Why should you date me?
Sometimes I'm funny.
I shower at least once a day.
I have my own toothbrush.
I'm potty trained.
It's better than watching paint dry.
I don't take candy from strangers.
I learned how to make my own sandwiches.
I hardly get ice cream headaches anymore.
I do my math homework sober; I never drink and derive.
I'm no worse than most guys, maybe better than some.
I will administer chocolate whenever needed.
Very seldom do I forget where I live.
I rarely pick fights with inanimate objects.
When I jump into the air, I always remember to come back down.
I give awesome back rubs.
I know how to properly use a semi-colon, and I rarely make comma splices while writing.
I don't turn into a werewolf during a full moon, or sparkle in sunlight.
No one would try to steal me from you.
I snatch kisses and vice-versa.
I read and understand terms and agreements.
I do my own laundry.
When I go to Burger King, I have it my way.
I only bind and torture girls if they ask me to.
I know the difference between their, they're and there.
I would always opt out when when my siblings wanted to play "Let's hide Grandpa's false teeth".
I would never smoke or drink if I were pregnant.
I only pursue the best.
I would let you touch my butt.
I bet you can't think of thirty reasons why you shouldn't
Ask me random sh*t and follow me anonymously. I love internet stalkers.
My ideal date entails going to the mall and holding her purse while she tries on clothes.
“If you’re not scared then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance then what the hell are you doing anyway?”
- Ted Mosby
"I'm used to starving out instead. It's easier than faking it"
- Marianas Trench
"There's enough bullshi7 in the world without my help"
- Tom (500 Days of Summer)
"Are you warm, are you real, Monalisa?
Or just a cold and lonely, lovely work of art?"
- Conway Twitty
"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."
- Albert Camus
"Don't be afraid to die. To die would be an awfully big adventure" - Peter Pan
"If a girl accepts an invitation to count the tiles on your bedroom ceiling, then she probably will be disappointed when she realizes you were speaking literally." - Fletcher Wortmann
I do not have an extended profile. Do not upgrade your account.
It's a trap!