I have this serious problem called "reading people's profiles before I message them".
It takes up a lot of my time.
For every person I message on here, I must make one in-person introduction with another stranger in the real world.
The stranger in the real world must come first. People approaching me do NOT count. I will keep a tally of the # of messages I am allowed to send on this site.
Statistically, people are less likely to follow through with plans when they announce them to the world.
There is a TED talk on it somewhere. Though I plan on using this more as a commitment device by keeping
it here as a reminder of what I must do.
Something casual. Gymnastics, skating, origami, tea with the mad hatter.
Something that avoids the awkward silences that can be present when you
are first acclimating to a new person.
Since you've already met me and can now be re-assured I am not a psychopath,
maybe a trip to visit my awesome tire swing. Or a picnic in the woods.
Or, some other type of adventure. Maybe help me fix my fort by the railroad
tracks that has been recently inhabited by bums...
Maybe... Help me steal a recycling bin and put it in said bum fort and see
if those bums are considerate enough to NOT throw their beer cans all over
the place when the proper receptacle has been provided.
I take you out to dinner. Because after the second date you are worried
that I am a cheap-ass because I fed you picnic food.
Three, being the minimum needed to create a pattern, means that I have now
been labeled as that guy who "does too much for you and does not give you a
chance to reciprocate". Understanding this, I grant you the honor of cooking
for me. If said cooking ends up unpalatable by either party, Chinese food is on you.
I feel remorse for using you as a cooking slave. So I offer you a back massage at
no charge to relieve the stress of cooking for someone you barely know. Maybe
we make out. Maybe you fall asleep on me because I am just that good at making you
I convince you to get in a hot tub with me. I convince you that it is good for
alleviating stress on your spine. You know whats really going on in my head and
show up in a 1950's style 1-piece bathing suit instead of the 2-peice I expected.
I see that I've been foiled and ask if I am allowed to grope you as a consolation prize.
From that point on I expect either excellent chemistry or an awkward conversation about
the non-existant weather in the night sky.