I'm 6'7" tall about 235 lbs. Not in great shape, but not a fat ass. I like to get crazy and wild when I have friends around, but I can be shy when I don't know anyone in the room. I can't really cornhole my style into one specific genre, but I'd describe it as mutant zombie cowboy gunslingers with lazerguns fighting robot monkeys in a post apocalyptic world not unlike earth, but far far away. I have a great sense of humor, I like to display my affection on those I deem suitable to accept it, and I hate sitting around being bored. I'm an artist, I play bass guitar-harmonica-concertina-tin whistle-nose flute-trombone-baritone-tuba-and kazoo, I'm buying a motorcycle soon, maybe I'll tell you more about myself later.
What I'm looking for:
I'm looking for a girl who likes to play dress up, and will dress me up, let me dress her up, and go out on the town looking fabulous/ rediculous/ frightening... whatever as long as its extreme. You need to be slightly more outgoing than me, perhaps even a bit of a loudmouth (just a bit!).I picture you being around 5'6" (give or take a couple inches) but you seem taller because you have a thing for big chunky boots (I mean, I've got a thing for big chunky boots, so why shouldn't you?). Striped stockings is one of my big things too. You like to wear skirts that show off your legs, which some people might think are a little thick but you and I think are just perfect. When you wear glasses you wear thick black frames, but you've DIY'd some little skulls or something on them to make them different than all the emo girls. Ideally you've got straight black hair and prefer a page-boy cut, and take good care of your hair. Perfect oral hygene isn't mandatory but you've got to have all of your front teeth and brush enough that your breath doesn't stink daily. Daily showers are pretty essential though. Smoking is becoming a no-no the longer I stay quit so If you're a smoker you have to be planning on quitting. You need gothic sensibilities to your fasion. I'm not a happy sunshine person, and I don't want to date a happy sunshine person, but if you're depressed all the time its just as bad. Its all about the bitter and sarcastic wise cracks, ladies. I like to go out on the town and make fun of other people, because thats how we (yes you too) deal with our low self esteem.
You had better like sex. Not just having it but talking about it and watching people have it. Within reason. And you have to be willing to show my dad your boobs, because my dad is my dad, and d*mnit he *DESERVES* to see some nice boobs every now and then.
You need to be old enough to go to bars, but if you have kids who are old enough to go to bars you're too old for me. Or If you have kids who are closer to my age than you are. Generally kids are a drawback... but If they are cute and well behaved I'll love 'em. Ideally you'll love kids but say you never want any of your own. (In reality you want some when you're 40 but you'd never admit that out loud, in fact you're scoffing at this statement right now in denial of your biological clock.
Drama is not just a draw back, its a straight up deal breaker. if you make mountains out of molehills, or even mountains out of rather large hills, you can take that crap out of my personal space. I can accept making molehills out of spilled salt, I suppose, but only if its toungue in cheek. Enjoying the rediculousness of life is essential. In fact if you're reading this personal without a giggle or at least a smirk, go away. I mean it, don't even read on.
I'm in a bicycle co-op. We ride restored old bicycles and we drink and laugh and hang out. You better like to ride bikes, too. And you better like to ride bikes with my friends. We are a package deal. You don't have to love my friends the way I do, but you'll have to like them enough to hang out with them and me. None of this "either youre hanging out with your friends or you're hanging out with your me" crap. You gotta be one of my friends. I mean got-to-be.
I'll add more as time goes on.
Play it by ear. I dig chaos way too much to make plans.
But in failure of a good idea for the evening I'd probably be in favor of checking out a band, a bar, and maybe some late night dinner, definitely a nice long walk.
In fact, if you don't like to walk, don't bother getting ahold of me.
Because I love it.
Walking that is.
Its good sh*t.
Gets you places cheap and you get to see everything along the way. Likes buildings and trees and weeds and bums and graffiti and old houses and gardens and awesome retro neon signs and strange lawn ornaments and etcetera etcetera etcetera.
Definitely would involve a walk.
Or a bicycle ride.
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