About Me
About ME
I'm financially stable, goal-oriented, loyal, and very sarcastic.
I'm originally from NJ and now a professor in Miami … bonus points if you can guess (correctly) what I teach (it's not liberal arts).
I'm straight (in fish terminology: I swim downstream with the current, not upstream … I don't go both ways either.)
I work out 3-4 times per week and enjoy a healthy lifestyle. I don my chef hat every evening.
I love sushi from Sushi Samba and Houston's (in fish terminology: I'm a cannibal).
I have one dimple, though I'd prefer two to make my smile symmetric.
I'm looking for friends, though open to the idea of dating if I meet someone worthwhile.
About YOU
You're an affectionate member of the pro-cuddling campaign ;-)
You're stylish and you take pride in your appearance when going out (in fish terminology: you have a classy set of scales).
You are capable of carrying on an intelligent adult conversation.
You have a quirky little nervous habit that like twirling your hair or biting your lip.
You can be independent (in fish terminology: no barnacles, please).
You love animals and perhaps even have a dog.
You have a hearty appetite for witty humor, topped with a copious scoop of sarcasm.
You can walk up curbs, steps, and escalators (see About THEM below).
*** If you're interested in me, add me to your Favorites and I'll break the ice if I think we'd click. If I add you to my Favorites but you aren't interested, just remove me from the list ... it'll save us both some time :)
About THEM (other fish I've met ... YES, these are true!)
I've met 2 amazing people online, and a few not so 'memorable' ones too. The most unique were …
#3 – Miss "S", who was an arsonist arrested for setting a parking garage on fire.
#2 – Miss "C", who was afraid of fire and blew out every candle we came across on our date (I'm glad she didn't meet Miss "S").
#1 – Miss "R", who "forgot" to mention that she had 2 kids.
Most unforgettable emails I've ever received:
#3 – "i saw you in class today! guess who!!" [hmmm … a stalker?]
#2 – "yo prof, holla at dis mami" [translation using the Urban Slang dictionary: "hello professor, please contact this young lady"]
#1 – "Hey professor how are u?? im really intrested in your profile thieres alot to you lol!! but im not sure what your intrests are but what the heck i have it a try to message you im not sure if your into black womens niether bit hmmm I know what my eyes like;) I will be most defiantly happy if you message back to me I hope you don't find my age an issue get back at mi if you like" [thanks, but I'll pass … unlike your 4th grade English class]
First Date
About US
Things I envision that we could theoretically do on a 'First Date' …
Pretend to work at shops in the mall without telling the manager, then see how long we'll last.
Walk up to a random person, act like they're a celebrity, then ask them for their autograph.
Go up to a random person and start to form a Conga line.
Attempt to eat tacos while looking sexy.
Find Nemo, then fillet him.
Mail Settings
To send a message to
ConstantVariable
you MUST meet the following criteria:
Female
Younger than 36
Live in United States
Must not be looking for Other Relationship
Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
Must not do drugs
ConstantVariable
has
2
roses available. Click Send Message to send
ConstantVariable
a rose!
Create Your Seduction Guide.