“My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.” I think Henry Ford said that while shorting cinnamon off the tummy of a Bangkok prostitute but I could be mistaken...
I want to be successful on POF so:
1. Talk about your hobbies: I have hobbies.
2. Talk about your goals and aspirations: I aspire to have goals! YEAH ME!!!
3. Talk about yourself and what makes you unique: I am myself and I'm unique!
4. Describe your taste in music: music is tasty and I love tasty music!
Now that we got that out of the way....I'm looking for what Henry was looking for but in a woman that likes and says funny stuff, and must be able to make me shoot milk out my nose while laughing. So what are you like? What do you like? Do you like the Colbert Report? Do you love Daniel Tosh's stand up routines but think Tosh.0 is a little too gross and stupid most of the time? Do you like Archer? Did you like Office Space? Airplane? Talladega Nights? Do you really like men or secretly want to change them into fembots?
I may not have read your profile yet (but I'm probably not sorry). When I do the "Meet Me" thing they only show your picture and that's it (and clicking on "view your profile" is too much like work). Not much to go on so I do the best I can (Ok, I'm lazy and I could do better but I won't). I'd really like to know more about you (but most likely not...so try to impress me- send me a funny note, tell me a joke by email, anything- be unique). For some reason there are many (an unusual amount of) extremely boring people on here (well their profiles are anyway, all the same like they copied from their neighbor in class).
About me, well I have green eyes and sandy blond hair. I am built just like Arnold Schwarzenegger (in his prime and better looking) except totally different. I like to run, bike, swim and lift weights to tone up. Although I am presently in great physical shape, so I'm working on depreciation. I eat healthy stuff most of the time (at work they called me squirrel boy and offered me nuts and bark, and in return I loved them very much and was sorry to have to shoot them during hunting season). But I do indulge in normal food at times. I like to laugh, tell jokes and have fun (this is actually true). I am NOT politically correct so I can actually laugh at things without worrying about offending spotted owls, sacred cows, republicans or democrats. I did have to give up riding my bike in the pool. It was a great workout but I found it to be too hard on the bike and the pool filter.
If that was at least a little funny, you may keep reading. If you think that isn't funny you may not like my humor and I'd like you to leave now so you can find your clone elsewhere. But don't worry, the world is full of people like you. I like most all people (but I have made exceptions for the insane and robots and I really do not like insane robots-- think terminator). I also fear sock puppets (they are monsters!).
For books, science fiction rules as does personal development (like books on how to read books) and all books by Stephen Colbert. When I see films, I love to see films like The Matrix, Limitless, Star Trek, V for Vendetta, Watchmen, Prometheus and I love Edgar Rice Burroughs' books so I loved "John Carter" and and saw it five times -ha-ha.
Music is also huge for me. I am electric, eclectic and eccentric. I like all years and take what I like (no prisoners-ha). I love lots of strange stuff; too much to list so here are a few: Hoodoo Gurus, Black Keys, Linkin Park, Moody Blues, Cream, House of Love, ABC, Duran Duran, Sisters of Mercy, The Church, Rancid, Imagine Dragons, The Bravery, Muse, Birthday Massacre, Shiny Toy Guns, Guadalcanal Diary, Beatles, Stones, Grateful Dead, Herman's Hermits, Jimmy Eats World, World Party, misc. Classical, Nirvana, Dope, Bad Religion, The Cult, Hendrix, Blind Faith, Fad Gadget, DJ Rap, Korn, The Who, Paul Mauriat, Green Day, New Order, Tears for Fear, PIL, Three Dog Night, Offspring, Rare Earth, Monkees, Subways, Raconteurs, Cardigans, Shocking Blue, Ringo Starr, ELP, Seether, Alice Cooper, Social Distortion, The Hollies, Weezer, Eagle-Eye Cherry, Sneaker Pimps, Led Zep, Saliva, Social Burn, Smile Empty Soul, Zombies, Animals, Pink Floyd, Jefferson Airplane, Santana, America, Mott the Hoople, David Bowie, Garbage, Gang of Four, Midnight Oil, the Smiths, Echo and the Bunnymen, and need I say countless others...(;-o)
And no, I still may not have read your profile- yet. That may happen after you read mine (or not).
I am fun, funny, friendly, intelligent, optimistic, and I'm full of energy and passion...blah, blah, blah- too generic, right? So how about we just say that I'm like a cross between John Stewart and Stephen Colbert with a sprinkle of maybe say Michael Crichton and Chuck Yeager... I love to talk, but I'm also a good listener (I am lying - I am not a good listener, I get excited and will interrupt you all the time so get used to it). I love my toys but can live without them (for about five minutes). Family and friends are important to me and I'd to love spend more time with them than I do because we have a lot of fun together (but I would sell them if the right offer came in). They all have work and families and it is harder with every passing year to get together (and I'm quite happy about that). I try to always there to help them when they need me (ha-like they would ever want my help!).
I like to take care of people that I love (like me). I know what I want in life and I take responsibility for my actions (no matter how infantile they are). I am motivated, dedicated, honest, open, tolerant and patient (I am Mother Theresa). Other people say that I have a unique style and personality (they also say "insane"). I am a creative and intelligent, and I come up with new ideas all the time (like flaming chainsaw juggling) . I need to be constantly challenging myself with new things (like chewing gum and walking at the same time). I love my health and I always want to eat healthy food and exercise, so I lead an active life (umm, this is actually true).
I am looking for an easygoing, sweet, loving, kind, tolerant, and fun woman that can make me laugh the snot out of my nose. I am looking for the one that will take care of me and baby me and that will melt my heart and make me feel like a man and want to be a better man so then I can ruin everything. I am not looking for perfection (OK now I'm just lying....I am looking for perfection). I think I'll wait for the perfect look, perfect height, weight, hair, eyes, smile, body, and sex drive (and you have to be immortal like a vampire or whatever). Together we become one and make all our dreams come true (and unicorns will fart roses). So contact me now, perfect, rich movie star!
P.S.--If you got this far you are either Evelyn Wood or you have way too much time on your hands!