Hi, I'm Toasteroven (not my real name).
I'm 40 years old, divorced, & I need to lose about 15 lbs. I work way too much & I'm starting school again because I'm bored. I love classic horror movies & I read a lot. I also can write, do math, & cook. I brush my teeth & shower every day.
I have a good job & although I'm not rich, I'm comfortable.
I work at night & sleep during the day. That makes meeting people a problem. I'm happy with my life, except that it would be nice to have a woman in it - you know, to do dishes & wipe me off after I eat. Just kidding.
It would be good to have someone to share a life with. Someone to watch old monster movies with, hang out with, have brunch with on Sundays, go to dinner with, have coffee with, go on vacation with, go to the movies with, etc..
READ THIS: I have a large collection of things that you don't see everyday - ouija boards, skulls, creepy old photos, monster movie posters, a huge wolf skin rug, a coffee table made out of a coffin, swords, Roman artifacts, an atomic brain, relics of saints, sideshow gaffs, etc.. They are INCLUDED with me as a BONUS.
My photo is from last year. I'm having trouble uploading a new one, I think it's too big or something. Anyway, I my hair is a little longer & I have more facial hair.
WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR?
I'm looking for a nice girl with huge breasts.
Just kidding, she doesn't have to be nice.
That was a joke.
I'm really looking for a smart, funny, attractive girl between 28 & 42 years old who can hold a conversation, wants a long term relationship, & is not a nut.
Turn ons -
Sense of humor, smart, friendly, good manners, well read, romantic, artistic, sexy, smells good, can work as a team in a relationship, likes Halloween, wide ranging interests, girls who admit that they masturbate, good cook, likes children & animals,
Turn offs -
Humorless, rude, bad manners, no sex drive, braided underarm hair, abusive, smelly,
owes money to pimp, doesn't bathe, spiders living in hair, angry all the time, alchoholic, drug addict, girl with a penis, hates children & animals,.....