CURRENTLY - 1/13/16 only looking for chat friends, but leaving my profile intact because it's a good profile and I'd hate to have to rewrite it if I decide to start dating again. (ain't like anyone reads these things anyhow)
No picture? No response. That simple.
I don't want to be wordy, (and confuse some of you more brilliant guys out there) but please, I write this crap for a reason, do me your first courtesy and read it through.
To those it matters to, my personality type is INFP.
Before reading any further, go read this. It is your only warning, or owner's manual I will ever offer. http://dominantguide.com/1525/the-brat-ownership-guide/
First things first, I don't have pet peeves. I have psychotic fooking hatreds. If you are incapable of speaking via text or IM without using the letter "u" as a word, get out of my face and don't bug me. You are also known as "l33t speakers". Web slang is not cool. It is not a shortcut. It is a lazy habit and you should be ashamed. So, if ur prophile l00ks liek ths u r blocked.
I come off as demanding in my profile and that's slightly unfair since in real life, I'm not that demanding. But I have been hurt, and I've unfortunately learned to over protect myself to the point that I'm slightly anti-social.
Die hard romancers irritate me out of reason. I have no desire to be romanced. I like getting flowers, of course. (although I'd rather have a guy buy me a pretty new bong)I am not romantic, I'm practical to the point of being called very cold. I am not cold, I just don't give much of a damn about deep feelings, love, romance and all that crap. I'm attracted to the mind.
I'm a b1tch. I'm aware of it. And you reminding me of the fact is only going to make me stare blankly at you and ask why you insist on pointing out the obvious.
I love to argue. Not fight, but I have every intention of always being right. Don't you?
I detest married men affairs. They are stupid and pointless and if you are married, be aware that I do not intend to keep any secrets. I will not broadcast the news, but if asked, I will not deny it. Save the word "discreet" for tampon commercials please. I do realize that separated is not the same thing.
I like the type of guy who wants the word "obey" back in the marriage ceremony. No, I am not looking for marriage, I simply want the type of guy that has his goals, knows his goals and isn't real worried at my protests. It helps if you are a bit of a b*astard.
Please don't try to impress me. It annoys me. I'm going to like the quiet guy driving the Smart Car (hey, they're cute!) or moped far more than the loud idiot driving the Lexus. Hummers outside the bedroom are unnecessary.
I don't drive myself, I see little need for a car. I live in the country but am still on a bus route and I use it. So don't take it personally when I suggest that your location may be too far. I find that attention spans rarely last past your first winter driving experience in the Oswego NY area.
Do not attempt inflicting political views on me, I detest right wing rhetoric and hate having to lower my IQ to match your theories. We can work around this until the first time you try convincing me that Bush is a great guy.
Have a job. Please. A decent one. I'm looking long term eventually and granted, my trailer is bought and paid for but you flipping burgers and me selling Avon isn't going to pay the cable bill. It does help if you are in construction. I have several uses for you and your hammer.
I'm plain. I know. I'm fat. I know. No need to remind me. Having said that, I go for guys who cause women to look at me and get annoyed because they can't figure out "how she got someone so hot". I like good looking guys, taller than I am, not skinny, or emaciated, but well built. But please. No hairy bods. It grosses me out and you whiny jerks won't wax. Light, or no body hair. This goes for beards too. I like scruffy but I am not often into heavy beards. Redheaded guys have my immediate attention.
I've got a white knight complex. I'm convinced someone out there can save me from myself. I'm constantly doing the wrong thing, making bad choices, the whole shebang.
I have health issues. I'll be up front and tell you, I think most of them I bring on myself. A fit guy who doesn't care when I whine about working out. Guys like Bob Harper make me melt into a puddle. That's where my white knight issues come in. Its pretty hard to be healthy when you figure you have little reason to be. I'm trying not to be whiny, just honest. The guys that likes that fat girl, move on. The guy that wants to play Pygmalion, this is my challenge to you.
I work, but I own my own business, it isn't much but it pays for the simple things I want and need. I don't plan on changing my job to suit you. This is why a good job is a must. I'm a domesticated house b1tch and you will learn to appreciate that trust me. The novelty of having dinner on the table when you get home will make you eventually forget the last 3 ex wives and the countless hot but stupid girlfriends who burned boiled water.
Pot head. Not changing.
I'm damaged. If you don't want damaged, then why are you looking over the internet for women? Normal women go to bars don't they?
No one under 45. You don't interest me. Ever.
I'm also into girls. No. You may not watch. No. Your wife will not be joining us. I'm not totally poly, but I don't give monogamy to people who don't commit.
I don't easily add someone as a "favorite". So if you see I've added you, be assured I am definitely interested. You need to decide if you're freaked out or want to contact me. I rarely contact first.