I believe in The Golden Rule: one receives as one
gives, just as in any other facet of life. It's a cliche', yes,
but if you want friends, then you have to be a friend.
Like you, I'm careful about who I introduce myself to.
I know better than to search for perfection; that only
exists on TV. In the commercials. How a person looks is
far less important than how that person is. (Yes, I admit
it, I'm a personality fetishist!).
If you have children, I shall treat them, the most
important people in your life, with the respect that they
I'm a bit of a loner (see also: quirkyalone). Don't let that
throw you. It only means that I don't believe in coupling up
just to not be single. To further clarify, I'm not shopping
for a wife. This definitely doesn't mean
that I don't have or want friends. (Hey, if I really were a
total loner, what would I be doing here?).
I tend to like the kinds of things
which are usually done on one's own, things like writing,
and doing art.
While I know that it isn't a good idea to disclose your
bad habits to a prospective date this early on, I spend a
good chunk of my time on music - collecting it, listening
to it, finding out more about it. One of my ideas of a
good time is to spend an afternoon, alone or with a
friend, "digging" through a bin of used records or
CDs in a record shop, a thrift shop or a garage sale.
I like classic rock, and newer stuff too. There's just as
much room on my shelves for Coldcut, DJ Spooky,
Edgard Varese and Negativland as there is for The Ramones,
Frank Zappa, John Fahey or James Brown. I've loved
electronic music ever since I heard my first Moog
synthesizer. "Digging" has taught me one thing - if you want to discover
something new and interesting, you have to keep an open
mind. You have to look where most people probably
don't bother to look.
I've been working with electronics since I was about 8.
As a kid, I was my family's go-to guy whenever a TV or
toaster went on the blink. I'm composing this essay on a
salvaged and self-refurbished Dell. I've assembled entire
stereo systems from garage-sale, thrift shop and curbside
I love shooting pictures. It's amazing how much there is
to observe, even in one's home town on a typical day, not
just flowers and sunsets but the way
sunlight plays at certain times of day on things
and places you might take for granted otherwise. I love art
galleries, especially those that show photography or
unusual types of art. The most amazing music
doesn't always happen in arenas but at performances in
I've worked on political campaigns, some victorious,
some not. I've campaigned for universal access to health
care, and clean elections (hey, I love hopeless causes!).
I like documentaries, the ones which use humor
and anecdotes to drive home a point, rather than purely
instructional ones. I won't say no to a comedy which
doesn't rely on locker-room humor (well, not too much
of it anyway!). I like science-fiction movies; I might
watch the Star Trek movies or TV shows if there's
nothing else, but I'd prefer something like THX-1138,
Clockwork Orange, Fantastic Planet or the original
Russian version of Solaris.
The kind of person I look for, in or out of the dating
circuit, is someone who's smart, well-adjusted (well,
reasonably well-adjusted anyway!). It
is said (and said quite a bit here, it seems) that we men are
only about one thing. While I certainly will admit to
being very interested in it, man does not live by that
one thing alone! Whatever might or might not
happen between us, I know that respect is your first, non-
negotiable point, just as it is mine.
My only restrictions are:
No married women, please, unless you’re part of a
No heavy-duty drugs.
No flim-flam. I respect your intelligence,
just as I hope you will respect mine.
I'm looking forward to corresponding with you!
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
Shy as I am, I'd probably do a lot of stammering and feeling awkward and perhaps a bit of fidgeting. Don't be put-off, that's normal for me!
Depending upon our chemistry, I'd probably loosen up as the evening, day or morning progressed. Something informal like coffee might be a pleasant way to get to know one another. After that, a walk, a drive, a movie, or whatever else we might agree upon. If you have any suggestions of your own, let's hear them!