ColonelIngus: Do Something Wild for Colorado Wildlife
Non-Smoker with Athletic body type
Montrose, Colorado
53 year old Male, 5' 10" (178cm), Non-religious
Caucasian, Leo
ColonelIngus is actively seeking a relationship.
Graduate Degree
Leisure time consultant

User has private images

I am Seeking a Woman For Dating
Needs Test View his relationship needs Chemistry View his chemistry results
Do you drink? Socially Do you want children? Undecided/Open
Marital Status Single Do you do drugs? No
Hair Color Blond(e) Eye Color Blue
Do you have a car? Yes Do you have children? No
Longest Relationship Over 7 years How ambitious are you? Somewhat Ambitious
Pets Cat Second Language French

About -for elections lasting more than 4 hours!
"Witty and entertaining." - NY TIMES

If you think you're going to like this sort of thing, you'll love this... yahh-roo-giddee-up without the sleepiness, nausea, fatigue, or fainting when mixed with alcohol!!

The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what may seem elusive but is attainable, a perpetual series of occasions for heightened attention, surprise, and excitement.

Lighthearted hiker, skier, mountain biker, former athlete, easy to talk to, photography and wildflower buff, trained/experienced masseur, with custom table and dedicated climate controlled space.

I'm like the fun free-spirited stressless date that is halfway between a vacation from your everyday life and a luxurious personal spa session. :) Life pulls you apart, massage puts you back together again.

If you tell yourself "It's time now to put myself first...", TLC and "me time" is the gift a woman gives herself. Happy girls are the prettiest. Pack a beach bag.

* Why no pic?
- Besides being an advocate (kinda) for old-fashioned blindfolded dating, if my photo was public you'd only write and tell me I have the most bluest, piercing eyes, that they look right through you and it completely melts your heart. lol
Recent review: "You are very handsome." - Margaret (45, Canon City).
Honestly, I can't go to restaurants because every third or fourth waitress gets the breathless butterflies, and messes up the order or the bill.
Just the other day I stopped at the park bench to check messages, and within a few minutes a woman walked by and asked if she could sit down there also; before I could nod and put my earbugs back in she was informing me of her sore shoulder, some back issues she had, and where she lived in such-and-such a house a block and a half away... I guess I just have that look: women hone in on and pick me up like that everywhere I go, so now you I-Net lonelyhearts have the same opportunity! lol

* "I joke that if you gave me my own man tomorrow I wouldn't know what to do w/him." ... "I'm not talking about meeting my prince, I can't even get a date with a guy I don't want to go out with!"
- Such ambivalence can be crushing. It almost always turns out that you never had your own Ken doll to just play with, so you have a long list of questions and curiosities you've long wondered about -- get a pencil and paper -- and need an unbreakable model to experiment on at your leisure..

* Kissing trivia: 97% of women close their eyes while kissing, as opposed to only 30% of men. Androgens (male hormones) present in saliva cause a kiss to deliver an instant biochemical charge, since a woman has less of these to begin with.

* "Boys my age just don't know how to handle a woman like me!" ... i can b fiesty and i need someone who can keep up and b able to keep me on my toes"?
- Sorry that they don't consider you an adult, and you have to have an older gal pal msg me 4u. Yes, every 26 or 32 y.o. should skip ahead to the end of the book once for a peek, `cause men can age like wine. Don't forget to learn and zombie sleepwalk until you're past 30, 35, or eegads 40. Once you're back out there kissing with confidence it'll be you handling them! With probably 80% or more of your competition thinking like hookers and hos in terms of maximizing return on s-e-x, you'll make out like a bandit w/men.

* Interesting factoid: While redheads are only 1-2% of all women, they're more than half my messages. What should you know that they already do?

* "I've heard... is it true that the noticeable tummy bulge I've grown below my belly button is because I'm no longer getting any of my needed testosterone?"
- Yes, absolutely, you need "T" to restore vital hormonal balance. It is both an energizer and fat eater, so you can figure on maybe 1/3 lb lost per 30-45 minute application session. This is the only specific weight loss technique that actually works. "I felt more relaxed, happier in my body than I had my whole life" and "If anything, testosterone may be a source of calmness, contentedness, and friendliness". With two mouths, each requires special attention, care, and feeding. You want a man who understands a woman needs a man more than the other way `round.

* "Sleeping Beauty is a bit of a wild mess... what I find I most need this time of year is an expert trim..."
- Yes, there are some things you really can't take care of very well by yourself. There's nothing like a new padoodle-doo to leave you feeling like a completely new woman.

* "How about us 50 Shades enthusiasts, hmmm?"
- You can call me "Chris" for short... Ever heard of Area 51? I'll take you there. mwaahahaa!

If the fizz hasn't gone out of you and the thought gives you a tingle, give me a jingle.

The way I look at it is that every personable, healthy, pleasant woman has the right -- my job being to make it as simple and uncomplicated as possible for you to exercise yours. More choice, more freedom. See, the Establishment doesn't want you to because they know it's fun and feels great, and if you and everyone else can do that without them, then what does anybody need them for making everyone feel scared and bad all the time? Mmmm? Beats going through the dating motions, expecting lightning or magic to strike, and never getting to the good stuff. :)

If you don't look at all like your photo when we meet, you have to buy me drinks until you do.

I understand... how many strawberry-blondes are you likely to meet who were left with one of Teri Hatcher's dresses? ('Sidra' from the famous Seinfeld episode!) You can see for yourself (kindof) that, yes, they were spectacular. Very. lol
And it's no glass slipper but if you send me your complete measurements I can tell you whether there's any chance you'll ever get to try it on. :) As usual, if they don't check out you have to buy me drinks until they do!

I understand... it's not easy turning up a guy who has been taught and trained by women, and for women, how to best serve you (-and takes dating advice from Sean Penn), hasn't been burned by one, and so is still on their side and likes them (you) - yes, inner beauties, big behind, thunder thighs, freckles, angel fluff, and all!

Q: "I look and look, but I never attract a man I like. It seems like the flighty, fancy women get all the good men. I'm not a good flirt, it feels like Chinese water torture! How do you become a big flirt? The trouble is, I like men, but I'm blunt and more intelligent than most of them. I am fairly cute and petite, but that works against me because no one expects me to also have a strong personality. Help!

First Date
I like to avoid first date unpleasantness by not having them and instead zipping off together to Disneyland, where you used to get a book with tickets for ten or a dozen rides, not just one. This also takes all the pressure off the first one having to be the best, which you wouldn't want anyway. And no one's having to audition for a second or third. This is one of several dating calmly and how-to-be-outrageously-successful-with-the-other-s-e-x techniques I like. Plus, practice makes perfect. lol

After that we'll know each other a lot better, have had a ton of fun, and can decide whether to stay another day or go off and try something else. Friends last, you know. Fortune cookie say: the only rose without a thorn is friendship.

Always be sure to take a masseur with you sight-seeing, hiking, camping, or to the festival. :)

If you're some distance from here but like to really get away from it all and travel for a few days, the chateau here doubles as a special retreat, basecamp, amusement park - for one. It has it's own guestroom w/private bath, it's very quiet and relaxing here (no cable, I-Net, or roommates). You're free to do as you like. I enjoy meeting you delightfully unique and quirky women from around the area. Plan in advance.

Please put this on your profile if you know anyone who's been eaten by sharks:



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