| About | Occasional Smoker with Athletic body type | City | High Wycombe Uk | |
| Details | 41 year old Man, 6' 0" (183 cm), Other Religion | Ethnicity | Caucasian Aquarius with Brown hair |
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 Poland, New Years Eve |
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| I am Seeking a | Woman | For | Dating | |
| Needs Test | Not Completed | Chemistry | View his chemistry results | |
| Do you drink? | Socially | Do you want children? | Undecided/Open | |
| Marital Status | Single | Do you do drugs? | No | |
| Pets | No Pets | Eye Color | Brown | |
| Profession | Photographer | Do you have children? | Yes | |
| Education | Some university | Do you have a car? | Yes |
Relationship
Intent martin555 is looking for a relationship. |
Relationship History The longest relationship martin555 has been in was over 7 years long. |
Interests
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About Me
Here I am, blank canvas in front of me and nothing to write.
Before arriving at this page I thought I would have a sneaky peek at other people's profiles to get an idea of what to put...wow, what an unimaginative bunch of s.h.i.t.s :( I wonder who had the very first profile on Plenty Of Fish? Maybe they wrote a mind numbingly boring profile and subsequent members had a sneaky peek at theirs? I don't know.
The other thing I am wondering is, is there a limit to the size one can make one's profile? We shall see! I'd like to the be the first person to crash the Plenty Of Fish servers just by sheer volume of the b.o.l.l.o.c.ks I have written.
I'm not gonna simply state my likes and dislikes, pleasures and displeasures, poisons, potions and habits....No, but i am going to speak my mind. Those who have not already sunk into a boredom induced coma will upon reaching the finale of my rattlings on, either like me and feel that they know me..... or slash their wrists. Either way, I will have gained a definitive answer to the profile size query.
Ok, now it's no secret that I like to have a drink once in a while. Usually I don't go over the top because I like to retain at least a modicum of dignity, not to mention the hand-eye co-ordination, however, occasionally it is great fun to get tanked up and as drunk as a mattress. Alcohol fuelled close encounters of the intimate kind are very underrated. Now there's a very strange looking word. I laugh in the face of spellchecker and yet, the word underrated appears, even to me to have too many Rs. Hey ho. Antidisestablishmentarianism would appear to have too many letters but, that is the correct spelling and something we just have to accept :D
Musically, my taste is fairly eclectic although I particularly love guitars and I have the utmost respect for those who can play them properly. Joe Satriani is one of my guitar Gods as is Tommy Emmanuel, the acoustic guitar genius from Melbourne, Australia. There are of course exceptions to every rule and as accepting as I am of most people's music, Cheryl Cole's 'Fight For This Love' remains an enigma. I appreciate what the song relates to and why it was written but, 'sitting in reverse' what the f**k is that all about? I'm not even going to hazard a guess. Waste of life! Of course I do appreciate Cheryl, mostly for her looks and what I could do to her ;) Actually, I think most people, even women....particularly women, would concur. Cheryl is probably the world's most successful lesbian maker.
Actually, I feel very lucky to be alive this evening. I went out earlier to procure some tinnies from the corner shop. Being a corner, my view of the oncoming traffic at this location was at best, sh*t to non-existent. On the way back, making a determined dash through a hole in the traffic I was 'scuffed' by a high speed Fosters lorry which undoubtedly was carrying several tons of the amber nectar. They said the booze would kill me but, I didn't think it was going to be like this. Perhaps the driver spotted the artois labels showing through the ultra thin sides of my cheap and nasty carrier bag and viewed me as the enemy. This would certainly explain why he and his juggernaut made a bee-line for my rib cage. Better luck next time Skippy.
Some girls describe me as 'the boy next door', well, of course I'm the boy next door...I live in a f*cking terraced house for Christ sake. I am the boy next door to at least 2 people. I think they were possibly referring to my looks. Yes, I suppose I am a reasonably good looking chap... with a great penis.
