I'm a 33yr old hypnotherapist, and like most 33yr old hypnotherapists I enjoy a variety of activities.
I begin each morning being mesmerised by myself in the mirror. I then hypnotise my kittens into bringing me my clothes, my breakfast, and the morning paper. I really don't know what I'd do without them.
I'm constantly working on new ways how to hypnotise my patients most effectively, so that they can enjoy their lives.. and agree to give me all their belongings. I'm a perfectionist, and I will not stop until I have all of their belongings.. including their kittens.
In my spare time, I produce, write and occasionally act in short films, with puppies in them.
What am I doing with my life?
- Collecting stamps in my passport all over the world, I currently have 10.
- Writing books about how the mind works, collaborating with a porn star (not in the way you're thinking), she was famous in the 90s..
- Hypnotising groups of people into doing crazy things, in numerous different cities, for the entertainment of my fans.
- Pitching my life changing ideas on Dragon's Den, but they were not ready for change..
- Fostering a variety of animals including hamsters, budgies, fish, turtles and rabbits.. but settling on cats.. they make better slaves.
- Travelling to the edge of insanity and back.
- Running a hypnotherapy clinic where everyone leaves a little poorer, but a happy bunny.
- Eating anything that once had a pulse, I have eaten at every fine restaurant in Toronto.
Movies: The Star Wars Holiday Special. Battlefield Earth. Ice Station Zebra. Spice World.
Books: Masturbation For Dummys. Colouring books that prominently feature unicorns on cover.
Music: Creed, Hanson, The Jonas Brothers, Spin Doctors.. and Creed.