Some people call me Maurice, some people call me D!ck. I can't figure out why because that definitely is not my name.
I'm not sure what a fetish model is but it doesn't sound very appealing to me. When I was little I had a thing for my babysitters feet. Not sure why and it didn't turn into anything in my adulthood thank God. Not really a foot guy now so maybe it had the opposite effect on me. I sure wouldn't want to see her feet now.
Let's cut to the chase, just because I think with the little head sometimes does not make me a bad guy. At least I'm able to admit it. I'm not dirty, poor, dumb, uneducated or a convicted felon and I'm not looking to see how many notches I can put in my belt. Looking for that ONE. Just putting it out there. I don't wear beaters and I have never taken a picture with a fish unless you count that one summer I went to Sea World with my mother. I was 9. I realize this makes me less attractive than the guy who professes he is looking for his soul train soul mate but I'm willing to take that chance. Roll the dice and see what happens right? I have my reasons, they may be wrong but they're mine and I own them.
Also it seems no one is able to take a joke. Sometimes women will write "if you can't handle sarcasm, you can't handle me" or "if you dish it out, make sure you can take it" or "I like spirited banter".
Puhleeeeze. Do you know how many of these women who write this actually have a sense of humor? I have only met a few and for the most part it seems like the ones who don't say they are aspiring comedienne's are the ones who know how to throw some jokes back and forth.
I'm looking for a women to chat with (and joke around with) and expand my horizons a bit. Nothing too serious,just some chatting then maybe more. Right now though it would be nice just to chat.
I love Cheetos. I get the big bag. There I said it. (I have seriously cut back on my Cheetos intake. All that deep fried goo was too much for the arteries)
Just so you know, I cannot be beaten on any go kart track.(still true, I rule the small track) Give me a decent Kart and I will win. I race dirty though. If I have to, I will put you in the wall. Loser goes commando from that point on.
I enjoy not watching Soul Train while eating fresh mozarella and a nice flatbread. I know you are tempted to do the same but please, I am a trained professional, don't try this at home.
The instant message function on this site does not work for me most of the time so send me an email and we can make other arrangements.
I like to snack, it's bad I know, but I like it.
This site is such a waste of time, I marvel at the things I could get done if I didn't spend so much time on the internet. I think I am a troll/creeper. If I didn't waste time on the internet I'm sure I could be UFC heavyweight champion. Well, maybe not but it's nice to think about.
UPDATE: I won't call you names or insult you in any way if you don't respond. Not my style. If I have viewed your profile chances are I enjoyed reading it. Yes I do read them not just look at the pictures.
Oh, one more thing, Batman is my favorite superhero. I'm not a comic book nerd or anything but I do wear Batman PJ's to bed. Not really.
Go base jumping from the curb in front of your house. Possibly make a home video. Eat Cheezits cheesy, cheese snacks, dig a hole, brush up on algebra 2, make horse noises. Bob for apples. Fun stuff.
I once had an offer to sit quietly. That was nice.
Amazing how some people with claimed senses of humor take this so literally.