Well, since I seem to have a very specific type, I'll just lay it out there.
I'm apparently really into the shiftless layabouts. If you are unemployed, unmotivated and possibly still live with your parents... you could be next in my long line of failed relationships! Just think of it... an educated man to show you how things work (hey, I'm even handy around the house - you won't have to raise a finger!). A man with drive, ambition and goals to contrast your utter lack of motivation. A guy with a thick skin who can roll with the punches and both dish out AND take jokes... I'll be happy to be the one who doesn't sugar-coat things so that you can blame ME for all of your hurt feelings and failures. It's probably even ALREADY my fault that you haven't even emailed me!
I am completely co-depedant, so you don't have to worry about me booting you to the curb over petty things (like finances, commitment or general civility). In fact, you could probably take my cash, sleep with another dude and then come over and break some things in my house and I'd just clean it up and continue along our path of destruction.
So if you're looking for a Gentleman to use and abuse, I'm your guy! I have a place, a car, a life, friends, and my sh*ttogether. Please, I need some sort of zeitgeist in my life to screw all of this up! It's been way too long since I've been reminded of how awesome it is to be undervalued.
I'm over on minutes this month, otherwise I'd put my phone number up for you to call right away (either from your parents' landline or collect, from jail). So just email me and maybe we can work something out.
Also you must not own a Cat (seriously) I'm super serial about this one!
*Go and explore like the Goonies!
*Talk in third person on the first date.
*Blink wildly and then close your eyes really tight for an interesting light show.
*Rate passers by
*Watch TV, repeat everything said in Italian accent
*Have a "Who is less competitive" competition
*Pick up a dog so it can see things from your point of view
*Make Star Trek door noises
*At lunch time, sit in a parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars to See if they slow down.
*Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
*We could go for dinner and Stare at people through the points of a fork and pretend they're in jail.