open. Assumptions suck. I do not try to second-guess or "read between the lines." Prefer yes or no to "maybe" or "don't know," grown-up communication, not teenage-style coyness. Do not coax or expect to be coaxed; not into persuading or trying to make a sale, just responding honestly to expressed desires and hoping you respond honestly to mine. Let all people say what they want, to have desires, to make choices and responsibly accept consequences.
Won't be pushy or pursue, and wary of relationships in which one takes initiatives while the other just reacts. There is no law that says men must take initiatives while females sit by the phone to react but won't act. I don't know why so many women over 40 think they mustn't approach men yet sit back passively waiting: a red flag signal of a relationship with inequality.
This is 2010, not 1910, and you don't have to live by antiquated gender-role assumptions. I don't. You are what you choose to be, not what your parents said you "should" be. Jane Austen's fiction stories are fun but the world she describes is long gone.
I am a homebody, I don't enjoy driving around city streets or urban freeways, so I set the PoF filter for five miles from my zip code. Living downtown means most things I want are close by so I sold my car and don't regret it (well, o.k., most of the time). Big fan of beautiful Balboa Park and live near it. Let me buy you a tea at Café Bassam.
Get along well with most people but avoid smokers and creationists and Scientologists. Like being around people at peace with themselves and enjoy reality as well as things of the imagination. I have really enjoyed teaching astronomy; the universe is pretty amazing.
Enjoy old-fashioned romantic poetry. W. B. Yeats, Rupert Brooke and Rudyard Kipling and (who would have guessed?) Percy Bysshe Shelley.
Absolutely won't watch disaster-and-pain movies, and don't like to witness suffering. I do like creativity - Salvador Dali, and the weirdly original artists like Richard Serra and Cristo who stir the imagination. I love to hang at LACMA and the Gettys. William Blake's paintings and poems and Coleridge's poem "Kubla Khan."
Not into movies that pander to the sentimental fantasies of children and garbage like "Titanic" or Mel Gibson's "Passion" or degrading stuff like massacre movies or glorification of murderers. I like reality and I have grown up and intend to remain healthy in body and mind. I call "2001: Space Odyssey" best movie of all time and love Arthur C. Clarke's SF stories and movie scripts. Enjoyed Heinlein's "Stranger" but find Asimov heavy going.
I don't expect people to be anything they don't choose to be. I think it's fine for people to do whatever they like so long as they don't inflict costs on others.I love ocean, desert, High Sierra, lasagna, downpours of rain, people who survive challenges, long train trips, Trader Joe's. Shun air travel. Dislike Florida (too flat). Enjoy emails but not IMs (too instant.) Threw away my cell phone and dislike phones but like Skype video calls.
Long profile is intended to weed out television junkies with sound-bite attention spans. Still reading? Write me.