Throughout my life, I have done a lot of writing, but the topic has not often been me, so I am just going to throw together a collection of random thoughts like a group of thumbnail sketches of me. Please bear with me.
I divorced seven years ago, so I am past the rebound, with minimal scarring and no remaining baggage; her and I maintain civility and live 1200 miles apart. I have a twelve year old son living with me who is fun, engaging, socially adept and ready for anything we want to do. Career responsibilities combined with single parenting can make my day very busy, but I have time for the right person.
Finding we already have common interests would be great, but not necessary, as we can always introduce each other to new ideas.
I am not searching for a new mom for my son, but I am searching for a woman who understands the delicate balance of a successful relationship. I do not rank my relationships, so I will not waste your time saying that my kid comes first. Relationships require nurturing, regardless of age or gender, without the burden of being of secondary importance.
If you are done raising kids and are looking for a travel companion, I am not at that point in my life. If you are looking to add a responsible adult with a steady paycheck into your life, I am looking for greater depth in a relationship. I will extend myself to your loved ones and I hope you will do the same, but the basis of our future should be what we build together, not what we had coming in. Companionship should be a part of our bond, not the defining characteristic of our relationship. I am still searching for that one great love of my life.
I am blessed (cursed?) with a wicked sense of humor that some find provocative and dark, while others find it scary and disturbing. You will need a very open mind here.
Regarding pets, I have had dogs, cats, horses, pygmy goats, fish and a pink-toed tarantula. At this time, I have a twenty-nine gallon aquarium full of fish. I do not hunt. Within the last year, I have lost my yellow tabby, Max, to old age and my chocolate lab, Hershey, to congestive heart failure/old age. I haven't yet been able to bring myself to replace them.
I appreciate most forms of music, but I gravitate more toward songs with interesting lyrics that are fun to sing, which means I enjoy karaoke. A willingness to sing with me would be great. After all, a well done solo effort is good, but duets are better. So bring out your iPod or MP3 player, your CD collection, your old cassette tape stash, those almost forgotten 8 track tapes and any vinyl records you cherish and crank it up!
I enjoy socializing with a fun group, whether it be attending an event, catching the big game at a pub or a friend’s house or entertaining at home. I enjoy sports, but I do not waste weekends in front of the flat screen, riding the recliner with a beer and the remote. I regard viewing sports as a theme around which to create a social event, such as a Super Bowl party or some other big game or event. I prefer to participate in sports rather than watch, most often with my son, including most of the ball-sports, volunteering with my son's Little League baseball team, riding our quads, heading to the beach for swimming (previously lived in Redondo Beach, have family in Santa Barbara). It's great having a son, he provides me with an excuse to remain involved in so many sports activities!
I like to open a bottle of wine while cooking. I think of cooking as a team sport, so you can hang with me, drink some wine, open a beer instead, provide commentary, make suggestions, pour a little wine into whatever I am cooking, get in the way, bump butts, rattle on about things you don't know about, dance, sing, hum, tell corny jokes, tell me about your day, ask me about mine, surprise me with a new recipe, tell me my cooking sucks, eat it anyway, say something inappropriate, regale me with stories of amazing meals you have prepared, kick off your shoes, remove any other clothing that seems in the way, turn up the music way too loud, taste my cooking and then call for take-out, wait until my hands are wet and then call my cell, engage in gratuitous groping, smell the food and pass judgment, et cetera. Enjoying food can/should be more than just eating.
I give a great massage, but not to just anyone.
I enjoy engaging in father/son activities too numerous to list here, reading non-fiction and periodicals, watching movies with a good script and great acting, discussing the topics of the day, performing home improvements, planning for the future, laughing at the past, enjoying time together and respecting time alone.
I do not need to know all of your secrets. I will listen, really listen, for as long as you need to talk. I will respond with what I believe, not necessarily with advice, not judgmentally, not dismissively, not condescendingly.
I am far from perfect, and while I am continually working to improve myself and welcome your efforts in assisting this ongoing self improvement project, a successful relationship should be possible without "fixing" me, as I am not broken, just human.
I know when to tell you when an outfit makes your ass look fat. I know when to be brutally honest and I know when my opinion is not required. I know the difference between opinion and fact. I know that when you say you will be ready in five minutes, I should be equally pleased if you are ready in twenty. I understand that we both had tighter bodies twenty years ago and have since adjusted my perception of physical beauty accordingly. You do not have to always look your best for me, but I am honored and pleased when you do.
I am "old school" on some things, like opening doors, pulling out chairs, standing when you join or leave the table at a formal gathering. I tone down the chivalry in more casual situations.
I will do all I can for you if you will do all you can for me. If you are looking for a nice guy or think you have found one here, take your search elsewhere. I am a good man looking for a good woman. If you believe the differences between "nice guy" and "good man" to be indiscernible, then perhaps our lives have proceeded too far down mutually exclusive paths.
I can make decisions as circumstances require, so, I do not live by a bunch of rules or rigid structure and regulations. "Rules and regs" are so limiting. I like spontaneity, creativity, inventiveness, who we are right now and who we aspire to be. I do not live in the past, but, I have learned from it. One of the things I have learned is to seize the day and make the most of it, life is shorter than you think. Remember all of those women on the Titanic who waved off the desert tray.
If you've read this far, then something must have interested you. E-mail me so we can share a laugh.