ColonelIngus: So you fell off the Luv Boat and nobody noticed...
Non-Smoker with Athletic body type
Montrose, Colorado
53 year old Male, 5' 10" (178cm), Non-religious
Caucasian, Leo
ColonelIngus is actively seeking a relationship.
Graduate Degree
Leisure time consultant

User has private images

I am Seeking a Woman For Dating
Needs Test View his relationship needs Chemistry View his chemistry results
Do you drink? Socially Do you want children? Undecided/Open
Marital Status Single Do you do drugs? No
Hair Color Blond(e) Eye Color Blue
Do you have a car? Yes Do you have children? No
Longest Relationship Over 7 years How ambitious are you? Somewhat Ambitious
Pets Cat Second Language French

About -for an election lasting more than 4 hours
"Witty and entertaining." - NY TIMES

Best Singles Ad Headline Ever Award (2014)
"You: fussy pun. Me: cunning linguist."

The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what may seem elusive but is attainable, a perpetual series of occasions for heightened attention, surprise, and excitement.

Romance is when a woman has woman-power over a man, and to her delight becomes the most important thing to him.

Hi, I'm a lighthearted hiker, skier, mountain biker, former athlete, easy to talk to, photography and wildflower buff, trained/experienced masseur, with custom table and dedicated climate controlled space, for the best date ever. lol

I'm like the fun free-spirited stressless date that is halfway between a vacation from your everyday life and a luxurious personal spa session. :) Life pulls you apart, massage puts you back together again.

If you tell yourself "It's time now to put myself first...", TLC and "me time" is the gift a woman gives herself. Happy girls are the prettiest.

You: Personable, healthy, pleasant, good communication skills.
Me: ditto; speaks sexual innuendo fluently

"I'm told my crazy factor is only at a 4 and my fun factor is at least a 7..." lol
You: About a 1-3 and 4-5 on the two scales, but wanting to up your score(s).

I'm actually really old-fashioned and prefer the ancient Sugar/Spice scale;
with more of the latter and not too much of the former. Note: that's a zero
on the Sour scale. No Negative Nancy's.

Chinese women now get to have two husbands (maybe you heard) but women here
have to make do and get by with only minimal care and attention in that department
-- unless they're lucky -- because there's only so much Colonel Ingus to go around.
So chill and don't h8 if I missed your special snowflakeness in the local avalanche.

Data. You want data? Of course you want data...

Ages of the last thirty who have shown an interest in Colonel Ingus:
50 29 40 39 41 43 44 36 48 43 24 43 47 45 56 47 43 46 27 42 35 48 28 27 46 32 29 45 32 39
Mean: 39.8 years (plus or minus 8 yrs)
80% range: 28½ to 49 years, with 4 younger, 2 older

So, basically, all women. Meaning: no, you're not weird at all.
Like the song says, don't get weird on me, babe.

Smart strong women are intrigued and excited, the rest intimidated.

My priority? Titanic rules prevail, so it's newbies, beginners, and bikini sunbathers first, and after that every woman for herself.

Either way, kiss Sleeping Beauty goodbye.

Or should I say K.I.S.S.?
Keep It Simple, Silly.
If you can get one thing out of a date or relationship you're way ahead of the curve.

Kissing trivia: 97% of women close their eyes while kissing, as opposed to only 30% of men.
Androgens (male hormones) present in saliva cause a kiss to deliver an instant biochemical charge, since a woman has less of these to begin with.

Especially if you're past your mid-30's you need testosterone to maintain vital hormonal balance. It is both an energizer and fat eater, the only specific weight loss approach that actually works around and below your belly button. "I felt more relaxed, happier in my body than I had my whole life" and "If anything, 'T' may be a source of calmness, contentedness, and friendliness".
You want a man who understands a woman needs a man more than the other way around. Freedom is willingness toward necessity.

Don't be the girl who goes back to school in the Fall and has to explain to everyone "Colonel Ingus came calling, but I scared him off...".

Jun 2016

First Date
I like to avoid first date unpleasantness by not having them and instead zipping off together to Disneyland, where you used to get a book with tickets for ten or a dozen rides, not just one. This also takes all the pressure off the first one having to be the best, which you wouldn't want anyway. And no one's having to audition for a second or third. This is one of several dating calmly and how-to-be-outrageously-successful-with-the-other-s-e-x techniques I like. Plus, practice makes perfect. lol

After that we'll know each other a lot better, have had a ton of fun, and can decide whether to stay another day or go off and try something else. Friends last, you know. Fortune cookie say: the only rose without a thorn is friendship.

Always be sure to take a masseur with you out sight-seeing, hiking, camping, to the festival, etc. :)

If you're some distance from here but like to really get away from it all and travel for a few days, the chateau here doubles as a special retreat, basecamp, amusement park - for one. It has it's own guestroom w/private bath, it's very quiet and relaxing here (no cable, I-Net, or roommates). You're free to do as you like. I enjoy meeting you delightfully unique and quirky women from around the area. Plan in advance.

Please put this on your profile if you know anyone who's been eaten by sharks:



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Age Between:24 and 46.
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