(Stick with me here)
Prelude-...Hope you are aware of the work of Pavlov...
Stumbling in from reading profiles, you take an empty seat, luckily there are plenty to be had.
She enters. Dang, she's not blonde!
Quasi>"My name is Quasimodem, and I am a Netoholic"
The Net> "Hi Quasi"!
Quasi> My story starts with a simple intranet.
At first I just used it for business purposes, an email here and there. It was strange at first, but it's what you have to do to get ahead; it was expected. I hated my boss, never gave him the time of day but one day,(cringe) I added a smiley in the body of my message.
I think his name was Walter, a maggot-like, married son of a **** who used to corner me by the water cooler. Truth was that it was pretty easy to smiley without looking his way, and the nightmares where I covered "him" with toilet paper, so not to touch him, dwindled. I think my therapist would call that disassociation.
So began my descent into Pavlovian Hell! Emoticon Mania continued...
Until one day...
A single rope, highlighted in orange, dropped down with every click, tone and Micro-softic beep that came from my computer.
drool :-} ~
get a life
So I drooled...
In any event, it was the only option available. What was I to do? I was hooked, trapped, dare I say, addicted!
I started to look like a cross between a pet rock and a pet maggot: white, glistening and not moving too swiftly. That menu haunts me still, and yes, if you must know, I was drooling before meeting you here.
Please don't think any less of me.
No longer were real friends enough. I surfed from site to site in the company of: teenagers and those who desire them, bored housewives in filthy homes, and men who use two fingers to type, at least that's their explanation for their sluggish typing skills.
Are you typing with two fingers, or are you just happy to see me?
Never mind the tortured souls!
Men taunted by Viagra who can't log off, women reduced from objects to gifs, and, me, chatting it up with strangers, drowning in a pool of my own spit!
Think I'm laughing?
If I was really laughing my ass off, don't you think it would take me longer to get back to the keyboard? Heck, I came to the conclusion that I am not that amused, or amusing, a long time ago.
"YOU" aren't that amusing either!
As part of my therapy I have been advised to seek out others battling similar demons, which brings me here to you. Perhaps we could share some spit...after all, I'm way past the chatting stage.
Okay the spit thing was just done for drama. It's only virtual spit, and contrary to my musings, I am not under a therapist's care.
My children live independently. Quirky, stubborn, opinionated, fun, dependable, conservative with a not so conservative coating, animated, silly, loyal and emotionally brave. I can be a tad impatient. I cry and laugh easily, but laugh exponentially more! I talk: with my hands, with inflection and energy. I enjoy the moment.
You would be someone who would never be short with someone who is waiting on you at a restaurant. I would hope that you would have an appreciation for all sorts of intelligence. I like creative, I adore kind, humility is very attractive.
I don't have the skewed attraction to bad boys. Bad boys don't have integrity, maturity or empathy. Life has enough excitement if you make it so,...living on the edge or walking on pins and needles is a level of being uncomfortable that many people mistake for excitement.
If what you like about yourself can be defined in a these few words....kind, gutsy, responsible....I think I may like you. I would only hope that in kind you would enjoy me.
As flattering as it is to receive a notice saying someone using the "MEET" function, it's communication I respond to. I know many women would like to cut to the chase in that way but for me, I would really like to look forward to meeting and that happens with a bit on interaction via a few emails.
It just is what works for me, and I totally understand if it doesn't work for others and I wish them well.