I can already tell you’re lovely.
How do I know? I just do.
-You’re special. You are quirky, with a big personality. You love being the centre of attention, and rightfully so. Because you’re awesome.
-You’re a smarty-pants, and you’re looking for someone to share nerdy factoids with.
-You love music. You probably have the best taste in music of anyone you know (am I right?)
-You’re passionate about something, whatever it may be (Saving the planet? Housing the homeless? Accordion playing? Bunny whispering? Etc.)
-You’re fiercely independent, but you love a good spoon session.
-You find existential quandaries charming. You like pondering the meaning of the universe, and other life mysteries (Where DO seals sleep?).
-…And for some reason, you’re looking for romance on the internet, but it’s probably because no one recognizes you for the awesome gem that you are.
That’s where I come in!
-I’m a quirky queer feminist, left-leaning activist, liberal-arts educated university student. I do well in school and really enjoy my academic pursuits, but I really value my social life. It’s very important for me to be able to make time for my friends. Also, I make it a rule to never turn down any social invitations that might eventually turn into a sexy queer dance party.
-I find it important to be involved in my community. I like going to shows and events, marching in rallies, volunteering with non-profits, and trying to make the world a better place in general. This involves smiling at strangers and holding doors. It’s not that hard, really.
-I identify as femme. This was something I tried to deny for a long while, because queer femininity is often invisiblised, and I wanted everyone to recognize me for the super-dyke I am. However, my passion for riding bikes while wearing skirts eventually won me back (it’s equal parts vintage romanticism & exhibitionism!). All this being said, it doesn't really matter to me how you present your gender, so long as it's HOTT.
-I over-use parenthesis (as you can probably tell)
-Baby animals. I ****ing love baby animals.
-I live my days in search of bliss. Bliss is standing in the sun, or the rain at Finlayson Point of Dallas Road. Bliss is an Americano from Café Fantastico. Bliss is a bottle of red wine and a roomful of good friends. Bliss is a mid-morning, tangled in the sheets spoon with someone you care for. I’m a simple, sensory creature, and I find joy in little things like these.
Let’s fill our mugs with piping hot beverages (to be inclusionary of the non-coffee drinkers in the crowd) and take a walk along Dallas Road to look at puppies, or around the Inner Harbour to look at tourists.
Or we could go to Beacon Hill to pet the baby goats. I’ll make squealing noises (here’s a warning: if a grown woman squealing at baby animals embarrasses you, I suggest you run for the hills here and now).
If none of these options thrill you as much as they do me, let’s go to an event downtown in the evening – maybe a touring indie-folk-pop-lo-fi-shoegaze band, sexy burlesque, or spoken word. When it’s over, we can make out in an alley. Rad.
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Create Your Seduction Guide.