What you find here is a healthy, employed, brave, brainy, eccentric, literate, loyal, faithful, curious, confident, playful, home-owning, gun-toting, fairly mellow, gum-chewing, book-reading, cat-owning (2), tattooed lady! My work hours are unconventional (2nd shift 5p-1a), so I am letting you know that right up front.
Hi! I'm here to date locals. Hopefully a man who can have a conversation about something other than sex and all the extreme sports he's into. It surprises me to see how many men in my age range are fascinated by these subjects, apparently living a Vin Diesel lifestyle, yet they all look like Peter on Family Guy. Interesting, the gap between who people say they are and who they really are....
Again, I'm here to DATE locals. Not email indefinitely because you're "scared" and keep breaking dates. If your'e too cowardly to meet a woman for a cup of coffee, please, close down your profile and go see a therapist, and quit wasting everyone's time.
Apparently I’m very attractive to guys on disability. You think you’re sly, but we all know that anyone on a dating site who claims to be “self-employed” or an “entrepreneur”, is actually living off the taxpayers. Your life consists of shuttling between healthcare providers and Walmart, socializing and spatting with your government housing neighbors, and abusing substances on the downlow. One of your fantasies is to find a woman like me to support you and upgrade your lifestyle. In exchange you offer…the “pleasure” of your company and lots of greedy neediness 24/7. No thanks, fellas, I’m not the woman to magically make your life all better, move on. The tune “Nothing from nothing leaves nothing” says it all, give it a listen.
I'm seeking someone fairly similar with some of my interests; so that we may depart the dreary seduction of technology, cast aside these tedious cyberspace dating rituals, and go off the grid for awhile - indulging one another in long discussions, exploratory travels, playful romps, and passionate cuddles.
Dealbreakers: Locals only please (within 50 miles or less - do you really want to drive more than an hour every time we have a date?). Caucasians only, please. No parents of young kids, please.
I feel pretty strongly about some political issues, I have participated in the March against Monsanto here in Chattanooga. I've had it with corporate greed destroying every aspect of our lives. So if you're all about corporate or personal greed and exploiting anything and everything for profit, I am not the match for you. If you think making a rich guy richer is going to save the world or improve anything for anybody besides that rich guy, I don't even want a conversation with you, please leave quietly. Also, if you are full of hate and fear regarding anybody or anything, get therapy and get back to me when you're all better.
Oooh, these cliches around here are driving me nuts! Let's play the opposite game with them, for fun. What if the next profile read:
I like liars, cheaters and people with baggage! I love bad music and my kids don't matter to me at all. I never go to church and Christ comes last; because Jesus has let me down and I live every day to spite him. I like to go outdoors but only in order to transit from one indoors to the next. I'm looking for my second and next-to-last. Actually I just plan to date for a couple more decades, then panic and marry the most unsuitable person I can find so I won't die alone. If you want to know something don't ask, because if I didn't put it here its none of your business. I hate my pets and wish you would come shoot them, or better yet, bring yours over and we can watch them fight to the death and then shoot the winners. I want someone who has no similar interests so we can fight all the time about what to do next. I want nothing to do with my family, and especially want nothing to do with your family, so don't ask unless you want me to start dating some of them and dump you. Let's play games and break each other's heart, I just love it when that happens! I must say it absolutely has not happened to me enough yet! I hope you are incompatible and really unattractive to me, that's what I'm really looking for here so that when I use you for a punching bag I will feel justified. My idea of a perfect date is my car breaks down on the way to pick you up, we take a taxi to go eat bad, overpriced food while I listen to you rant about your ex, then we take a walk in a bad neighborhood so I can unimpress you with my self-defense skills. Before you get out of the taxi at the end of the night, I will grab you and try to ram my tongue down your throat, then never contact you again. Then we can gag every time we see each other's picture on a dating site! I'm a pessimist and I think the glass is always half full of sewage, and that life is for not living. I try to make the least of every day, live each moment to the least amount possible (I'm pacing myself), and I'm the death of the party! Looking for someone completely unlike me so I can criticize their every choice and rain on their every parade! Then when you've given up everything you love to please me, I can tell you you've changed and I've fallen out of love with you and have found someone else who is exactly the way you used to be when I met you. So let's stroll off into the sunrise together, squinting and cursing the glare and blaming one another for not making the coffee.
My idea of a nightmare: A cyber-relationship that consists entirely of typing by every electronic means currently invented. We email, IM, chat, text, send telegrams, and type up notes that say "Do you like me? Circle Yes or NO." and send them via snail mail to one another's office. Our first date consists of sitting at opposite ends of a coffee shop with our backs to one another, and video chatting/typing at each other via laptops whilst instructing the waitress to take that person "way over there" another latte. When one of us walks past the other to go to the restroom, we toss them our Garmin so they can program in their address so we can order flowers online to thank them for this date. If all that sounds good to you, goodbye and good luck!
How I'd really like it to go: We email a couple times to establish interest. We exchange phone numbers. We SPEAK (not TYPE) over the phone and establish when and where to meet. On a first date I would like to meet for coffee and see if there is any chemistry. Either the spark is there or not, right? I don't expect anybody to drop a huge chunk of change to find that out - when a quick, cheap cup of coffee is just as efficient.
On a subsequent date wouldn't it be fun to.....
1) Run down to Savannah for a long weekend of sightseeing and romance.
2) Run up to Nashville and go to BB King’s House of Blues
3) Walk the bridge at night and tell each other the highlights of our lives
4) Go to a flea market and count the fleas
5) Show me some of your favorite places to go