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¸.•´ ¸.•*`•» LISA'S PAGE ......XXX
25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a single bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 7:00 am is when you get up, not when you get in.
5. You hear your favourite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the News and Weather Channels.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up"
8. You go from 130 days of holidays to 20.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those f**king kids next door
won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
13. You feed your dog diet Pal instead of McDonalds leftovers
14. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
15. You take naps from noon to 6 pm.
16. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one
17. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 am would severely upset, rather
than settle, your stomach.
18. If you're a girl, you go to the drug chemist for ibuprofen and antacid,
not condoms and pregnancy tests.
19. A £2.99 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
20. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
21. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to
drink that much again."
22. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
23. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
24. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't
apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt!
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of
asking "Oh s**t - what happened?
Just for a minute, forget everything stressful and read
Close your eyes and go back in time...
Before the Internet...
Before semi-automatics, joyriders and crack....
Before SEGA or Super Nintendo...
I'm talking about Hide and Seek in the park.
The corner shop.
Football with an old can.
Beano, Dandy, Buster, Twinkle and Dennis the Menace.
Hula Hoops, jumping the stream, building dams.
The smell of the sun and fresh cut grass.
Bazooka Joe bubble gum.
An ice cream cone on a warm summer night from the van that plays a tune.
Chocolate or vanilla or strawberry or maybe Neapolitan or perhaps
Watching Saturday morning cartoons, short commercials or the flicks.
Children's Film Foundation, The Double Deckers, Red Hand Gang,
Tomorrow People, Banana splits, Tiswas or Swapshop?, and 'Why Don't You'? - or
staying up for Doctor Who.
When around the corner seemed far away and going into town seemed like going somewhere.
Earwigs, wasps, stinging nettles and bee stings.
Playing Marbles. Ball bearings. Big 'uns and Little 'uns.
Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians, and Zorro.
Making igloos out of snow banks.
Walking to school, no matter what the weather.
Running till you were out of breath, laughing so hard that your stomach hurt.
Jumping on the bed. Pillow fights.
Spinning around on roundabouts, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.
Making Dens. Climbing Trees.
Being tired from playing....remember that?
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.
Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.
Football cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.
Choppers and Grifters.
Eating raw jelly. Orange squash ice pops. Vimto and Jubbly lollies
There were two types of trainers - girls and boys, and Dunlop
Green Flash. The only time you wore them at School was for P.E.
And they were called gym shoes or if you are older - plimsoles
You knew everyone in your street - and so did your parents.
It wasn't odd to have two or three 'best' friends.
You didn't sleep a wink on Christmas Eve.
When nobody owned a pure-bred dog.
When 25p was decent pocket money
Curly Whirlys. Space Dust. Toffo's. Spangles. Mojo's.
Wham Bars. Bubble Gum in little sacks. Top Trumps.
When you'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.
When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him or use him to
carry groceries and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.
When being sent to the head's office was nothing compared to the
fate that awaited a misbehaving pupil at home.
Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs etc.
Decisions were made by going 'Ip, Dip, Dog Shit'
Race issue' meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in Monopoly
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was germs.
And the worst thing in your day was having to sit next to one.
It was unbelievable that 'British Bulldog 123' wasn't an Olympic event.
Having a weapon in school, meant being caught with a catapult.
Nobody was prettier than Mum.
Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.
Taking drugs meant orange-flavoured chewable aspirin.
Ice cream was considered a basic food group.
Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.
Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors.
If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED.
3 DESIDERATA 3
-- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s --
Not "Found in Old St. Paul's Church"! -- see below
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
***************** update ***********************
due to popular demand and request and more ideas i am updatng some more things.......
saturday mornings watching timmy mallet,
batter bits from the local chippy
bottles of coke that were actually made of glass and not plastic!
knocking on a neighbours door and askin if you could go in and wait until ur mum/dad came home
mobile chips vans
sun in the summer and snow in the winter..
a proper sweet shop with glass jars,scales and little white bags,
we ate cakes,white bread,real butter and drank pop with sugar...but we weren't overweight because..........WE WERE ALWAYS OUT PLAYING!
going out in the morning and playing all day as long as we were back home when the streetlights came on!
as children we would ride in cars with no baby seats or air bags.
riding in the back of a van .loose..was always great fun!
drinking water from the garden hosepipe,
we shared one soft drink with 4 friends from one bottle...no-one actually died from this!!
we fell out of trees,got cut and broke bones...there were no lawsuits from these accidents!
THAT GENERATION PRODUCED SOME OF THE BEST RISK-TAKERS....PROBLEM SOLVERS AND INVENTORS..EVER!!!!!!!!!!!
The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And you have the nerve to call me coloured"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Copy this onto your space and help erase racism!!!!!!!!!!!!
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times,
does he become disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from
Holland called Holes?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popula