gdmanbdby
Age: 46
Long Term
lovie2222
Age: 35
Friends
jgw007: I'm sorry. With my life, I'm sorry.
About
Non-Smoker with Athletic body type
City
Oak creek, Wisconsin
Details
45 year old Male, 5' 10" (178cm), Christian - other
Ethnicity
Mixed Race Capricorn with Brown
Intent
jgw007 is looking for a relationship.
Education
Some college
Personality
Intellectual
Profession
Freedom Fighter


dating
In darkness I dwell.






I am Seeking a Woman For Long Term
Needs Test View his relationship needs Chemistry View his chemistry results
Do you drink? No Do you want children? Undecided/Open
Marital Status Divorced Do you do drugs? No
Pets No Pets Eye Color Green
Do you have a car? Yes Do you have children? Yes
Longest Relationship Over 10 years How ambitious are you? Somewhat Ambitious



About Me
All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all















"How it must have been so lonely by my side"
That line from the song "Broken Together" just kills me every time I hear it.
The whole song really.
I wish I could have heard it about 25 years ago and applied it to my life.


https://youtu.be/RhxELo-uD3c
(Link to the video)

What do you think about when you look at me
I know we're not the fairytale you dreamed we'd be
You wore the veil, you walked the aisle, you took my hand
And we dove into a mystery

How I wish we could go back to simpler times
Before all our scars and all our secrets were in the light
Now on this hallowed ground, we've drawn the battle lines
Will we make it through the night

Its going to take much more than promises this time
Only God can change our minds

Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete
Could we just be broken together
If you can bring your shattered dreams and I'll bring mine
Could healing still be spoken and save us
The only way well last forever is broken together

How it must have been so lonely by my side
We were building kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind
I'm praying God will help our broken hearts align
And we won't give up the fight





I'll never forget that feeling as long as I live. Still makes my stomach churn just thinking about it.
I stood there in shock reading the words on her screen.
It felt like the room, even the world, turned on it's side and I was falling... standing and falling at the same time.
It had taking years to begin to trust her, though it was not her fault to be sure.
She had been wonderful and faithful all along.
It was my own insecurities that I projected onto her,
Always expecting the day to come when she'd realize that I wasn't good enough for her.
So I pushed her away for years,
Somehow imagining to myself that that would somehow soften the blow when that day came.
I'm sure now that it wouldn't have any how.
But I was a fool.
Hurt by "love" a few times, so when the real thing came along
It scared the breath out of me.
How could I have hoped that someone like her would stay with someone like me??
But she did.
For years.
And I kept my heart from her.
At least I kept the truth about my heart from her.
That it was hers.
Her's to have .... her's to break.
And final, when she couldn't take not knowing how much I loved her,
She listened to a strangers voice that claimed he did.
And my world collapsed all around me.
And I will never love that way again.
Because...if I do love again, she will know my heart.
All of my heart.




I have received several messages asking about why I'm on POF, since (in the writers opinion) it's clear I'm still hung up on someone. One writer even went as far as to suggest I may be guilty of “false advertising”. (!)

It's a bit difficult to explain my situation, but I do like to vent thoughts and feelings here. There is someone I still have feelings for... but it's irrelevant because that someone is not within my world any longer. She is unattainable and there is nothing I can do about it. She is gone.... by her own choice.

That is something I have accepted and have to live with... but it doesn't make it any easier, hence the need to vent on here. What does that mean for someone new in my life? I don't know. Why am I on here then? Because, while I highly doubt I will ever find someone that I feel as strongly about as I did her... I REALLY WANT TO! I want someone to prove to me that I can love again. I want it to all be new again. I want my heart to mend as it fills with new love! Is it possible? I don't know but that's what I want to find out.

Here's the upside for someone new... that I have loved like that, and lost... I know what it means now! I know so much better how to love someone else, how to communicate that love, how to express that love, how to make sure that someone KNOWS THAT THEY ARE MY WORLD, MY COMFORT, MY DREAM. I will never again lose a love because that someone didn't fully KNOW THAT I WAS ABSOLUTELY, INSATIABLY IN LOVE WITH THEM!

It really does bother my sometimes though... the way some people act like you have to either pretend to have no feelings for an ex, or just hate them... or they won't consider having a relationship with you. Why? If your relationship ever ended, is that how you'd want them to feel about you??

Another example is a widower. When a widower still carries a torch for their beloved, people generally think it's sweet and admire what a love it must have been. They don't go, oh you're still hung up on her, I would never date you!

Anyways, just needed to vent a bit... cheers and good fishing!



I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
Barely holding on to you



This is new from one of my favorite groups, Casting Crowns.
It's so heartbreaking, but beautiful and hopeful at the same time.

https://screen.yahoo.com/broken-together-official-music-video-043500274.html

What do you think about when you look at me
I know we're not the fairy tale you dreamed we'd be
You wore the veil, you walked the aisle, you took my hand
And we dove into a mystery

How I wish we could go back to simpler times
Before all our scars and all our secrets were in the light
Now on this hallowed ground, we've drawn the battle lines
Will we make it through the night?

It's going to take much more than promises this time
Only God can change our minds

Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete
Could we just be broken together
If you can bring your shattered dreams and I'll bring mine
Could healing still be spoken and save us
The only way we'll last forever is broken together

How it must have been so lonely by my side
We were building kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind
I'm praying God will help our broken hearts align
And we won't give up the fight

It's going to take much more than promises this time
Only God can change our minds

Maybe you and I

First Date
Mini golf. I'll let you win.
Hot wings. So hot that our noses run and we start hallucinating.
Good times.