I'm Keith and I'm from South East London, near Bexleyheath. I'm a genuinely nice bloke and I've got a great sense of humour. I know everyone says that, but I really have!
So why am I here? Thanks for asking. I'll tell you. I guess there just weren't enough women rejecting me and crushing my poor little heart in the real world, so I decided to come online and maximise the amount of women that can reject me. It's working wonders! I think the next step is to see if I can get rejected from appearing on The Undateables!
I've been single for a while and have been bullied, sorry, "encouraged" to give Internet dating a go. I tried to find the love of my life on eBay but all I found was a second hand iPhone charger and that broke after two days. Then I tried to find my dream woman on Autotrader but all I found was an S reg BMW with only one wing mirror. Plenty of Fish is my last resort! If I come away from this with an old Adam Sandler DVD, I'm giving up!
So a bit about me... I'm 36, a Police Officer, (I swear I'm one of the good ones and I'm not a typical copper!) and I don't have any kids. I work shifts which has its good and bad points. I leave my work at work when I leave so don't worry, if we go out for a date I won't be looking around wondering if the weird guy sat on the table opposite us has got any drugs in his pocket!
Outside of work I love going to watch stand up comedy. I used to do stand up but stopped a couple of years ago to concentrate on my new project. I've written a sitcom and have cast it and we've just finished filming the pilot. I also play a small role in it. I'm going to be taking the edit to some TV channels and I'm hoping that it will get picked up and then I (we? lol) can be RICH!! I also go and watch my beloved A.rsenal (plenty of fish thinks a***nal is a swear word... How rude!) with my friends now and then.
Like most people I like holidays and getting away. I'd love to do some mini breaks but it's a bit sad doing it on your own... That's where you come in! I spent five summers working in America at Camp America and they were the best five summers of my life. I'm great with kids unless they won't let me share their Lego, in which case I am violent with kids.
I love music and have a wide range of what I like to listen to and I don't consign myself to just one or two genres. If it sounds good to my ears, then who cares what label it has been given? The best live performer I have seen is Prince. The man is a legend and even if you don't like his music, he is an amazing performer. He makes me want to give up playing my guitars!
Drop me a message if you like. I'd love to hear from you! I'm not a nutter, I won't use text talk and I'm not on here looking for a shag. I'm very loveable... Honest!
It'd be nice to meet a nice girl to share things with. I'm looking for a sweet girl with a good sense of humour, so if that's you and you haven't been put off yet, say hello! Alternatively, if you have a wing mirror for an S reg BMW for sale, I'm willing to pay up to four English pounds!
Something where we can talk and get to know each other. A drink, a coffee, museum, gallery. We can have dinner on the second date! (Free toy in the Happy Meal included)