First..Rest easy my Brother Ben (Sept 30 1955 - Oct 25 2011) I'll see you again someday and it'll be like you've never been gone
....And now to begin your descent into online dating profile hell - Read on at your own risk.
I'm pretty sure I was feeling full of myself when I wrote this. I like to think of this as my Axl Rose "November Rain" Moment. It's the profile that never ends. And when you are done reading it, just like the song, you find yourself thinking "What the hell was that about"
If you can actually make it through the entire 8:57 required to read this, then....
A. You are really, really bored.
B. There's nothing on TV
C. You are astounded that somebody could display a bigger ego than you, and you just had to look.
Take your pick. It's a multiple choice answer.
I'm just an ez going type of guy looking for an ez going gal. I have been through the ups and downs of life, have the unseen scars...and I am still standing. It may be on one leg at times, but i'm still standing dammit! If you're looking for pefection, pass me by. If you think you are perfect, pass me by faster! Unlike most, I know I'm not perfect and I've no shame admitting it. That is why I never seek perfection in others. It does not exist in me or you! The only perfect person that has ever lived was my Ex-Wife. At least according to her. So, maybe that one does'nt count. But due to the fact that this life can be very strange, imperfect people sometimes are perfectly perfect for each other!
I am a music lover. I have very eclectic tastes. I listen to a little bit of everything. I even like a little rap. I may be the Original Pasty Gangsta before the beltless pants and Wangstas came into being. I enjoy stuff from Rock to Blues to Celtic to Country. I don't believe in labels in anything in life. If its something that I enjoy...then I enjoy it! It's that simple! I've never believed in boxing myself into my own little world of cold comfort. I love traveling when I can and exploring new things, places and faces. I enjoy spending time on the coast or the mountains. I'm also quite an accomplished lip syncher when i'm driving and listening to my favorite tunes!
All in all, I enjoy the little pleasures in life such as good conversation over coffee or a soda in the park. Most of all, I love to laugh and try to find a little humor in anything and everything in that I can! And I am not above laughing at myself when the jokes on me! My favorite writer and humorist Mark Twain once said..."Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place" Very True!
I have always been a student of the heart and a very compassionate person. It's in my DNA I suppose. I'm a sharer and a giver and I do not ask for anything in return. I give my time, energy and resources to those I care for. Some people may think that is what you would call being a sucker, or setting one self up to be used, but that's who I am and how I live my life and always have. I know of no other way to live. Some things truly never change and that's probably the one and only trait of my being that hasn't changed over the years and probably never will. I consider myself to be a spiritual person, but for me my spirtuality is a private thing that is part of my heart and soul. I believe in a higher power than myself who has blessed me with freewill, but is me who is responsible for using that freewill to do the right thing.
I'm looking for someone who prefers to spend their time on the sunny side of the street and is able to find something good even out of the darkest times. I believe that there is something to be learned from every human experience and if you never try, you'll never learn and you'll never know. Just sing your life. Sing about the things that you love and sing about the things that you loathe. But just sing! I enjoy simple, unpretentious people who are who they are and don't try or want to be anyone else. A person who is willing to take a look around them when other's need their time. One thing I've learned over the years is that A real friend is the person who is walking in while everyone else is walking out.
I'm not looking for someone to "complete me" or make me happy. Nobody can EVER do that but me. That core resonsibity is my own. I would like to meet someone to enhance my life and make it better! That's the bingo for a realistic expectation and a healthier, time tested relationship! It is the key foundation that alot of people don't understand...2 singular happy people merging to form a duo where each enhances one another's lives and happiness
And because you were waiting for it...What would a vulgar display of ego be without a faves list! And because I truly believe that mean people suck, I will not be mean and therefor present you with an abbreviated faves list!
Favorite Bands....The Eagles, The Clash & Led Zeppelin
Favorite Actor....Robert De Niro
Favorite Actress....Julianne Moore
Favorite Movies....Pulp Fiction, Fargo & My Cousin Vinny
Favorite TV Show....Tie between The Office & Curb Your Enthusiasm
Favorite Adult Beverage....Rum & Coke and Bass Ale a close second
If you want to know the rest, Hey! Buy the rights!..Or in genuine 2012 style, send me a text, because in genuine 1962 style I don't Twitter or Facebook.
Now the song is nearly over. We may never find out what it means. But if you have learned nothing from reading this and you probably haven't because like a box of Lucky Charms, this profile while tasty contains no cerebral nutritional value whatsoever. But despite it all, I hope you remember at least these four things. Actually they are the four greatest truths according to Paddy.
1. Angels fly because they take themselves lightly.
2. The cheaper the taco, the greater the risk.
3. You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.
4. Life is short...So live it up!
And I almost forgot! I'm a big ole S.F Giants Freak. Been a fan since I was a kid. I recently had a surgical procedure and the surgeon said my blood appeared to be orange & black. I'm only telling you this so you'll be aware....especially if you like the Da Bums from L.A!
Congratulations! You made it! You nor I can believe you read the whole thing!
Man, you must be really warped! That's ok though because being warped is much better than being normal. Normal is very overrated.
And Finally!......I've saved the best for last! Paddy's Six Commandments For Being Human......
Conversation Starters (i.e. what you'd like to do on a first date...)
What else! In N Out Burger!
Then maybe an adult beverage and great conversation to help wash down those tasty burgers!