Kids, don't you just love em. I had the enviable honour of bringing up my beautiful son single handed from the age of 2. Some might argue that 2 years old is far too young to be a parent haha. I taught him all that I knew to give him a head start in life. Even meal times were prime learning opportunities for Paul for such things as mathematics. I remember Dominos Pizza had a special offer on. 1 large pizza or 2 small ones for the same price. Of course, being the mathematical genius freak of nature that I am I had to work out the surface area of the food on offer to establish which was the better buy. I explained the formula to Paul for calculating the area of a circle. "Paul, all you need to know is Pi r squared." Without hesitation Paul corrected me " No Daddy, pie are round" We were very poor in those days and this was and still is a little treasure :) Paul is now an air force pilot with a penchant for rectangular food. If he ever develops an interest in cooking I'll purchase for him an equilateral chainsaw. :D
Ok, it's Monday evening and I still haven't described the kind of girl I am looking for. No worries, I will do in due course, however, having just narrowly avoided a fracas with a miserable pensioner in my local supermarket, I see this as an ideal opportunity to express my fear of one day winding up spliced to such a vicious old troll.
This evening I committed an apparently appalling act as I shoved and dragged my knackered and unsteerable shopping trolley through a 'baskets only' checkout. A crime so heinous that the 'Two Ronnies' (Biggs and Kray) simply fade into insignificance. What an abomination! How utterly reprehensible of me :D I felt a sharp prod in my side as I waited to be served and turning round to see what had caused such pain I was confronted by 'The Troll,' brandishing her wrinkled and claw-like digit. I enquired as to what exactly her problem was, only to have my finely tuned ear drums assaulted by a barrage of 'BASKETS ONLY, BASKETS ONLY' churned out in a blood curdling rasp. I calmly pointed out the purpose of such a checkout is to maintain speed and efficiency for those shoppers wishing to purchase just a few items and as I had only 6 items in my trolley compared to the dozen or more she had crammed into her basket, there was not a problem. This didn't wash...NO! I knew I was in a no win situation so, rather than showing her some finger I told her a little joke. "Old Bag....What goes in and out and smells of p.i.s.s?" I furnished her with the answer before her twisted little mind had a chance to react, although sometime the following day would still have been 'in time'.."The Hokey Cokey at YOUR old people's home!" I chuckled smugly as I wheeled my purchase towards the exit. A small sample of the diseased flushings of my leprous mind.
Before arriving at this page I thought I would have a sneaky peek at other people's profiles to get an idea of what to put...wow, what an unimaginative bunch of s.h.i.t.s :( I wonder who had the very first profile on Plenty Of Fish? Maybe they wrote a mind numbingly boring profile and subsequent members had a sneaky peek at theirs? I don't know.
The other thing I am wondering is, is there a limit to the size one can make one's profile? We shall see! I'd like to the be the first person to crash the Plenty Of Fish servers just by sheer volume of the b.o.l.l.o.c.ks I have written.
I'm not gonna simply state my likes and dislikes, pleasures and displeasures, poisons, potions and habits....No, but i am going to speak my mind. Those who have not already sunk into a boredom induced coma will upon reaching the finale of my rattlings on, either like me and feel that they know me..... or slash their wrists. Either way, I will have gained a definitive answer to the profile size query.
Ok, now it's no secret that I like to have a drink once in a while. Usually I don't go over the top because I like to retain at least a modicum of dignity, not to mention the hand-eye co-ordination, however, occasionally it is great fun to get tanked up and as drunk as a mattress. Alcohol fuelled close encounters of the intimate kind are very underrated. Now there's a very strange looking word. I laugh in the face of spellchecker and yet, the word underrated appears, even to me to have too many Rs. Hey ho. Antidisestablishmentarianism would appear to have too many letters but, that is the correct spelling and something we just have to accept :D
Musically, my taste is fairly eclectic although I particularly love guitars and I have the utmost respect for those who can play them properly. Joe Satriani is one of my guitar Gods as is Tommy Emmanuel, the acoustic guitar genius from Melbourne, Australia. There are of course exceptions to every rule and as accepting as I am of most people's music, Cheryl Cole's 'Fight For This Love' remains an enigma. I appreciate what the song relates to and why it was written but, 'sitting in reverse' what the f**k is that all about? I'm not even going to hazard a guess. Waste of life! Of course I do appreciate Cheryl, mostly for her looks and what I could do to her ;) Actually, I think most people, even women....particularly women, would concur. Cheryl is probably the world's most successful lesbian maker.
