You know it's funny as I feel we have lost a lot of what used to be considered important in life. I believe my word and my honor still mean a lot to me. And I will not compromise either for anything on this earth. In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle that inner spirit.
Quick to Laugh, Slow to Anger, Easy to Please, Hard to Impress.
Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to.
Warning! Danger, Danger! This is a very long profile. If you have a heart condition, suffer from asthma, you lack in patience, or you are stuck in a burning building, you should probably skip this one!
For gawds sakes, if a gal is bi-polar, on meds for depression, seeing a shrink, (or just plain crazy as a loon) her lunatic axe murderer ex-husband just escaped from prison. Or she just escaped from prison! And yes, I will check for dirt under your fingernails as signs you just tunneled your way out. So at least wash your D A M N hands girl ! Or she dated some bank robber boy, and about that robber boy thing, (rolls eyes) ya know that doesn't mean I don't Love ya Gina! You KNOW I do!
Now that gal, looks at my profile, and pushes her chair away from the PC, jumps up, knocking her beer off the desk. Covers her mouth with one hand, and points at the PC and screams out loud, MOMMA! THAT'S HIM! WAHOO! THAT'S MY MAN!
This is getting crazy! These are no longer Plentyoffish dates. (wink) They have now become Plentyoffish encounters! I swear... I mean, ya gotta know I am dieing laughing as I write this but I am getting skeered!
I have a gal buddy back in Philly from POF named Andee, She's a sweetie, and I told her about my latest one on here. And she said "Uhhh... You do know what your problem is right Cowboy? "You have no warning lights boy"! Nothing that tells you to pull over to the side of the road ! You can't hear the voices in your head yelling "DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER DANGER!" Andee and me are just "buddies" but she is threatening to fly here from Philly and roll up a newspaper, spank my butt, and make me sleep in the garage if I don't straighten up I swear. And I don't even have a garage!
My life is crazy. My close friends are probably 1-pill outside an institution, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love them all.
I'm all contradictions. I'm probably the bad boy your momma tried to warn you about, and the good husband/father you always dreamed of.
The ornery barefoot boy next door you always wanted to sneak down to the creek and go smooching with when momma wasn't looking. A southern gentlemen that still opens doors and pulls out chairs. I still say "Yes Ma'am" and "No Sir". My momma raised me right. I live in mortal fear, to this day, that my tiny 4'10" mom will come up out of the grave and beat my skinny butt with a ping-pong paddle if I do not open a door for a lady.
Come hold my hand on this journey we call life.
Always remember this, "You can't change the direction of the winds in your life, but you can adjust the sails to point ya in the direction you want to go".
Do not love a person for their appearance, the clothes they wear, the car they drive... love them because they sing a song only your heart can hear...
God determines who walks into your life. It's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
xxxx's & oooo's
P.S. Crap! Lets try this One more time. (rolls eyes) I keep having gals ask what I am searching for?
For the love of gawd! This isn't as hard as y'all are making this. We are all looking for the same thing. (rolls eyes, OK lets roll those eyes twice for extra effect) I mean really now ladies. Let's try and cut through the B.S. here for just a minute OK? I was gonna say to close your eyes and read the next section but that won't work will it? You would be lost trying to read with your eyes closed! So I guess I'll have to read it for ya. Listen up now! follow along! Can you hear me now? Turn up your speakers!
Have you ever snuck out ten minutes early from work? Drove home at illegal speeds? To skid into the driveway of your house sideways like a Nascar driver, tires a squealing. Knowing that your "better half" was pacing back and forth peeking out of that front window, every 10 seconds. Waiting to hear the sound of your car finally hit that driveway.
Because they can't wait to be in your arms again! They waited all day to feel your arms embrace them. To just wrap their legs around you in a kiss that never ends.(long sigh) Now that's what I search for!
Now if you really think you can curl my toes in cowboy boots on the first kiss, then you need to drop me a line here sweetheart. (wink)
I need someone with a backyard so I can cook. I'll bring the food and the grill. You gotta bring the crazy friends. I swear finding a good gal these days is harder then nailing jelly to a tree.
I am very sorry to announce that I will no longer be responding to profiles without pictures. Not only because I'm shallow, but I also wanna make sure I've not seen your mug shots on Americas Most Wanted.
Now with so many of you gals complaining about the very long profile I am now offering prizes to all those that have managed to read all the way to the bottom without napping.
Write me and just tell me you want to collect your prize. (long sigh)
Ok Ok Ok ! Enough already! I am only going to say this one time. So let me make this very very clear. Listen up! In response to multiple people that have now asked the same exact question (you guys are very sick puppies btw) Look I am really really sorry but, there are no cash prizes OK? So puhleez just quit asking for cash OK? I swear, the things a guy has to do on here to get a date anymore.
And way too many of you gals have asked if I have a friggin web cam? Whats up with that nonsense anyway? Ok well the answer is "Yes", but I need a valid credit card authorization before I turn it on. (wink) Geez and I thought I was a perv? Skeered to even imagine what you're going to ask for next for prizes! You gals make me blush over some of the prizes you've requested!
LOL! I have heard many guys lie about their height on here? I really am 5'9" barefoot and 140 lbs nekid. And NO you are not getting to weigh me nekid for your prize! OMG what is wrong with you ladies? And I am using the term "ladies" very loosely here. (wink)
BTW... all spelling errors are made intentionally for verification purposes, so that you know this text was really written by me.
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says: "Oh sh1t...she's awake"
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Let me get this out of the way right now. Just in case we do get serious, and I ever get to meet your folks, since there is still somewhat of a stigma attached in some peoples minds regarding internet dating and all... If they ever ask me how we met, I am NOT going to say that I met you on some internet dating site so just relax! I will look your Mom and Dad straight in the eye and just tell them that... I bought you on eBay...
Seriously there is a HUGE difference from a first "meeting" and a first "date". The real "date" comes AFTER the first "meeting". Lets keep that meeting casual, short, and relaxed and see if we click for the date part. If you have been doing this POF thing awhile as I have, then you will agree that you will usually know in a few minutes if there is a need for the real date part. Or if you just want to remain buddies, or (long sigh) run screaming back to your car, just as fast as you can!
I vote for a quick drink and maybe some chips and salsa for a first meet.. I will of talked and called you more then a couple times before scheduling a meet. I am NOT trying to fill a social calendar here ladies, I'm trying to fill a lifetime. Work with me here. I promise its worth it.
OK LOOK ! I have been on a LOT of POF first meets and have seen a trend develop and I have now developed the perfect solution. We are probably going to grab a couple drinks on the first meet. If you show up looking NOTHING LIKE YOUR PICS you have to buy me drinks until you do. (wink)
First Date Huh? (long sigh) For Real? (wink) now picture Cowboy wagging his tail like a puppy dog when he writes this last part. Ok well, (deep breath) I have been saving one box of un-opened "gold" sparklers for that very special occasion so if you want to break out those sparklers with me, give me a shout!
Look I really do answer every message here that isnt rude or crude. No exceptions unless I just screw up. Sorry it happens at times and I swear it is an accident.
But to make sure you REALLY read the whole profile (grin) put the word Penguins in your message somewhere when you write me and your guaranteed a response because I will KNOW you made it all the way down here to the very bottom. LOL
Ok here is one of my very favorite quotes in the whole world to wrap up this goofy profile, and it really fits my POF experiences. "Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" John Wayne
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