I thought I just about accomplished about everything I wanted out of school. I quit graduate school in the middle of it to take a job offer in the west coast to support my mom. I'm coming up on the one year mark since I moved to this coast and my mother is remarried and a bit more self reliant. I have a great boss who seems to care about my career and I like every member of the team I work with. We work for a billion dollar a year company and I can't complain about my job or my pay which is in the early six figure range at 24 years of age.
I live in some sort of fancy downtown apartment in a nice trendy area of san diego and I drive a very fast German convertible that has way more power than I know what to do with. I also own a second car that I use solely for my amusement. I go out every other weekend and have partied with playboy centerfolds and stay in every other weekend to get some work done for my side consulting business. This month I spend Sundays shopping for unique furniture or ordering high end scandanavian furniture I find in eurotrash catalogues. This reminds me very much of Fight Club except I have better taste.
I think it was either Emerson or Thoreau who said men lead lives of quiet desperation. I never truly appreciated that fact until I was out of school. When I was in school it seemed the whole world was ahead of me and limitless potential to achieve the unthinkable. Now that I do 9 to 5 everyday it seems the cold hard reality of life is what it is and I can't change it nor do I really want that much change in my life if I'm honest.
I feel like and want to believe there is a lot more meaning to life than this but I know somewhere inside there isn't and this is pretty much it. I think some people have children to bring some sort of profound meaning but I don't think that's a good reason to have them.
I'm actually not quite as bleak as I may seem, haha.
I leave you with my favorite quote of the moment:
"Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through
traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to
the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house
you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it."
- Ellen Goodman