Actually, I feel very lucky to be alive this evening. I went out earlier to procure some tinnies from the corner shop. Being a corner, my view of the oncoming traffic at this location was at best, sh*t to non-existent. On the way back, making a determined dash through a hole in the traffic I was 'scuffed' by a high speed Fosters lorry which undoubtedly was carrying several tons of the amber nectar. They said the booze would kill me but, I didn't think it was going to be like this. Perhaps the driver spotted the artois labels showing through the ultra thin sides of my cheap and nasty carrier bag and viewed me as the enemy. This would certainly explain why he and his juggernaut made a bee-line for my rib cage. Better luck next time Skippy.
Some girls describe me as 'the boy next door', well, of course I'm the boy next door...I live in a f*cking terraced house for Christ sake. I am the boy next door to at least 2 people. I think they were possibly referring to my looks. Yes, I suppose I am a reasonably good looking chap... with a great penis.
Kids, don't you just love em. I had the enviable honour of bringing up my beautiful son single handed from the age of 2. Some might argue that 2 years old is far too young to be a parent haha. I taught him all that I knew to give him a head start in life. Even meal times were prime learning opportunities for Paul for such things as mathematics. I remember Dominos Pizza had a special offer on. 1 large pizza or 2 small ones for the same price. Of course, being the mathematical genius freak of nature that I am I had to work out the surface area of the food on offer to establish which was the better buy. I explained the formula to Paul for calculating the area of a circle. "Paul, all you need to know is Pi r squared." Without hesitation Paul corrected me " No Daddy, pie are round" We were very poor in those days and this was and still is a little treasure :) Paul is now an air force pilot with a penchant for rectangular food. If he ever develops an interest in cooking I'll purchase for him an equilateral chainsaw. :D
Ok, it's Monday evening and I still haven't described the kind of girl I am looking for. No worries, I will do in due course, however, having just narrowly avoided a fracas with a miserable pensioner in my local supermarket, I see this as an ideal opportunity to express my fear of one day winding up spliced to such a vicious old troll.
This evening I committed an apparently appalling act as I shoved and dragged my knackered and unsteerable shopping trolley through a 'baskets only' checkout. A crime so heinous that the 'Two Ronnies' (Biggs and Kray) simply fade into insignificance. What an abomination! How utterly reprehensible of me :D I felt a sharp prod in my side as I waited to be served and turning round to see what had caused such pain I was confronted by 'The Troll,' brandishing her wrinkled and claw-like digit. I enquired as to what exactly her problem was, only to have my finely tuned ear drums assaulted by a barrage of 'BASKETS ONLY, BASKETS ONLY' churned out in a blood curdling rasp. I calmly pointed out the purpose of such a checkout is to maintain speed and efficiency for those shoppers wishing to purchase just a few items and as I had only 6 items in my trolley compared to the dozen or more she had crammed into her basket, there was not a problem. This didn't wash...NO! I knew I was in a no win situation so, rather than showing her some finger I told her a little joke. "Old Bag....What goes in and out and smells of p.i.s.s?" I furnished her with the answer before her twisted little mind had a chance to react, although sometime the following day would still have been 'in time'.."The Hokey Cokey at YOUR old people's home!" I chuckled smugly as I wheeled my purchase towards the exit. A small sample of the diseased flushings of my leprous mind.
First Date
FIRST DATE: Impossible to say until I know who 'my date' is and what she likes but, it would be something very pleasant and memorable for all the right reasons.
Gifts Received
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