My friend and I are at the library working. I wander off for a few minutes
to come back to see that a young guy has taken a seat at our table and is
actively HITTING on my friend.
Looking at her blue hair, he said something like, "Girls I date have to have piercings or died hair."
(I find this attempt at portraying interest a bit obvious and lacking class. As well as bit childish of a point of view.)
To that I say to him:
That's a bit shallow don't you think? I mean, sure, dress the way you want. But dressing a certain
way isn't always for self expression. Sometimes you dress a certain way because you have to
be considerate of the people who have to look at you all day. I wear vests and ties a lot, but I also listen to a
hell of a lot of metal and Gothic-industrial.
He blankly stares at me. I am not sure he got my point.
Jinx... I don't know how she finds this kind of bullsh!t amusing.
Something casual. Gymnastics, skating, origami, tea with the mad hatter.
Something that avoids the awkward silences that can be present when you
are first acclimating to a new person.
Since you've already met me and can now be re-assured I am not a psychopath,
maybe a trip to visit my awesome tire swing. Or a picnic in the woods.
Or, some other type of adventure. Maybe help me fix my fort by the railroad
tracks that has been recently inhabited by bums...
Maybe... Help me steal a recycling bin and put it in said bum fort and see
if those bums are considerate enough to NOT throw their beer cans all over
the place when the proper receptacle has been provided.
I take you out to dinner. Because after the second date you are worried
that I am a cheap-ass because I fed you picnic food.
Three, being the minimum needed to create a pattern, means that I have now
been labeled as that guy who "does too much for you and does not give you a
chance to reciprocate". Understanding this, I grant you the honor of cooking
for me. If said cooking ends up unpalatable by either party, Chinese food is on you.
I feel remorse for using you as a cooking slave. So I offer you a back massage at
no charge to relieve the stress of cooking for someone you barely know. Maybe
we make out. Maybe you fall asleep on me because I am just that good at making you
I convince you to get in a hot tub with me. I convince you that it is good for
alleviating stress on your spine. You know whats really going on in my head and
show up in a 1950's style 1-piece bathing suit instead of the 2-peice I expected.
I see that I've been foiled and ask if I am allowed to grope you as a consolation prize.
From that point on I expect either excellent chemistry or an awkward conversation about
the non-existant weather in the night sky.